Sometimes when the soul is receiving peace, light and bliss, it wants to assimilate them. Again, sometimes even before the soul assimilates the qualities, it wants to express them. Now assimilation is always good and expression is also good. In some cases we see that the souls are eager to assimilate and keep something for fifteen or twenty days, or for five days or perhaps just five hours, and then express it. In other cases we see that the soul wants to reveal, manifest and express these qualities immediately, in a day or a few hours' time. If assimilation is not complete, then proper expression is not impossible, but it is very difficult. Again, sometimes it is quite possible to express it.
Today while we were meditating, two people's souls did not want to assimilate. One young man's throat centre, the centre of expression, immediately wanted to express what it received. He very powerfully said, "Now I have got it, and I want to give it to others immediately. He did not try to assimilate at all; he just wanted to express. What his soul did is not bad at all.
Now, in another young man's case, his soul wanted to express something, but his vital came forward, saying, "No, no, no! The best thing is to keep it like a miser who saves his money." He started giving it out, but then he began assimilating instead. The rest of the disciples all assimilated whatever they got from me. Only these two individuals did not want to; they wanted to express what they could, although the second one decided to assimilate at the last minute. Now, this expression can be to others, to the atmosphere or to the universal Consciousness. Sometimes it is like knowledge: the more you give, the more you get. Someone may feel, "Let me read for one hour and give as I receive." Again, someone else may say, "No, let me learn more, and then I will give. Let me read for two hours and afterwards give." It is like knowledge to some extent, but it cannot be compared with human knowledge.
However, if you want to be in a position to give constantly to the world at large, you have to realise God first, assimilate your realisation and then come with a special mission to give to mankind. Otherwise, before realising God, you have only partial light, partial truth. When you try to offer your light and truth, you will think you have a big heart. Instead of saving it to get one hundred dollars, which is your goal, you will say, "Oh, I have got one dollar. Let me give it to mankind." If someone is kind, he will take it from you and think, "He has only one dollar, but he is so generous. Whatever he has he gives." But if you are giving that one good dollar to an undeserving person or to someone who is vitally very strong, impure and obscure, he will just grab it and feel, "No, he is telling a lie. He has more than one dollar." He will act like a thief and say, "You have more money; you are not giving me enough." He will strike you and beat you in the inner world. When you have only one dollar to give, these forces are so strongly tempted. They feel that you have more wealth to give. They try to destroy your potentiality and possibility.From:Sri Chinmoy,The hour of meditation, Agni Press, 1977
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