We love God, but we are not sure whether God loves us. We pray to God, "Oh God, grant us this, fulfil this desire." But whether or not God loves us remains vague. But we have to start with the feeling that He loves us always infinitely more than we love ourselves. How is it possible for God to love us more than we love ourselves? The answer is that God does not doubt us as we doubt ourselves. One moment we feel that we are very strong, like a great emperor; the next moment we see a red ant and are frightened to death.
Anxiety comes when there is a gap between our existence and God's Existence. Also it comes when we don't claim God as our very own or don't care to say, "I am of God; I am for God." Worries and anxieties will go away only when we identify ourselves with something that has peace, poise, divinity and the feeling of absolute oneness. If we identify ourselves with the Inner Pilot, then we get the strength of His illumining Light. Worries come because we identify ourselves with fear. If we identify ourselves with something divine, eternal and immortal, then naturally the hidden essence and quality of that particular thing will enter into us. By worrying all the time or by thinking undivine thoughts, we will never move towards our goal. We will enter into divinity only by having positive thoughts: "I am of God. I am for God." If we think this, then there can be no worry, no anxiety.
There is psychic depression and there is vital depression. In psychic depression the individual feels that there is so much that God has asked him to do and that God Himself is trying to manifest in and through him; but the world-ignorance is not letting him manifest God. Here you are with friends and your boss is the Supreme. This boss has asked you to do something, and you are trying and He is trying in and through you. But again, there are people around you who are resisting your efforts. They claim God as their Father and He claims them as His children, but they are not receptive to God's Light. Psychic depression occurs when you know what is best and, at the same time, you are helpless. Some of your brothers and sisters who are around you know what is best for them, but they do not want to do it; they do not want to budge an inch. Again, there are some who do not know what is best for them. But you know what is best for you and also for them, and you want to do it; but you are blocked.
You know what the truth is and you want to manifest the truth. But you are helpless because the people around you and before you do not co-operate. The Supreme, or your Inner Pilot, puts pressure on you and you put pressure on yourself, but it does not help. When inner peace and inner light find it difficult to come to the fore the way the Supreme wants, at God's choice Hour, then psychic depression comes.
But vital depression is different. Vital depression comes from the unfulfilled demands of pride, ego and vanity. In this depression, you wanted to do something or you wanted to fulfil some desire, but you did not succeed. You are frustrated; so immediately vital depression comes. Psychic depression is on an infinitely higher level, where your choice and God's choice are one and the same. In vital depression your choice is your desire, and this has nothing to do with God's Will. There is only you and your unfulfilled desire; here God is not involved. In psychic depression you have envisioned God's Vision; God has placed His Vision in front of you, but you are unable to transform His Vision into reality. It is not for the sake of personal gain or for ego that you wanted to succeed. No. You and God have the same aspiration, the same vision, the same goal; but it is not yet manifested. Psychic depression is the result of the unfulfilled Vision of the Supreme in and through you. It is God's Divinity that wants to manifest in and through you, but it is being delayed because the world forces, the ignorance-forces, are standing against you. God and you have become one: one aspiration, one soul, one goal. But God's Vision is not fulfilled. so you have psychic depression.
The cure for psychic depression is to surrender openly to God's Will. Aspire soulfully and constantly, and then surrender to God's Will. You may soulfully cry and cry, but sometimes after psychic depression enters, you may want to take rest. You feel it is a hopeless case, so the best thing is to give up, to surrender-not to God, but to world-ignorance. Many times it has happened that the individual knows that God and he are one, but when he sees that the Supreme in him is constantly remaining unfulfilled, then he gives up. Many spiritual Masters and many seekers give up. They try together with God, but when they think that it is a hopeless case, they give up. But this is not good. One should never give up. One has to fight to the end. Sooner or later God's Will is bound to be manifested in and through you.From:Sri Chinmoy,Four intimate friends: insincerity, impurity, doubt and self-indulgence, Agni Press, 1977
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