In your case that problem does not arise at all. You are not destructive or disobedient. In your case it is only the friendship with ignorance that is delaying you. When that friendship goes away, then you will enter into the soul.
There are three types of disciples. One type prays to the Supreme to please me or to please the Supreme in me at every moment in the Supreme’s own way. Another type prays or meditates to please the Supreme in me fifty per cent of the time, and fifty per cent they expect me to please them in their own way. They pray to the Supreme so that they can fulfil the Supreme in the Supreme’s way fifty per cent of the time, and the other fifty per cent the Supreme has to please them in their own way. The third category is praying to the Supreme only to please them one hundred per cent of the time in their own way.
Now you select the category which you want to belong to. Can you say, “I try in my own way to be in the first category, to become a first class disciple of the Supreme, to please Him all the time in His own way. That is my prayer.” If you cannot say it, then learn to say it. Everybody try to please the Supreme in His own way. Then you become a first class disciple.From:Sri Chinmoy,AUM — Vol.II-4, No. 2, 27 February 1977, Vishma Press, 1977
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