Four intimate friends: insincerity, impurity, doubt and self-indulgence

Part I: Emotion, detachment and attachment

Emotion, detachment and attachment

Now let us think of detachment. Detachment has to be seen in its proper light. If we know the meaning of responsibility, then automatically we will know the meaning of detachment. Who is responsible? Not you or I. Not the outer self or the outer body, but the Divine in us. If we can throw our responsibility sincerely, genuinely and devotedly to the Supreme, to the Divine within us, then automatically we will learn the meaning of detachment.

Detachment does not mean indifference. It does not mean, "I do not belong to him; he does not belong to me. So let me forget him. Let us have no connection with each other." True spiritual detachment comes only when we feel that we have given to the Supreme what we have and what we are. We have friends, children, a husband, a wife, relatives and various belongings. Also we have our own existence: body, vital, mind, heart and soul. If we can offer what we have and what we are at the Feet of the Supreme and say that He is responsible and that it is He who has to look after us, then only can we learn detachment. Otherwise, just by negating and separating ourselves from others' consciousness, we cannot practise detachment. Detachment can be practised only when we feel that the Divine within us is equally responsible for us and for others. Then our inner aspiration will tell us how far to go, where to stop and when to stop in our relationship with others. Our aspiration, if it is sincere, is bound to tell us where the limit of detachment is, because the Supreme is constantly speaking through our aspiration.

When we have a child, we have to take care of the child. We have to bring him up and give him all the necessary things for his existence. During his childhood we have to help him. We have to feel that for a few years the Divine is acting in and through us to help the child. Then, when he grows into a youth, at that time our help must stop. If we go on trying to interfere with his personal life, we are making a mistake. He has to enter into his own world. He has to make direct contact with the Divine and fulfil his own life.

Question: In our daily life, are we supposed to suppress our emotions?

Emotion as such is not bad, but human emotion is unfortunately bad. With our human emotion we possess and are possessed. But divine emotion says, "I am God's child. It is beneath my dignity to surrender myself to ignorance. My Father is all-Light, all-Perfection, all-Love." This emotion comes directly from the inmost recesses of our heart. But the human emotion which we observe or which we are subject to is only lower vital emotion. That emotion we have to transform and illumine. As night has to be transformed into light, so also human emotion has to be transformed into divine emotion.

If we meditate on the positive side, that is to say, on light, then light is going to enter into us. But if we think of night and are always afraid of night, then we are unconsciously entering into the domain of night. Let us all the time think of light, which is, after all, our saviour. Then we are running towards our destined Goal.

Question: I have trouble with emotions and bad thoughts. They attack me and when I try to fight them off, they become stronger.

How will you do it? You will do it through constant aspiration. If you aspire constantly, then your inner being and your outer body will become very strong and powerful. At that time, when the hostile forces attack you, they will feel that they are knocking at the wrong door. But if you give up trying to make yourself stronger, or if you stand against them while you are still weak, then you are making a deplorable mistake. You have to strengthen yourself every day, every hour, every minute.

Question: We usually think that we are attached only to someone we like. But we can also be attached to somebody we dislike. How can we detach ourselves from a person we dislike?

Either way, you have no time to think of yourself. Either you are thinking of your friend or you are thinking of your enemy. But when you are thinking of your friend, it is in a positive way. You are trying to bind that person or you are allowing that person to bind you. You get joy by thinking of that person and you get joy if that person also thinks of you. The negative way means that you want to hurt that person and, at the same time, you do not want to be hurt. You try to hurt the person whom you dislike and, at the same time, you want that person to be silent. You don't want him or her to strike you back. You want to stay on the top of the tree and you want that person to remain at the foot of the tree.

But in both cases you have to know that you are binding the other person and being bound by him. If you want anything from that person on the physical plane, you are only binding him. And that particular person wants something from you, he is also binding you. On the physical plane it is always like that.

But on the spiritual plane we have only a devoted feeling towards someone. It is not attachment; it is only the devoted feeling of oneness, inseparable oneness. When we deal with ordinary people, unaspiring people, it is all attachment. We are binding someone with our desire and that person is binding us with his desire. But a spiritual person, a spiritual Master, we do not bind. Only we are trying to throw ourselves into his vast consciousness, which our soul feels. When we throw ourselves into his boundless consciousness, that means that we are going to be free. At that time we want to be with the Vast, in the Vast and for the Vast. We consciously dive into the Infinite and act with and for the Infinite.

But when we throw ourselves into someone who is unillumined and we want that person to throw his or her existence into us, naturally it is all darkness and limitation. Where there is darkness there is limitation. We are entering into darkness consciously or unconsciously, since the other person is not illumined and also we are not illumined. Two blind persons going together can never show light to each other. Two sick persons in the hospital cannot offer strength to each other.

Part II — Psychic depression and vital depression

Psychic depression and vital depression

We love God, but we are not sure whether God loves us. We pray to God, "Oh God, grant us this, fulfil this desire." But whether or not God loves us remains vague. But we have to start with the feeling that He loves us always infinitely more than we love ourselves. How is it possible for God to love us more than we love ourselves? The answer is that God does not doubt us as we doubt ourselves. One moment we feel that we are very strong, like a great emperor; the next moment we see a red ant and are frightened to death.

Anxiety comes when there is a gap between our existence and God's Existence. Also it comes when we don't claim God as our very own or don't care to say, "I am of God; I am for God." Worries and anxieties will go away only when we identify ourselves with something that has peace, poise, divinity and the feeling of absolute oneness. If we identify ourselves with the Inner Pilot, then we get the strength of His illumining Light. Worries come because we identify ourselves with fear. If we identify ourselves with something divine, eternal and immortal, then naturally the hidden essence and quality of that particular thing will enter into us. By worrying all the time or by thinking undivine thoughts, we will never move towards our goal. We will enter into divinity only by having positive thoughts: "I am of God. I am for God." If we think this, then there can be no worry, no anxiety.

There is psychic depression and there is vital depression. In psychic depression the individual feels that there is so much that God has asked him to do and that God Himself is trying to manifest in and through him; but the world-ignorance is not letting him manifest God. Here you are with friends and your boss is the Supreme. This boss has asked you to do something, and you are trying and He is trying in and through you. But again, there are people around you who are resisting your efforts. They claim God as their Father and He claims them as His children, but they are not receptive to God's Light. Psychic depression occurs when you know what is best and, at the same time, you are helpless. Some of your brothers and sisters who are around you know what is best for them, but they do not want to do it; they do not want to budge an inch. Again, there are some who do not know what is best for them. But you know what is best for you and also for them, and you want to do it; but you are blocked.

You know what the truth is and you want to manifest the truth. But you are helpless because the people around you and before you do not co-operate. The Supreme, or your Inner Pilot, puts pressure on you and you put pressure on yourself, but it does not help. When inner peace and inner light find it difficult to come to the fore the way the Supreme wants, at God's choice Hour, then psychic depression comes.

But vital depression is different. Vital depression comes from the unfulfilled demands of pride, ego and vanity. In this depression, you wanted to do something or you wanted to fulfil some desire, but you did not succeed. You are frustrated; so immediately vital depression comes. Psychic depression is on an infinitely higher level, where your choice and God's choice are one and the same. In vital depression your choice is your desire, and this has nothing to do with God's Will. There is only you and your unfulfilled desire; here God is not involved. In psychic depression you have envisioned God's Vision; God has placed His Vision in front of you, but you are unable to transform His Vision into reality. It is not for the sake of personal gain or for ego that you wanted to succeed. No. You and God have the same aspiration, the same vision, the same goal; but it is not yet manifested. Psychic depression is the result of the unfulfilled Vision of the Supreme in and through you. It is God's Divinity that wants to manifest in and through you, but it is being delayed because the world forces, the ignorance-forces, are standing against you. God and you have become one: one aspiration, one soul, one goal. But God's Vision is not fulfilled. so you have psychic depression.

Question: When something in the world bothers me, I lose all my sincerity and become depressed.

If something wrong has been done, either by you or by somebody else, at that time you have to offer the result immediately to the Supreme. You have to say, "I was helpless, he was helpless. We were attacked by wrong forces. We know that we were attacked and we want to offer our mistake to you." Again, you have to be conscious and wise. Once you discover that you are doing something wrong, you have to stop doing that thing.

Question: What causes depression?

We want constant success, constant progress, constant achievement and fulfilment, but in our daily life we do not get these things. Each moment is an opportunity to grow into more of God's Light, Peace, Bliss and Power. But if we misuse our time, then immediately the negative forces will enter into us. These negative forces are doubt, fear, anxiety, worry and depression.

If we are depressed, we cannot expect more of God's Grace and God's Love; nor can we expect continuous sympathy from humanity. If we are depressed, then a friend of ours may come and console us or sympathise with us; but his consolation will not cut the root of our depression. The only cure for depression is light.

We have to know what we actually want. If we want only light, then we have to know where light is. Light is in our peace of mind, in the tranquillity of our heart. When we unveil our inner peace, we will see that it is all achievement, all fulfilment: infinite achievement and fulfilment in the process of growing into infinite Realisation. If we don't unveil our inner peace, then we are bound to be princes of depression.

Question: Guru, do you ever feel depressed?

Question: Guru, when you see our states of mind and our moods, do you see us as a sort of composite or average of what we were during the day, or do you see us as we are at that moment?

Question: In psychology there's a symptom called manic depression where first of all the person is very lively and gay and then he becomes depressed. Sometimes I've noticed this in disciples because it seems to be part of the human psyche. What can we do to break the cycle?

When we are happy, at that time we are living inside our heart, inside our soul. But we are not satisfied there for more than five minutes. We want to go to the vital, to the mind or to the physical because we get tremendous joy in constant change. So, unconsciously or consciously again we go back to the physical, to the vital and to the mind. Change is good when it is a change from good to better and from better to best. If we are getting a little joy from the heart or from the soul, we try to increase it and intensify it. Then, when we enter into our highest frame of mind, when we are in our soul consciousness, there is no end to our joy.

We have to know what we have in the kitchen and what we have in the meditation room. In the meditation room there are incense, candles and flowers. So here we will get great joy because of our inspiration, because of our sincerity in the spiritual life. Knowing what the meditation room can offer, why do we have to go into the kitchen and get all this confusion? It is because we feel that this place also has joy. But I wish to say that the kitchen is the wrong place to find joy.

Question: If we feel elated or depressed and we don't know the reason for it, can there be an inner reason?

Question: How can I control my moods?

In your case, what actually happens very often is that you feel inferior, which is absurd. You feel that so-and-so is superior to you. If I ask you how many people in the Centre are superior to you, then you will tell me that everybody, everybody is superior. Why do you have to think of them as superior and yourself as inferior? Just think of yourself as my spiritual child, as God's chosen child. Here we are all God's chosen children.

The inferiority complex creates a problem in your life. If somebody writes a poem or speaks to me, then immediately you feel inferior. I am so happy to tell you that in your case it is not jealousy that creates problems. In your case it is an inferior feeling, but that is also undivine. Please feel that it is not your problem whether somebody is superior or inferior to you. Your problem is to make progress for yourself. When you make real progress, at that time you will see that others are also making progress.

Question: How can we have a wonderful meditation one day and then the very next day a terrible one?

Question: What should we do if we are struggling and, at the same time, losing the quality of joy in our lives?

Each individual has to realise within himself what true struggle is. The real struggle for a sincere seeker is to conquer ignorance in his own life and in the world around him. But if he is sincerely struggling to conquer himself, to be the conqueror of his own life, then his very effort is bound to give him joy. If he is sincerely struggling against falsehood, inertia, darkness, imperfection, limitation and bondage, then he is bound to feel a kind of inner joy.

Question: Sometimes I feel much devotion towards you, and at other times I feel very far away from you, almost unspiritual.

This means that at the present stage of your spiritual life you cannot expect the most delicious food every day. You want to eat delicious food every day, but once a week perhaps you get it. But the standard that you want to maintain in the spiritual life will come gradually, gradually. Once you are well-established inwardly, at that time you will feel that I am always your dearest friend. Then afterwards, you will feel that I am part and parcel of your life.

Question: I've been trying to meditate for some months now, but have been troubled by restlessness and depression.

Depression comes for two reasons. The first reason is because of the vital. When you have a good meditation, the ordinary vital — the vital that cries for name, fame and outer achievement — feels that it is not going to be fed any more, that it is going to die. The calmness that meditation brings is like poison to the restless vital. At this point patience is of paramount importance, because patience makes the vital feel that its existence is not being threatened.

There is also another reason why depression starts. The heart brings from the soul the message that you will go very far, that you will reach the ultimate goal in this life or the next. The whole being at that time becomes one with the light that the heart is bringing from the soul. Looking forward, you see that it is all sunshine. But when you examine your present state, you see that it is only dark, inclement weather. Then depression comes. You see a vast gulf between your present situation and the goal, which is quite far. Your possibility contains the highest truth, the highest realisation. But your present reality is totally different! Possibility and reality seem so far apart that naturally depression starts.

Part III — Four intimate friends: Insincerity, impurity, doubt and self-indulgence

Four intimate friends: Insincerity, impurity, doubt and self-indulgence

Insincerity is a durable but curable disease. When the Divine descends, insincerity can be cured. Impurity is a durable but curable disease. In the case of impurity, it lasts for a long time — sometimes for many lifetimes. When an insincere person sees sincere people all around him, he gets inner inspiration and tries to become sincere. He will feel that it is shameful to be insincere when his friends and neighbours are all the time telling the truth. So insincerity at that time can be overcome. But in the case of impurity, it is different. People may practise the inner life, but purity is not an easy thing to achieve. People get experiences and then they lose these experiences. Why? Because they do not have enough purity. The soul is always pure, true. But around the soul the vital creates a veil of impurity. The soul has to consciously throw away this veil of impurity if the individual is going to progress.

Then comes doubt. Doubt is almost an incurable disease. If a seeker is making very fast progress or when he has gone a long way in the spiritual life, even then he may be a victim to doubt. Unless and until one has realised the highest Truth, there is bound to be doubt. Even the great spiritual Master Swami Vivekananda doubted his Master, Sri Ramakrishna. Even when Sri Ramakrishna was on his deathbed, as he was passing behind the curtain of Eternity, Vivekananda doubted him. Then, Sri Ramakrishna had to tell his dearest disciple that he who is Rama and he who is Krishna in one form is Ramakrishna.

I wish to tell you that there are some seekers who have made considerable progress, but now they have entered into the doubt-world. They feel that the spiritual life is not meant for them and that they have wasted their precious energy in the spiritual life. These are the wrong ideas that they sometimes consciously cherish. I always say that doubt is slow poison. The seeker who cherishes doubt will eventually be killed by this slow poison within him.

You are God's chosen child. If God exists, then you have to feel that you also exist. When you go deep within and accept the spiritual life, you have to feel that doubt is the worst thief in your life. It is taking away all your precious inner wealth. Also, doubt is your worst enemy. Why? Because doubt starts doubting itself. Today you doubt someone and tomorrow you are doubting yourself. Today you have come to one conclusion and tomorrow another wave of doubt envelops you. But that does not mean that today's doubt is washed away. No, it has only been replaced by another doubt.

Then comes self-indulgence. Self-indulgence is really and truly an incurable disease in comparison with insincerity, impurity, doubt and other weaknesses, obstacles and negative qualities. Self-indulgence lasts for a long, long, long time. After insincerity goes away, after impurity and doubt go away, you will see that self-indulgence still remains. Either in thought or in action, on the mental plane or on the physical plane, self-indulgence will maintain its abode in the outer consciousness.

After self-indulgence, God is there to forgive us, but when our sincerity and divine dignity come to the fore, at that time we cannot forgive ourselves. How can we achieve the fruit of realisation and liberation when we know that we are so inferior in our physical and vital nature? The inner being is all light, and the power of this light we try to offer to the outer being. But this is most difficult when it comes to self-indulgence, because the present standard of human aspiration is very low. If the seeker in us is not strong enough, then self-indulgence is certainly incurable.

True, by the Grace of the Supreme one day we have to be cured of this self-indulgence. But for that we need tremendous aspiration, constant aspiration, in addition to the divine Grace. It is very easy to say that by the Grace of God everything is possible. That we have heard from every spiritual Master. But this Grace does not come for all and sundry. This Grace comes only for those who really want to bask in its sunshine. If a seeker is prepared to run the fastest and sacrifice what he has and what he is, if at every moment he is ready to give up everything for God, then for him nothing remains incurable.

If you want to run to God, the divine Grace is within you and the divine Grace will operate for you. When you sincerely give up all doubt and impurity, the golden day will dawn when self-indulgence will also be cured. I have not come here to discourage you; it is my business only to encourage you. But while encouraging, with all my heart I have to say that to conquer self-indulgence is something really difficult. I am not throwing cold water on you, but truth is truth. It is the most difficult task in the journey of a spiritual seeker. But the spiritual seeker one day has to conquer self-indulgence, because God will not allow anybody to remain always self-indulgent. God wants perfection from each individual on earth. It is a matter of time, and that time God has chosen for us. But if we cry, we can expedite God's Hour. God is very pleased when the sincere seekers can expedite His choice Hour.

Ordinary people are only playing with words and ideas, reading millions of books and learning the truth by rote. The deeper we go, the clearer it becomes to us that for these seekers, self-indulgence is incurable. Swamis and spiritual Masters we have by the hundreds. But when it comes to the really and truly realised persons on earth, then I wish to say that there are only about a dozen. The world is quite vast, but Mother Earth is blessed with only ten or twelve spiritual Masters who have realised God. Others have gone deep within; they are far more advanced than ordinary seekers. But they are not realised and when it comes to self-indulgence, they will be caught. But those who have really realised the Truth are far above self-indulgence.

Question: Even though I have accepted the spiritual life, I still have doubts. Why is this, Guru?

Question: Sometimes when I am attacked by doubt, my first reaction is that I won't let it enter. But it comes back every five minutes. I want to know what is the best thing to do to put it away permanently.

There are two ways to conquer doubt. When doubt or other negative forces enter into you, you can take it as a monkey which is constantly bothering you. You are praying and meditating, and here a monkey is constantly bothering you. You let the monkey go on and on, because you are patient. There is a competition between your patience and the monkey's mischievous pranks. Just because you are a seeker, you are bound to have more patience than someone who is not aspiring. The monkey is not aspiring, so the monkey's patience can never equal your patience. In this world, as we have an ego, the monkey also has a form of ego. Only you don't see it. If you are not paying any attention to it, the monkey will eventually feel that it is beneath his dignity to bother you again and again. Patience has such capacity to dissolve wrong forces. If you have the capacity to ignore or to constantly reject the negative forces, then they can never win.

There is another way. If doubt enters, you have to think of the antidote for doubt, which is faith. If doubt is entering into your mind, immediately utter the word "faith" and have faith in yourself. Just say, "I am God's daughter; so how can I doubt myself, how can I doubt others, how can I doubt God?" God has become God not by doubting me or by doubting you or by doubting somebody else. He has become God by loving, by becoming one. And oneness comes only from progressive qualities like faith. So this is the evolving or progressive way to conquer doubt.

_Question: Is not the absence of doubt the same thing as unquestioning faith?_

Question: What is the best way for me to conquer doubt?

You are accepting doubt as your friend. You have been with doubt for twenty years, let us say, and you feel that doubt is your real friend; otherwise you would not have stayed with him and he would not have stayed with you. But the moment you see that a better friend is entering into your life, you will not act like a fool. You will say, "Now another friend has come into my life and I see that this friend will take me to a higher goal. Even though I stayed with ignorance for twenty or thirty years, I don't have to stay one second more when I see that somebody else has come who is more illumining, more fulfilling." Immediately you will take that person as your friend.

Your new friends are faith and courage. These two friends have always been beside you; only you have not sided with them. Previously you sided all the time with doubt and fear. Now take them as your past friends, old friends, since your new friends have come. In that way, if you change your friendship, immediately your problem is solved. Otherwise, you will constantly be on the battlefield fighting with your old friends, fear and doubt.

Question: How can one transcend the self-indulgence that interferes with duty?

Part IV — Jealousy and personality conflicts

Question: What is the difference between jealousy and admiration?

Question: I was wondering about jealousy. Sometimes I try to convince myself that it doesn't matter if you show more attention to somebody else but it doesn't work.

Again, since you are a disciple of mine, there is still another way to conquer jealousy which is very easy. Just think, "How can I openly be jealous of that particular person when Guru is in front of me?" Right now you say, "It is happening in my mind, in my own room, and Guru cannot see me. But I tell you, jealousy or any other wrong movement that takes place in my disciples' minds is all being recorded on the golden tablet of your heart. When you are jealous of someone or you are angry with someone, that is all being recorded in your heart. When I meditate early in the morning, if I see a dot on your heart, then I know that it has come from jealousy. When I see another dot, I know that it has come from anger, fear, or doubt. I don't have to watch for three hours, to see if you are jealous of so-and-so. When I meditate on you I will immediately see a dark spot in your heart and I will know.

I am a divine detective. One of the disciples says that whenever he uses two hands I am not there to see him or appreciate him, but whenever he uses only one hand, at that time I catch him. So I told him that I am a divine detective: when you do the right thing I don't have to poke my nose in, because you are doing the right thing and that is what I want. But when you do the wrong thing, that is the time for me to catch you. If I allow you to go on doing the wrong thing, then I will be doing an injustice to your soul.

Question: Guru, one thing that really often ruins my morning and my whole day is very negative feelings against one or two disciples. A few months ago you said to try to think of their divine qualities, but I haven't been able to do it successfully.

If you feel that the bad qualities of these disciples are entering into you, then immediately use two weapons. One weapon is the weapon of compassion. Just say to yourself, "I feel sorry for them because they have such bad qualities." Each quality you can take as a heavy load on their shoulders. Tell yourself, "I am running the fastest, I am reaching my goal, and this poor fellow has a heavy load on his shoulders. I pity him. But again, I don't want to be a fool. I have to reach my goal. When the time comes, he will also reach his goal." In that way you can sympathise with him.

Then, if you want to have another weapon, feel that your time is very limited: "If I am using this second to think of this person or that person, then who is the fool? I am the fool. By thinking of them, I am not reaching my goal. Only I have now established my goal with them. If I am jealous of someone, then instead of running towards the real goal, I am now running towards a new, self-created goal. In my jealousy or in my negative thoughts, I have discovered my new goal."

As I told you before, when we run the fastest we don't look to this side or that side. Early in the morning if you think of another person, you have to know that the person whom you are thinking of is either beside you or behind you or around you, but he is not the goal itself. So if the person whom you are thinking of is not the goal, then you are a fool. You are just wasting your time by thinking of him. If that person is the goal, then you will not be jealous of him because your very aim is to reach the goal and become one with the goal. But naturally that person is not the goal. Otherwise, the frustration, the anger, the jealousy or the outer undivine qualities which have come into you would not have come. The goal will not give you negative, undivine thoughts. The goal will only bring you Peace, Light and Bliss. Since you are not getting these divine qualities from the other person, why should you think of him? Since your aim is to reach the goal and become one with the goal, you are a fool if you have to look at someone or think of someone who is not the goal itself.

Question: How can your spiritual children help one another to overcome jealousy and other undivine qualities?

Question: How can we avoid minor personality conflicts?

There are many who cry outwardly in the Centre just to show off. I offer you my blessings, concern and all that, but I feel inner disgust. Believe me, you cannot deceive me. You are only deceiving yourselves. But many times you people sincerely cry. Yesterday somebody cried and she became the real soul. She was crying with gratitude to the Supreme. So, if you can cry inwardly only once during the day, no matter how many times you have made mistakes or your friends have made mistakes, you can rest assured that this cry has enormous power. Like a magnet, it will pull down God's Compassion. And when God's Compassion-Light comes, immediately the mistake will be illumined.

When it is your own mistake, feel that there is Somebody to forgive you and that is God. He will do it if you can sincerely cry. For name and fame, for so many things, we cry; but when it is a matter of self-enlargement, self-purification, at that time we do not know how to cry. We feel that since we are God's children, God will take care of us. But God does not take care of us in that way. God takes care of us only when we give Him the chance to take care of us. Otherwise, He will take care of us, but we will have to wait for millennia.

Question: What should our attitude be in regard to the competitive spirit?