Examination

“My Beloved Lord Supreme, do tell me only one thing to satisfy my curiosity. Do You try to examine me? You say that You do not try to examine me, but it seems to me that at times You do try to examine me. Am I correct in my feeling?”

“My child, to be very frank with you, I do not examine you. Examination is not a way of teaching anybody. Examination only creates fear, undue fear, in the student, no matter how brilliant the student is. The student fears that he will fail and be embarrassed, and then the world will look down upon him. What you call examination, I call illumination-game. I do not examine you to pass you or fail you. I just want to play the illumination-game with you so that you do not underestimate your capacity or overestimate your capacity. When you underestimate your capacity, unconsciously you cherish false modesty, and when you overestimate your capacity, you make friends with an exorbitant depression-ignorance. To underestimate one’s capacity and to overestimate one’s capacity are equally bad.

“In your life of aspiration and dedication, when you play the game of illumination, you have to feel the necessity of bringing your inner cry to the fore, and also your ignorance-lethargy to the fore. You have to surrender not only the divine part of your existence but also the undivine part.

“So My examination is not an examination in the true sense of the term. It is an offering for your self-perfection. In your present state of consciousness, ignorance and light, falsehood and truth your mind has cleverly accumulated in your body-consciousness and vital consciousness. I wish you to offer to Me all that you have and all that you are. It is integral self-offering which you must make. You will get illumination from Me through the process of purification and self-offering of all that you have. What you have to offer is your beauty-heart. It is the beauty of your own existence within and without, that you offer. The lesser beauty, which you call ignorance, and the higher beauty you have to offer to Me, and in return I will offer you self-illumination.

“This is the game I play with you. It is our illumination-game and never, never, never an examination — far from it! It is a joint illumination.”

From:Sri Chinmoy,Everest-Aspiration, part 3, Agni Press, 1977
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