Question: Sometimes when I am meditating I feel that my vital being tries to create a noise in my mind and fill my head with darkness.

Sri Chinmoy: Undoubtedly you will overcome this problem, but what you need is patience. You have just plunged into the spiritual life. When you start studying in kindergarten, you have to realise that it will take you sixteen, eighteen or twenty years to get your Master's degree. If you want your Master's degree right now, how can the teacher give it to you? Right now you have barely started your spiritual journey. You cannot expect to get everything you want from God immediately. God is not indifferent; He simply has His own divine Hour. If you get whatever you want without waiting for the proper hour, without developing your aspiration, you will not value it. If a father gives thousands of dollars to a young child, the child will not use it properly; he will just squander it. In your case also, you are still a beginner, a very young spiritual child. It is the father's concern to do the right thing for the child at the right time. So the Supreme is bound to give you whatever you need at His choice Hour. It may take a few months, it may take a few years, but when the Hour strikes you will get everything from God. If you do not get the things that you want right now, do not lose heart, do not be disappointed and disheartened. Sometimes you become aggressive in your prayer and you try to pull and push. In the spiritual life it is very bad to pull or push beyond your capacity. You just have to do your part in the best way you can and let God do His part in His own Way. Your part is your daily meditation. God's part is to fulfil you, but at His choice Hour. You are doing the right thing by accepting the spiritual life, but you need to develop patience, which is God's Light operating in you. God is only waiting for the right moment in our inner development to shower His infinite Blessings on us. We need patience because we want to get everything done in the twinkling of an eye. But God will only give us what we want when the right moment arrives.

From:Sri Chinmoy,The hunger of darkness and the feast of light, part 2, Agni Press, 1974
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