Question: How can we avoid minor personality conflicts?

Sri Chinmoy: You can avoid them by feeling that the dark spot that you are seeing inside someone else is actually yours. When somebody is attacking you or doing something wrong, if the person is your friend, then immediately try to feel that that ignorant thought or ignorant idea or ignorant action is being done by you and not by your dearest friend. The first thing is to expand your consciousness. If there is something wrong in the cosmic nature, it becomes yours. First you will identify yourself with the doer and feel that you have done the wrong thing. Then what will you do? This wrong movement has to be removed from your nature. How? Through your inner cry. The moment you cry to the Supreme, "O Supreme, I really want to be perfect," the Supreme will illumine this dark spot in your nature.

There are many who cry outwardly in the Centre just to show off. I offer you my blessings, concern and all that, but I feel inner disgust. Believe me, you cannot deceive me. You are only deceiving yourselves. But many times you people sincerely cry. Yesterday somebody cried and she became the real soul. She was crying with gratitude to the Supreme. So, if you can cry inwardly only once during the day, no matter how many times you have made mistakes or your friends have made mistakes, you can rest assured that this cry has enormous power. Like a magnet, it will pull down God's Compassion. And when God's Compassion-Light comes, immediately the mistake will be illumined.

When it is your own mistake, feel that there is Somebody to forgive you and that is God. He will do it if you can sincerely cry. For name and fame, for so many things, we cry; but when it is a matter of self-enlargement, self-purification, at that time we do not know how to cry. We feel that since we are God's children, God will take care of us. But God does not take care of us in that way. God takes care of us only when we give Him the chance to take care of us. Otherwise, He will take care of us, but we will have to wait for millennia.

You can also do something else when minor conflicts arise. Feel that these conflicts are nothing but a very heavy load. When conflicts have started, try to collect them and make a bundle, and then just throw it right into my Transcendental picture. Just throw it. Your conflicts, others' conflicts, all conflicts: just throw them courageously, like a divine soldier. Collect them and throw them. While you are throwing them, you have to feel that you have really thrown them away. Do not feel that they may come up again. No. If you are ready to throw them, I am ready to take them.

From:Sri Chinmoy,Four intimate friends: insincerity, impurity, doubt and self-indulgence, Agni Press, 1977
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/fif