AUM — Vol.II-6, No. 9, September 1980

Picture

Oneness-song with Perfection’s Vision-Delight

— photo by Sarama

Aurora-flora

On September 15 Sri Chinmoy began delivering a short inspiring talk each morning after sports practice at Jamaica High School track. He asked his disciples to concentrate on the message during the meditation which followed. All the talks given in September appear below.

15 September 1980

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Inferiority, my inferiority!

Do you not realise that you are hurting my beautiful eyes?

How can I forgive you, and why should I?

Inferiority, my inferiority!

Do you not realise that you are killing my soulful heart?

How can I forgive you, and why should I?

Inferiority, my inferiority!

Do you not realise that you are disappointing my hopeful soul?

How can I forgive you, and why should I?

Inferiority, my inferiority!

Do you not realise that you are deserting my blessingful Supreme?

How can I forgive you, and why should I?

```

16 September 1980

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My aspiration is my preparation.

My dedication is my preparation.

My preparation is for my emptiness.

My preparation is for my fulness.

My emptiness is my readiness.

My fulness is my readiness.

My emptiness-readiness pleases

God the Compassion-Giver.

My fulness-readiness pleases

God the Perfection-Proclaimer. ```

17 September 1980

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I love my mind;

Therefore, I am challenging its doubts

Dauntlessly.

I love my heart;

Therefore, I am changing its needs

Wisely.

I love my vital;

Therefore, I am controlling its aggressions

Forcefully.

I love my body;

Therefore, I am patrolling its boundaries

Carefully.

I love my soul;

Therefore, I am flying with it

Devotedly.

I love my Beloved Supreme;

Therefore, I am crying for Him

Sleeplessly,

Unreservedly and

Unconditionally.

```

18 September 1980

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Determination, my determination:

You are divinely great

Inside my mind.

You are supremely good

Inside my heart.

You bring me measureless riches

From the helpless poverty

Of hopeless frustrations.

You smash impossibility’s

Everest-pride for me.

You show me tomorrow’s

Far-distant God

In the tearing immediacy

Of today. ```

Picture

19 September 1980

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O my mind’s dear Supreme,

You like me

Not because I am great.

I am great

Because You like me.

O my heart’s sweet Supreme,

You love me

Not because I am good.

I am good

Because You love me.

O my life’s Beloved Supreme,

You want me

Not because I am always satisfied.

I am always satisfied

Because You want me.

```

Picture

20 September 1980

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Discipline, discipline, discipline, discipline!

Discipline is my faithfulness

To my poor body.

Discipline is my faithfulness

To my dynamic vital.

Discipline is my faithfulness

To my searching mind.

Discipline is my faithfulness

To my crying heart.

Discipline is my faithfulness

To my dreaming soul.

Discipline is my faithfulness

To my loving, blessing and fulfilling Lord Supreme.

My discipline is an opportunity-seed.

My discipline is a preparation-plant.

My discipline is a manifestation-tree.

When my entire life becomes a discipline-boat,

My Lord comes to me and says:

“My child, I am your Perfection-Boatman

And I will be sailing you

To My Satisfaction-Shore.”

```

22 September 1980

My Lord Supreme, this is a special day, Gratitude Day. Alas, I do not have even an iota of gratitude to offer You. Since I have no gratitude, please tell me what I can offer You instead.

“My child, then give Me a soulful promise.”

My Lord Supreme, I do not know what a soulful promise is. I always break my promises. I promise in season and out of season, but never do I fulfil my promises. Such being the case, My Lord Supreme, please tell me what I can offer You instead of a soulful promise.

“My child, then tell Me that you will love Me divinely.”

My Lord Supreme, I do not know what divine Love is. How can I offer You divine Love when I do not know what divine Love feels like?

“My child, then give Me a fruitful cry. Cry for Me once, only once in your life.”

Alas, my Lord Supreme, I do not cry even for myself. How do You expect me to cry for You?

“My child, let Me tell you one thing. Each of us deserves a special name, a new name. Your new name will be a secret and clever unwillingness. And My new name will be an unreservedly open and compassionately stupid Forgiveness.

23 September 1980

My sweet Supreme, I wanted to bind Your Power with my desire-life.

I failed.

My sweeter Supreme, I wanted to bind Your Peace with my aspiration-life.

I failed.

My sweetest Supreme, I wanted to bind Your Bliss with my dedication-life.

I failed.

My sweet, sweeter and sweetest Supreme, I wanted to bind Your Love with my surrender-life.

I failed.

Please tell me why I failed each and every time. Why, my sweet, sweeter and sweetest Supreme?

“My sweet child, My sweeter child, My sweetest child, you failed because you wanted to bind My possessions. You will succeed if you want to bind Me, and not My possessions.”

My sweet, sweeter and sweetest Lord Supreme, then tell me what You are.

“My sweet child, My sweeter child, My sweetest child,

I am My Infinity’s Compassion for you,

I am My Eternity’s Concern for you, and

I am My Immortality’s Love for you.

“If you can bind Me, then you are bound to bind My possessions. But if you want to bind only My possessions, you will never be able to bind them, and, at the same time, I shall always remain far, far, far, infinitely far away from you.

“Possess Me, claim Me and own Me with your oneness-light and oneness-height. Lo and behold, all My possessions immediately become all yours.”

24 September 1980

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What can I do?

I can think of my Lord’s constant Forgiveness

In my life.

What else can I do?

I can feel my Lord’s constant Love

Inside my heart.

What can I see?

I can see

A beautiful sunrise every day

Upon my eyes.

What else can I see?

I can see

A moonlit night

Upon my head.

What can I give and receive?

I can give

My ant-tiny gratitude

To my Lord Supreme,

And receive from Him

His Himalayan-high Satisfaction. ```

25 September 1980

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Left to myself,

I shall once more become

A perfect slave

To my desiring life.

Left to myself,

I shall once more become

A good friend

Of my sleeping body.

Left to myself,

I shall once more deeply appreciate

My attacking vital.

Left to myself,

I shall once more become

An ardent admirer

Of my doubting mind.

Left to myself,

I shall once more helplessly cry

With my weeping heart.

Left to myself,

I shall once more deliberately ignore

My illumining soul.

Left to myself,

I shall once more remain away, far away

From the ever-blessing Hands

Of my Beloved Supreme.

O, I cannot do that.

I shall not do that.

I shall always remain

In the Heart of my Beloved Supreme.

I shall always remain

At the Feet of my Beloved Supreme.

I shall always remain

With the Vision of my Beloved Supreme.

I shall always remain

For the Manifestation of my Beloved Supreme.

Him to please in His own way

I shall become an ever-climbing tree,

I shall become an ever-inspiring flower

And I shall become an ever-nourishing fruit. ```

26 September 1980

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Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

You are helping me

To come out of lethargy-destruction.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

You are helping me

To smash asunder the heavy and tight shackles

Of frustration-slavery.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

You are helping my mind

To free its luminous vision

From the prison of teeming doubts.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

You are helping my heart

To free its marvellous peace

From the cave of torturing insecurity.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

You are helping my soul

To dream in and through me

Clearly, swiftly,

Powerfully and triumphantly.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

You are serving my Beloved Supreme

To make me a perfect instrument of His,

Cheerfully, sleeplessly and unreservedly.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

When I use you divinely

I create not only a satisfaction-world within me

But also a promise-world for the entire world.

I create a new dawn for me.

I create a challenging and fulfilling reality

For the whole world.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

When I undivinely use you,

I destroy my inner world

That wants to grow and glow.

And I also destroy my outer world

That wants to ascend and transcend.

Ambition, my friend unparalleled,

I shall always use you

In a divine way

So that you can at every moment be proud of

My sincerity, my dedication and my transformation.

```

27 September 1980

What is a miracle? A miracle is an unusual incident. A miracle is either an illumining or an exciting experience. A miracle is either a happy smile or an unhappy cry of nature.

I am a seeker. I am a God-lover. I pray and meditate every day. That means I have chosen God to be my eternal Pilot, and God has chosen me to be eternally His own. He is my chosen Master, and I am His chosen instrument. Such being the case, how is it possible for me to become jealous? How is it possible for me to become insecure? How is it possible for me to become impure? I pray and meditate regularly. That means I am part and parcel of divinity. For me to be jealous, insecure and impure — is it not an unhappy miracle, a deplorable miracle that I perform every day?

Again, I am an insignificant human being. For years and years I have cherished my friendship with teeming doubts. Now I have a new friend: a blossoming faith. For me to transform my life of doubts into a life of faith — is it not a happy miracle, a divine miracle? Desire-life was my only reality, and now aspiration-life has become my favourite reality. Is it not a miracle? I am not even six feet tall, but I am praying to the Absolute Supreme to grow into His infinite Height, which is beyond my mind’s imagination-flight. I am aiming at that Height; I am longing to grow into that Height infinite. Is it not a happy miracle? I am mortal. My thoughts, my deeds, my experiences, everything that I have and everything that I am represents mortality. Yet, in spite of this, I am longing for Immortality. Is it not a divine miracle?

If I enter into friendship with ignorance, if I become a friend of jealousy, meanness, insecurity and impurity, then I must feel that I am performing undivine miracles day in and day out. And again, when I am one with humanity, when I think of vastness, luminosity, oneness and God-Satisfaction in God’s own way, I am performing the supreme miracle. It is up to me to play the role of either an ignorant weakling or an all-knowing God-man. Finally, if I truly, soulfully and unconditionally love my Beloved Supreme, then I need no more miracles, for there can be no greater miracle than my soulful cry for the total realisation of my Beloved Supreme. As a human being I care for humanity’s appreciation and admiration. But if I change my desire-life and cry only for God — to please Him in His own way, to manifest Him in His own way sleeplessly and unconditionally — then in God’s Eye I am the supremely divine miracle-performer.

27 September 19801

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Body, my stupid body,

I shall no longer allow you

To have an inordinate hunger.

Vital, my shameless vital,

I shall no longer allow you

To have an insatiable thirst.

Mind, my clever mind,

I shall no longer allow myself

To fall under the sweep of your arguments.

Heart, my hopeless heart,

I shall no longer allow you

To remain timidity-incarnate.

Soul, my former friend,

I shall no longer allow you

To remain indifferent towards me.

God, my bountiful God,

I shall no longer allow myself

To remain unconscious of Your Compassion-Sky.

```

This message was given in the evening at Sri Chinmoy's home.↩

28 September 1980

Superiority, my superiority, why are you so cruel to me? Why do you make me always sad and mad? Do you not realise that at every moment I am assailed by the fear that someone is going to dethrone me, someone is going to take away my crown?

Why do I have to be always in the world of darkening, threatening and killing fear? I want joy at every moment, and this joy I can never get from you. The fleeting joy that I get when I sit an inch higher than the rest of the world disappears when I see the arrows of jealousy, meanness, anger and frustration that are hurled at me by the rest of the world. My joy is insignificant in comparison to the sufferings I go through by becoming a little bit superior to others. I need abiding happiness, and this happiness I can never get from you, O superiority.

I do not need and I do not want inferiority, either. Inferiority always kills me with sorrows, despondency, fear, doubt and meanness. Inferiority sometimes gives way; sometimes it surrenders helplessly to superiority, thinking that it is a hopeless case. It will not fight anymore against superiority. In the battlefield of life, sometimes it surrenders and wants to remain where it is. Willingly or unwillingly it wants to serve superiority. But superiority never, never tries to come down or allow inferiority to come up and be on the same footing with it. Superiority fights until the last moment to maintain its position. It never willingly gives up its pedestal.

O superiority, I do not need you, I do not want you. O inferiority, I do not need you, I do not want you. O equality, I need you desperately and sleeplessly. I need you until the divine hour dawns for me when I know specifically what God’s Will is. Once I know consciously what God’s Will is, and once I can cheerfully and unconditionally execute God’s Will, then in my life of aspiration and dedication there can be no such things as superiority and inferiority. When I am all oneness with the universal and transcendental Will of my Beloved Supreme, happiness will reign supreme in my heart of aspiration and in my life of dedication.

O superiority, O inferiority, far have you to go. Again, at the end of your journey’s goal, you will see that you have not gone anywhere, for you have nowhere to go. If I start with equality, there shall come a time when reality, God’s Oneness-Reality, will come and lead me, guide me and take me to my destined goal. It is from equality that I will enter into God’s Oneness-Reality, and in God’s Oneness-Reality I will have constant peace, constant satisfaction and constant love for the poor earth and for the rich Heaven.

29 September 1980

My dear Supreme, my sweet Supreme, my Beloved Supreme, I talk too much, too much, too much. How is it that You do not change my nature? How and why, my Eternity’s Supreme, why?

I talk too much. What is worse, I literally die for a listening ear. And what is still worse, as if that is not enough, I want to give advice to each and every soul on earth, with no exception. Alas, nobody appreciates my advice. Nobody needs my advice. I expect appreciation and admiration from them. I expect everyone to extol me to the skies. But alas, nobody, nobody pays any heed to my advice. Yet, I talk and talk and give advice to each and every one on earth.

I always advise the members of my earthly existence — my body, vital, mind and heart — but they do not listen to me. I advise my soul-bird not to leave this beautiful cage called the body, for if it leaves this cage, then I shall die. I want to remain on earth forever and forever. I want to remain immortal on earth. I even dare to advise You, my Beloved Supreme.

Lord, O my Eternity’s Lord Supreme, I know You have many names. I have but one name. Since it is not fair for You to have many names while I have only one, I beg of You to have only one name. If You do not agree to my proposal, if You do not listen to my advice, then have only two names. More than two names I do not want You to have, especially for me. Your two names will be Compassion-Sun and Forgiveness-Ocean. When I need compassion, I shall call You Compassion-Sun. When I need forgiveness, I shall call You Forgiveness-Ocean. These are the two names I would like You to have from now on. All the other names that You have will not be used by me anymore.

O my dear Supreme, O my Lord Supreme, I have advised You time and again. Now is the time for me to beg of You to grant me a special boon, a most special boon. I do not want to remain an idle talker any more. I wish to become an active doer. Finally, I would like to become a selfless lover. I shall love You with my self-giving heart, my self-giving life and my selfless oneness-existence.

30 September 1980

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Indifference reigns supreme in my life.

My body is indifferent

To the dynamic urge of my vital.

My vital is indifferent

To the deserving rest of my body.

My mind is indifferent

To the soulful cry of my heart.

My heart is indifferent

To the inquisitive quest of my mind.

My soul is indifferent

To the slow efforts, slower success

And slowest progress of my life.

Even my Beloved Supreme, it seems, is indifferent

To my supreme realisation.

Had He flooded my entire being

With His Concern Supreme,

I am sure I would not have been waiting

For millennia for my realisation.

Alas, alas, O my Beloved Supreme,

Do tell me why You are indifferent to me,

And why the rest of the members of my family

Are indifferent to one another.

“My sweet child, I am not indifferent to you.

Dive deep within and you will see

That Constant Concern is My only name.

And about your body, vital, mind, heart and soul,

I wish to tell you that they can be freed

From the fatal disease of indifference.

They can be cured of this fatal disease

Only by using the medicine: oneness-concern.

When oneness-concern plays its role within and

Without,

Satisfaction at every moment shall loom large

In the seeker’s life, in your life.

The indifference-flow will be found no-where.

Only the oneness-flow will be found all-where. ```

Poems

Two hearts

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The Christ-Heart

Has taught me

How to claim and proclaim God.

The Christian heart

Has taught me

How to blame and defame man.

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I need, I have, I am

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What I need is

A sleepless heart

To love my Lord Supreme.

What I have is

A self-important heart.

What I am is

An impoverished heart. ```

A tempted heart

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You are, indeed,

A tempted heart.

No, never

A guilty heart. ```

A chained heart

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A chained heart

Within,

An ambitious heart

Without:

This is what he unmistakably is.

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A praying heart

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A praying heart

Can never be

An abandoned heart.

A loving heart

Can never be

An insecure heart.

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A faithful heart

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A faithful heart

Can never be

A forgotten heart.

A meditative heart

Can never be

A broken heart.

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No difference

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No difference between

A doubtful heart

And a disappointed heart.

No difference between

A complex heart

And an unscrupulous heart.

No difference between

A missionary heart

And an untiring heart.

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A smiling and dancing world-heart

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Before I started my aspiration-life

I was a lonely heart.

But now I am

A smiling and dancing world-heart. ```

My clever prayer

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When I pray,

I cleverly ask God

To run errands for me.

When I meditate,

God wisely asks me

To run errands for Him.

```

My devoted prayer

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When I pray,

I kneel down

Devotedly and secretly.

When I meditate,

I lift up my heart

Soulfully and perfectly.

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My needs

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What my prayer needs

Is a patience-tree.

What my meditation needs

Is a gratitude-flower. ```

When I pray

```

When I pray,

I pray for the right thing: peace.

When I meditate,

I meditate on the right person: God. ```

My five-cent prayer

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My five-cent prayer

Expects

A five-thousand-dollar answer.

Alas, alas! ```

My ten-thousand-dollar meditation

```

My ten-thousand-dollar meditation

Expects nothing,

Not even a fleeting Smile from God.

For me meditation in itself

Is all-achievement.

```

Picture

The core of India's light

[Continued from previous issues]

Maitri

Friendliness There can be no real friendliness unless there is unreserved oneness founded upon unconditional Godliness.

Mamata

Self-attachment When I enjoy self-attachment God enjoys satisfaction-detachment.

Manojaya

Conquest of the mind The conquest of the mind liberates the human from the animal, illumines the human for the divine, prepares the divine for the Supreme.

Matsarya

Jealousy Because of our jealousy-thorn, perfection-flower ignores us, satisfaction-fruit abhors us.

Maya

Illusion

The desire-world is all illusion.

The aspiration-world is all illumination.

The realisation-world is all perfection.

The perfection-world is all satisfaction. The satisfaction-world is all oneness and all newness, oneness-universal and newness-transcendental.

Mithya

False

Everything is false, so thinks the doubting mind.

Everything can be transformed, so feels the crying heart. Everything can be perfected, liberated and made into a perfect instrument of the Supreme, so knows the all-knowing soul.

Moksha

Liberation

Liberation from attachment-clouds I admire.

Liberation from the enchantment-sky I adore.

Liberation from the attainment-snare I love.

[to be continued]

Picture

Songs

I shall obey You

```

I shall obey You,

I shall be at Your Feet,

Constantly loving You

And serving You.

In You perfection I shall meet. ```

Nai samasya nai samadhan

```

/Nai samasya nai samadhan/

/Nai nai nai adan pradan/

/Bhitare bahire maha nirakar/

/Dilo more aji karunar har/

```

From:Sri Chinmoy,AUM — Vol.II-6, No. 9, September 1980, Vishma Press, 1980
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/aum_144