I climb up, I fall down

1.

```

I climb up

Immediately

When I love God only.

```

2.

```

I fall down

Justifiably

When I want God

To love me only. ```

3.

```

I climb up

When I have dedication-smiles

Inside my aspiration-tears.

```

4.

```

I fall down

When my aspiration is empty of tears

And my dedication is empty of smiles.

```

5.

```

I climb up

When my mind's equanimity

And my heart's divinity

Enjoy their transcendental

And universal partnership.

```

6.

```

I fall down

When my mind and my heart

Are at daggers drawn.

```

7.

```

I climb up

When my heart becomes

A God-obedience-feast.

```

8.

```

I fall down

When I attend my mind's

God-unwillingness-banquet.

```

9.

```

I climb up

When my heart's sincerity-tears

And purity-smiles

Grow, glow and flow together. ```

10.

```

I fall down

When I jump into

The hostile turmoil

Of my mind's confusion-life. ```

11.

```

I climb up

When I pine for

My Lord's Forgiveness-Smiles.

```

12.

```

I fall down

When I indulge in

My God-unawareness

And God-unwillingness-life. ```

13.

```

I climb up

When I readily, gladly

And eagerly accept

My heart's God-wisdom-light. ```

14.

```

I fall down

When I greedily, stubbornly

And willfully cherish

My mind's ignorance-futility-night. ```

15.

```

I climb up

And fly and fly in Infinity's Sky

On God-Compassion-Plane.

```

16.

```

I fall down

And fracture all my limbs

When I board my

Ego-gratification-plane. ```

17.

```

I climb up

When my heart becomes

The quintessence

Of angelic sweetness. ```

18.

```

I fall down

When my mind becomes

The epitome

Of satanic bitterness. ```

19.

```

I climb up

When my aspiration-heart

Is supercharged

With God-manifestation-eagerness. ```

20.

```

I fall down

When I consciously

And deliberately enjoy

My God-indifference-mind. ```

21.

```

I climb up

When I prayerfully long for

God-Satisfaction-Breath.

```

22.

```

I fall down

When I arrogantly enjoy my mind's

Self-aggrandisement-game.

```

23.

```

I climb up

When I stoically and callously

Disregard my mind's

Doubt-summons. ```

24.

```

I fall down

When my heart deliberately embraces

God-faith-famine.

```

25.

```

I climb up

When I have an allergic reaction

To name and fame.

```

26.

```

I fall down

When I richly indulge

In name and fame.

```

27.

```

I climb up

The moment I become

My desire-cremator.

```

28.

```

I fall down

The moment I become

My frustration-follower.

```

29.

```

I climb up

When I burn down

My doubt-bridge.

```

30.

```

I fall down

When I sleeplessly and breathlessly

Build my doubt-bridge.

```

31.

```

I climb up

The day my mind

Willingly goes with my heart

To visit God. ```

32.

```

I fall down

The day my mind

Vehemently rejects the idea

Of visiting God. ```

33.

```

I climb up

When I have complete faith

In my soul-compass.

```

34.

```

I fall down

When I take my suspicion-mind

As my polestar.

```

35.

```

I climb up

When I am in perfect harmony

With the world.

```

36.

```

I fall down

When I cherish my mind's

Disharmony-discovery.

```

37.

```

When I forcefully tear down

My mind's towering doubts,

I climb up

High, higher, highest. ```

38.

```

When I sumptuously feed

My mind's brooding doubts,

I fall down

Far, farther, farthest. ```

39.

```

I climb up

When I become

My oneness-purity-heart.

```

40.

```

I fall down

When I become

My division-impurity-mind.

```

41.

```

When I cry for the

God-necessity-experience,

I climb up.

```

42.

```

When I take pride

In my self-analysis-experiment,

I fall down.

```

43.

```

I climb up

Extremely high

The moment I relinquish

My ego-crown

And my ego-throne

Forever. ```

44.

```

I fall down

To the very depths

The moment I proudly

And sovereignly enjoy

My ego-crown

And my ego-throne. ```

45.

```

I climb up

When I just ring

My aspiration-heart-bell.

```

46.

```

I fall down

Even when I gently strike

My ostentation-mind-gong.

```

47.

```

I climb up

When I use

My aspiration-eye

And my faith-heart. ```

48.

```

I fall down

When I employ

My overconfidence-mind

And my arrogance-vital. ```

49.

```

When I take God

As my only escort,

I climb up

Immediately. ```

50.

```

When I take either my mind

Or my vital as my escort,

I fall down

Unavoidably. ```

51.

```

When I awake

From my spirituality-coma,

I climb up.

```

52.

```

When I enjoy even unconsciously

My ego-drama,

I fall down.

```

53.

```

When I use my God-devotion

To raise the world's standard,

I climb up.

```

54.

```

When I use my pride-mind

To raise the world's standard,

I fall down.

```

55.

```

When I pray to God:

"My Lord, do not lose

Your Grip on me,"

God smiles

And I climb up.

```

56.

```

When I think I can steer

My life-boat

Easily and perfectly all by myself,

I fall down. ```

57.

```

When I receive enormous joy

From every little thing I do,

I climb up.

```

58.

```

When I get no joy

No matter what I do

Or how I do,

I fall down. ```

59.

```

When I enjoy

My God-obedience-bliss,

I climb up.

```

60.

```

When I enjoy

My God-disobedience-volcano,

I fall down.

```

61.

```

When I become

My God-devotion-heart,

I climb up.

```

62.

```

When I become

My confusion-addiction-mind,

I fall down.

```

63.

```

When God's Compassion

Steers my heart-boat,

I climb up

Into the skies. ```

64.

```

When I allow my mind

To steer my life-boat,

I fall down

Into the abysmal abyss. ```

From:Sri Chinmoy,I climb up, I fall down, Agni Press, 1998
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/cuf