Question: When I am meditating and I am tired, I feel sick and angry. This experience is quite new to me. What am I doing wrong?
Sri Chinmoy: When you are tired, please try to invoke peace from above or dive deep within to restore peace in your outer life. Peace is the nourishing light in us. When you feel tired, don’t mix with the disciples even if there are important things to do. Just wait and try to replenish your system. Enter into your room and meditate. First fill your inner vessel and then start mixing with others. If you are tired and exhausted and you mix with the disciples, then you will not be able to add anything to their aspiration or help them in any way. You have to become once more energetic and illumined so that you can illumine the other disciples. That is your job, since you are the head of your Centre.
When you are tired and exhausted, the moment you talk to someone you feel that you have nothing to give. So at that time your sincerity is displeased and outwardly it creates anger or frustration. A part of you becomes disgusted or disheartened.
You are the leader of your Centre. Each leader is my representative. From leaders the members always expect inspiration, compassion and all other divine qualities. If the leader cannot supply these qualities, then his own sincerity becomes frustrated. That is why you are becoming exasperated.
From:Sri Chinmoy,Ego and self-complacency, Agni Press, 1977
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/esc