My Heart-Melody

Question: Could you please tell us the difference between hope and expectation?

When we hope for something but we do not get it, we do not become angry or frustrated, because there is a divine touch there. But with expectation, we use mostly the vital — the hungry vital or the dynamic vital. If we do not get what we want, if our expectation is not fulfilled, we become frustrated, angry and destructive.

Question: In the translation of your song _Bhulite diyona_ it asks that the Supreme not allow you to forget Him either in life or in death. Is it possible to forget the Supreme in the soul's world?

You can make a comparison between when the soul is in the physical on earth and when the soul is not in the physical, in the soul's world. On earth we see only the physical body, vital and mind, but there are also what we call the subtle body, subtle vital, subtle mind and the psychic being, the soul's representative. We expect the subtle beings to be a little better than the physical ones, but sometimes they can be equally useless. The subtle body, vital, mind and heart need preparation, or they can be as useless as the physical body, vital, mind and heart.

Question: Does gratitude cure everything?

Question: What is the difference between imagination and vision?

There is a great difference between inner vision and imagination. Imagination has a reality of its own; it can be very high, very lofty and very deep. Imagination can come from a very, very high realm of consciousness. But the source of vision is infinitely higher than even the highest plane of imagination.

Question: As your disciples, does our aspiration or lack of aspiration affect the general public or people that we will never see?

When you as a seeker maintain your highest aspiration, it definitely helps your near and dear ones. This will not only happen in your own Centre; your aspiration can go and help your brother or sister disciples in a Japanese Centre or somewhere else. That is why I say, if one person is in his highest, it helps his dear ones, no matter where they are. Our dear ones are members of our spiritual family, not only in the same Centre but also in other Centres. The aspiration of an individual, no matter which Centre he or she belongs to, can be of tremendous help to others. Similarly, when something unfortunate happens, immediately it lowers the consciousness of others.

Question: In the song _Bhulite diyona_ there are four aspects of the Supreme mentioned: His Feet, His Eyes, His Message and His Dream. What should we imagine or visualise while we are singing each of those words, and what do we receive from them?

Exercise your imagination-power. If you use your imagination-power, you will be able to visualise His Feet, His Eyes, His Message and His Dream — the Dream that He has in you, in each individual — His own Dream that He wants to manifest in and through you. For each individual he has sown a new Dream. You have to pray to Him to manifest His Dream in you.

When you sing the second part, with utmost humility you have to feel that your body, vital, mind, heart and soul have made their prostration. Imagine that your soul is bowing to the Supreme, followed by your heart, mind, vital and physical. Everything that you have and everything that you are is absolutely at the Feet of the Supreme.

Question: Will our sincerity always tell us whether we are pleasing God in God's own Way?

We have to know where sincerity is coming from. If it is from the heart, then that sincerity will be helped by the soul's illumination. But if it is coming from the mind, the mind's sincerity is not reliable. The mind's sincerity is like an opportunist: I will be sincere to you if you do me a big favour, but if you do not do me a big favour, I am not going to be sincere. Very often mental sincerity acts like a first-class opportunist and the human vital is such a rogue. When the vital comes, it can easily change the mind's ideas, even if the mind has good intentions. The vital can change the feeling of sincerity that the mind has.

Sincerity itself is not enough for us to know if we are pleasing God. Sincerity is the first step. The second step is determination. Every day we can be sincere to ourselves. After having wrong thoughts, we can say, "I have wrong thoughts. I am recognising them; I am acknowledging them; I am making a confession that I have wrong thoughts, undivine thoughts, unhealthy thoughts and unaspiring thoughts. I am so sincere." But that is useless. True, we are behaving far better than others, who will not acknowledge or recognise their wrong thoughts. In our case at least we are ready to admit that we cherish wrong thoughts, undivine thoughts, vital thoughts. But then determination has to come. If determination is not there, you are not going to take the next step.

How many people recognise their wrong actions? Again, how many of those are determined not to repeat those actions? Only if determination comes can you go one step forward. Again, even if determination comes today, you may not be successful in changing your wrong thoughts or wrong actions. How many times does a child fall down before he can walk properly? In the very beginning he is sincerely trying to stand up and walk, but his sincerity is not enough. He needs determination. Otherwise if he falls down, he will give up. Again and again he has to show his determination.

In your case, in everybody's case, sincerity is absolutely necessary. It is of paramount importance, but it is not enough. You need determination as well. And even when you have determination, God's Grace is also necessary. Otherwise, determination itself can come from the vital, not from the psychic being or the soul. Vital determination says, "By hook or by crook, tomorrow I will become a good person." That does not work to transform your actions.

Question: When you see non-seekers, do you see them as being the same as you, as if a part of you is in them, but has been covered with ignorance or darkness?

From the spiritual point of view, you cannot separate darkness from light. God is both darkness and light. But we want the God who is in light, not the other one. Sri Ramakrishna said, "God is in the mad elephant and also in the man who is on top of the mad elephant. Will I listen to the God who is on top, shouting to me to get out of the way, or will I let the elephant destroy me?" Of course, if it is God's Will, the mad elephant will gradually become a docile elephant. It will become good and divine.

Question: How can we best develop the capacity to be able to feel your presence inside our heart as if we are in your physical presence?

Question: Does it actually help the earth-atmosphere when we sing your songs or when you play and sing your music in concerts?

When you see the natural beauty of a tree, you get one kind of feeling. Inside your entire being you feel the Presence of God. But if Christmas lights are on the tree and it is covered with decorations, this gives you joy for a few minutes but that joy does not last. It gives joy to the vital, but it does not touch the very depths of the being.

Occasionally when a musician enters into his soul or his very depths, then his playing is absolutely as good as prayerful and soulful singing. But unfortunately, if I have to be very frank, most of the time that does not happen. I know that as a singer, I am far better than as a musician. When I sing soulfully and devotedly, my voice carries much more divinity than my instruments. My most favourite instrument is the esraj. But even my esraj is no match for my voice.

Still, instrumental music does give us joy. We cannot remain all the time inside the soul or inside the heart. We have to come into the vital. Here I am talking about the dynamic, active vital, not the emotional vital or lower vital. We can feed the dynamic, active and enthusiastic vital with instrumental music. But when we want to get something very, very deep, something that will help us to climb up high, higher, highest, soulful singing is the right thing.

Many, many times I have seen that when people sing very prayerfully and soulfully — not the songs that are fast and lively and give joy to our vital — but songs like Jiban debata or Bhulite diyona, Mother-Earth or the soul of that particular place receives light. Afterwards, that light spreads like a fountain from any part of the world where people are singing soulfully.

The same singers may also be excellent musicians, but usually their voices carry more of their divinity than their instruments do. Again, when some super-excellent musicians play from their own highest and deepest, it is as good as singing. But many times it happens that our restless vital comes forward when we hear instrumental music. At that time music can never be as inspiring as soulful and prayerful singing.

Question: When we disobey you, how can we get rid of the guilt?

I am the last person in God's entire creation to hold anything against anybody. Others can hold things against me to the end of their lives. But I do not want to carry my displeasure and frustration to my grave. Others may carry their anger and frustration with them to their last breath, and even with their last breath they may not forgive humanity. But this is foolish, and I happen to be wise. Again, in my case, if the Supreme wants me to hold my depression, frustration or displeasure, I have to do so. But I do not hold these like ordinary human beings for days and months and years. That is too much. I express my displeasure for a few seconds or a few minutes or a few hours. If the crime is very, very serious, I may hold these things for a few days or weeks, but never for months or years.

Insincere seekers do not suffer if they disobey their Master. After disobeying, they become defiant; then comes betrayal and they are finished! But when disciples who are extremely sincere disobey me, they will suffer deeply unless they can get rid of their guilt by offering me the smile of gratitude. They can offer this smile to me either in the physical, or they can offer it to my transcendental picture. So if you disobey me, then sit in front of my transcendental picture and try to bring forward a smile from your heart, from your mind, from your vital and from your body. Then you will empty the garbage inside you, and also my boundless compassion and boundless affection will come forward. This is how you can get rid of guilt.

Question: How can we maintain the light feeling of soulfulness we get while singing spiritual songs after we have stopped singing?

In the morning you meditate at six o'clock. By nine or ten o'clock you are involved in the hustle and bustle of life. But if you can imagine that the prayer and meditation that you did at six o'clock are still living inside your heart, then you will get the benefit of your prayer and meditation throughout the day.

Question: How can we love the path that we are taking to the Supreme at every moment and maintain a deep respect and gratitude for it?

You gave your heart, your soul and your life to our path; it is your entire spiritual existence. Between your life and our path, between you and your Master, there is an eternal magnetic pull. I am feeling only divine love for you, and you are feeling only divine love for me. Divine love is all oneness. In divine love the Master's heart and the disciple's heart are one. In divine love your heart's cry and the path are one. In divine love you and your Master are one.

There is a great difference between this kind of divine love and ordinary human love. Divine love is bound to grow and glow at every moment. Human love will grow only to burst like a balloon. For a while it will grow and grow, but eventually it will burst into pieces. But love that comes from the soul starts spontaneously and does not stop. And at every moment it gives us tremendous joy. The love that you feel for the Supreme and for the path is like this. It began spontaneously, and it will not stop. At every moment it gives you joy

Human love is like earthly food. If you continue eating earthly food for two or three hours, you will get sick. But divine food we can eat endlessly. Our hunger for human food is finite, but our hunger for divine food is infinite. Divine food is God's Compassion and God's Affection. These are eternal, infinite, immortal. My compassion, concern and affection for you and for humanity are infinite. These divine qualities are not my monopoly. They are everybody's birthright, but everybody does not use them.

Question: How can we willingly throw off our desires?

In the Ramayana, Ravana was the most powerful hostile force, but under him were many lesser hostile forces. The ocean of darkness is like Ravana, and its tiny drops are like all the hostile forces under him. If you enter into the darkness-ocean, you will see that each little drop is trying to devour you and destroy you. At the same time, the commander-in-chief, the darkness-ocean itself, is also trying to destroy you. And for the darkness-ocean to devour you is easier than the easiest.

But if you enter into the ocean of light, you will see that each drop is only trying to feed you. Each tiny drop is like a little child giving you food. The bigger drops are giving you nectar. And the ocean itself, like the mother or father, is feeding you abundantly. So one ocean is trying to kill you and all its children are also trying to kill you. The other ocean is only trying to feed you with affection and love.

Each thought that you have is like a tiny drop in either the ocean of darkness or the ocean of light. If it is an aspiring thought, it is trying to feed you with affection, sweetness and love. If it is a desire-filled thought, it is only trying to bind you, blind you, capture you and devour you. You have to use your wisdom, which is found inside the heart. If you do not have wisdom, then at least use your intelligence, which is inside the mind. Each time a thought comes, observe it with your wisdom or intelligence. Ask yourself, "Is this thought going to bind me or make me free? Does this thought embody purity, humility, sweetness, affection, concern and sympathy, or does it embody all the negative qualities? Is this thought going to help me make progress or stop me from making progress?" The answer has to come directly from you.

Once you decide whether a thought is a good thought or a bad thought, then you have to act. If you see that a thought is good and aspiring, if you see that it is trying to feed you with affection, sweetness and love, then follow it. Good thoughts are like a boat. If you get into this boat, it will carry you down the river of all your good qualities to the ocean of light. But if you see that a particular thought is bad, that it is filled with desire and it is only trying to capture you and devour you, then do not follow it. Just discard it.

Question: How can we detach ourselves from emotions and still have feelings?

Question: Is it good to be detached from people, or is it okay to be attached to them?

You have been offering them your good will and pouring good thoughts into them. But in return, one of them may try to make you insecure or jealous; one of them may show her weakness. So what will you do? You will not throw that person out of your life. Only you will detach yourself from the undivine things that this person is throwing into you. You will say, "Oh, today she has been attacked. That is why she is throwing her undivine qualities into me. Tomorrow, when she is thinking well of me, I may have the same difficulty and do the same thing to her."

Question: How can I increase my self-discipline and will-power?

```

That my Lord is always right

I am right only when

```

There are many unspiritual people in the world who do not believe in God. They do not care about God's Will; they care only for their own will and for the fulfilment of their own desires. They want to be the greatest singer, the greatest dancer, the greatest scholar or the greatest something else. They get determination from the vital world and use that determination to discipline themselves and achieve their goals. But very often, once they are successful and achieve the things that they wanted to achieve, still they are miserable.

Since you are following the spiritual life, you want to obey only God's Will. But first you have to know the Will of God. If you pray and meditate, He will tell you what He wants from you. Outwardly He may tell you through your Master, or inwardly He can tell you by speaking to your heart. Once you know the Will of God, if you are sincerely trying to follow it, discipline will come. It will come from your inner need. If you have an inner need, and if you value that need, the discipline to fulfil it will automatically come. You do not have to use the word “discipline”. Spontaneously you will feel an inner urge to do the needful.

God is not blind. God is not deaf. God is not useless. If you sincerely want to get up at six o'clock in the morning to meditate, He will definitely give you the capacity — even if you just went to bed one hour earlier. If God asks you to do something and you are sincerely trying to listen to Him, definitely He will give you the capacity. It is all a question of your sincerity.

Similarly, when your Master tells you to do something, you have to know that it is because God has asked him to tell you, or because your own soul has asked him to tell you. So when you try to become one with your Master's will and do the right thing or become the right person, the determination or discipline that you need will come from within or from Above.

It was not your idea to form this musical group. I was the one who asked you to form this group, and I was the one who asked you to become good singers and to learn hundreds of songs. Then inwardly I helped you bring forward all your musical talents. In the beginning some of you could not sing at all, but now you have all become excellent singers.

A few minutes ago I asked you to come and sing in front of me. Why? It is because I know what is necessary to increase your love, your devotion, your surrender, your gratitude, your humility and your sweetness. Since you have listened to me, while you were singing I was doing whatever additional things that had to be done inside you to bring forward all your good qualities. The whole time you were singing, I was pouring all my sweetness, affection, love and gratitude into you.

When you were little, you felt, "Guru will do what is best for us." But now that you have grown older, that feeling is gone. Now you feel, "Guru is playing tennis. He is talking to this person and that person. He cannot take care of me, so I have to take care of myself." No, inwardly I can do hundreds and thousands of things at a time. Your love for me and your faith in me should tell you, "My Guru can do many, many things. If I need him, he will always be there to help me."

Question: How can I have compassion?

Before thinking of compassion, you have to think of oneness. If I have knee pain, I put my hand there and feel such concern and compassion for my knee. Why? It is because I feel that my knee is part and parcel of my own existence, and the suffering that my knee is getting I am also feeling inside my heart and inside my mind. My heart, my mind and my knee feel total oneness with one another.

Similarly, if you feel oneness with someone, then compassion comes very, very easily. If someone is suffering, or if someone does something wrong, if you feel that person's suffering as your own, then naturally you will show your sympathetic oneness. And inside that sympathetic oneness, inside your willingness to be part of that person's life, is not only compassion but also all the other divine qualities.

In your particular case, to develop compassion think of your physical father or mother. Your mother has some good qualities that you will not see to the same extent in others. You may not call these qualities compassion, but they come from the feeling of oneness that she has with you. And this feeling of oneness is the source of everything that we call compassion.

A good way to develop compassion is to think of a tree. Although the flowers, leaves and branches are above the ground, they are not looking downward with contempt or a feeling of superiority. The trunk of the tree may be very tall; the flowers, fruits and leaves may all be above us. But when we pass below the tree, the leaves, flowers and fruits say, "Take us; we are ready to be utilised by you." Because of its oneness with us, everything that is good and beautiful that the tree has, it is begging us to take.

Question: To become unconditionally surrendered, should we sleeplessly cry, or should we become sleepless gratitude?

Question: What is the best way to become cheerful and dynamic?

Question: How can I develop more patience?

But if you try to commit spiritual suicide, God will only say, "You stupid girl, I had a Dream in you, with you and for you and now that Dream you have destroyed." God is like a potter. With such Love, Compassion, Enthusiasm, Concern and Care He has made a beautiful porcelain vase. If a monkey or donkey comes along and breaks this vase, God will be furious. Your jealousy, impurity, insecurity and all your negative qualities are like monkeys or donkeys. They get malicious pleasure by destroying God's Dream to make you eternally happy. So you have to be very careful not to identify with these qualities.

The day you joined the path you had only one goal in your mind and in your heart: to make yourself permanently happy. Do not give up that dream. Do not identify with the negative forces inside you and commit spiritual suicide. Every day, every moment, try to revive the dream that you had. Forget how many times you have suffered or how many times you have caused suffering for God, for your soul, for your Master. Only bring back the dream that you started with — to make yourself permanently happy. You know that the only way to make yourself truly happy is by making God happy. If you are trying to make God happy and to please Him in His own Way, then you will try to do the right thing.

Editor's note