My aspiration¹

I am an aspirant; I aspire. When I aspire, I radiate: my entire being radiates, my physical reality radiates, my whole face radiates. The seekers around me get inspiration from my radiation, and my radiation serves them by increasing their aspiration. In this way, with my aspiration I offer a special service to those who are around me.

My aspiration is my illumination. I illumine my own unlit, dark and obscure parts. I illumine my own ignorance-life, and those fellow-travellers who are around me get illumination from my illumination. In this way my illumination serves those seekers who are around me by helping to illumine their unlit and obscure lives.

My aspiration is my realisation. When I aspire, I see that there was a time when I cheerfully and madly danced a dance of division. In those days I wanted division to reign supreme in my entire life. “I” and “my”: these were the two songs I knew then. But now, in my aspiration-life, I see that division cannot solve my problems. It is only my union, my oneness with the Source, the life-tree, the perennial tree which through Eternity has been growing inside my heart, which can and will solve all my problems. My oneness tells me that there is only one Source, and to that Source all human beings and the entire creation belong. In oneness founded on a solid basis I get satisfaction far beyond my imagination.

My aspiration is my perfection. Perfection is my self-transcendence experience. At every moment, by virtue of my aspiration, I transcend my previous heights, and each time I transcend I get new inspiration. My inner being, my entire being, is inundated with new inspiration and with a new dawn. Perfection is my constant self-transcendence to satisfy the seeker in me and to satisfy my Beloved Supreme.

Aspiration is torture: so says my lethargic body. Aspiration is pressure: so says my unruly, restless vital. Aspiration is terror: so says my doubting and suspecting mind. Aspiration is pleasure: so says my crying heart. Aspiration is leisure: so says my loving soul. And finally, my Lord Supreme says that aspiration is nothing short of treasure. Out of His infinite Bounty He tells me that my aspiration is not only my treasure but also His treasure.

My desire-life unconsciously wanted to destroy me, my reality-existence. My aspiration-life consciously wants to employ me and make me perfect so that I can serve my Beloved Supreme constantly in His own way. My Beloved Supreme compassionately tells me that He will give me what He has and what He is: infinite Compassion. I tell Him that I shall give Him what I have and what I am: a tiny drop of devotion. He accepts what I give Him lovingly, smilingly and unconditionally. I accept what He gives me devotedly, soulfully and unreservedly.

From:Sri Chinmoy,AUM — Vol.II-6, No. 3, March 1980, Vishma Press, 1980
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