Self-indulgence plays a role in all the fears of the outer consciousness. In the inner consciousness, however, there is no self-indulgence; there it is all light. There you see the light and you execute the light. And the power of the light you offer to your outer being.
In comparison to other obstacles, self-indulgence is incurable. And it is certainly incurable if the seeker is not strong enough to fight against it. But this is true only in the case of the ordinary seeker. When a seeker is on the verge of self-realisation, he can be freed from self-indulgence. Otherwise, self-indulgence lasts for a very long time. By the Grace of the Supreme one day you do have to be cured of self-indulgence, but for that you need tremendous and constant aspiration.
It is very easy for us to say, "By the Grace of God everything is possible." This utterance we have heard from our forefathers, from our parents, from every spiritual Master. It is true, but this Grace does not come for all and sundry. This Grace comes only for those who really aspire. When you say that by the Grace of God everything is possible and that nothing is incurable, you have to be very careful to see that you are not merely playing with words.
Self-indulgence is an incurable disease precisely because the standard of human aspiration is so very low. At the present stage, human aspiration is unpardonably low, unforgivably low. God, dealing with infinite Compassion, will forgive us no matter what we do, but we will not forgive ourselves! When our sincerity comes to the fore, when our divine justice comes to the fore, we will not forgive ourselves. How can we receive the truth when we know that we are so imperfect and indulgent in our physical and vital nature? Every seeker must feel that self-indulgence is really an incurable disease unless he is ready to run the fastest and is prepared to sacrifice what he has and what he is at every moment. If he is ready to give up everything for God, then nothing remains incurable.
I am not trying to discourage you; I wish to encourage you with all my heart. But in all frankness I have to say that self-indulgence is something most difficult to conquer. It is the most difficult part of the journey for the spiritual aspirant. But undoubtedly one day it will be conquered, simply because God will not allow anybody to remain self-indulgent. God wants perfection from each individual on earth. It is just a matter of time.From:Sri Chinmoy,The illumination of life-clouds, part 2, Agni Press, 1974
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