I wish to be free

I wish to be free from restlessness, fear and doubt. Restlessness slows down my speed, my inner speed. Fear unnerves me. Doubt poisons me. I need quietude to replace my restlessness. I need courage to replace my fear. I need faith to replace my doubt. My quietude is my confidence, my Lord’s assurance. My courage shall serve God the man throughout the length and breadth of the world. My courage shall love man the God in the inner world and in the outer world. My faith shall expedite not only my journey, but the journey of all sincere seekers; for we are one, inseparably one. The strength of my faith will strengthen them and the strength of their faith will strengthen me.

I wish to be free from insincerity, insecurity and impurity. Insincerity separates me from my Lord’s greatness. Insecurity separates me from my Lord’s vastness. Impurity separates me from my Lord’s closeness. Sincerity will replace my insincerity. Security will replace my insecurity. Purity will replace my impurity. My sincerity from now on will be my safeguard; it will always save me from inner and outer destruction. My security will make me feel that my Source, my Beloved Supreme, is always for me, for me, for me, for me. No matter what I do or what I say, He is eternally for me. My purity will enable me to speak to Him, sing with Him and sport with Him here, there and all-where at every moment.

I wish to be free from self-imposition, self-exposition and self-exploitation. I shall not impose any more severe, ruthless austerity on my life, for that is not the right way. I shall not expose my ignorance-dream to the world at large any more. I shall not exploit myself any more. I have already exploited my Supreme’s Compassion infinite. I have already exploited the world’s abundant patience. I have already exploited my weak helplessness. But I shall not exploit God, I shall not exploit the world and I shall not exploit myself any more.

I wish to be free from what I am in the outer world and from what I am in the inner world. Right now in the outer world I am a hopeless hope, and in the inner world I am a fruitless promise. I want to transform my hope-world into a reality-world, the reality which is fulfilment itself. I want to transform my fruitless promise into fruitful action. This I can do only on the strength of my sleepless inner cry. I can cultivate my inner cry only when I offer to my Beloved Supreme the most precious thing that He has granted me out of His infinite Bounty, and this most precious thing is the tiny flame of my gratitude-heart.

From:Sri Chinmoy,Everest-Aspiration, part 1, Agni Press, 1977
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