_Question:_ What does the Supreme think is the funniest thing about me?

Guru: The Supreme thinks the funniest thing about you is this: when you get angry with someone or when you scold someone, before you speak ill of them, before you scold them, before you insult them, you get the painful experience that that person is going to receive from you. Then, in spite of having the painful experience of the person, you hurt the person anyway. You know you are going to hurt someone, and you hurt them even though you have already felt the painful experience in the inner world, long before you have actually hurt the person on the physical plane. So the first sufferer is not the one with whom you are angry. The first sufferer is your own noble self. You suffer first; then you make others suffer.

When you suffer by making others suffer, then your vital ego, your sense of separativity, does not get any satisfaction. If you really hurt someone and you remain unhurt, only then have you won in the competitive world. When you lose the case before you actually make somebody else lose the case, then you are even, and your vital will not be happy with that. Your vital will be happy only when it is victorious. But your soul will be happy when you don’t hurt anyone at all. Before you hurt someone, if you intuitively enter into the experience of suffering of that person, and then take an oath not to hurt the person on the physical plane, then your soul will be extremely happy.

The vital knows how to attack. But in your case, before it attacks, it goes through the experience of being attacked. The funniest thing is that you want to be the victor, but instead of becoming the victor, you remain equal, although you attack first. To be the real victor, either do not attack at all, or after having the painful experience, do not inflict the same pain on the other person on the physical plane. This is how you can put an end to the funniest thing in your life.

From:Sri Chinmoy,AUM — Vol.II-5, No. 3, 27 March 1978, Vishma Press, 1978
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/aum_130