Spirituality is everywhere; it is inside us, it is around us. But when it is a matter of real inner manifestation, only a few individuals here on earth have it. I give my disciples the key so that at any moment they can come and open my inner door. Because they are my children there are so many openings, so many doors available to them, and they can come to the Supreme in me through any of these openings, any of these doors. Why should I give someone this key? I give it to him just because I have a little love for that person. But then, through either one window or another, the same person will throw bricks at me. Why? Because he feels I care more for others. He feels I haven't given him God-realisation or infinite Peace, Light and Bliss; I haven't fulfilled his desires. Many times an individual's demands are all vital desires which I cannot fulfil. "I cannot" means "I will not." This kind of disciple desires something from someone and feels that if I ask the person to fulfil this desire, then he will do so. But for me to do this kind of thing, to fulfil this kind of desire, is just like giving poison to that disciple. So these disciples become angry and inwardly strike me. I can handle them because I am the boss of the house. I can easily throw these people out of my house, but my compassion and concern do not allow me.
But after love fails, compassion fails, concern fails, as a last resort I use my indifference-power. After a disciple does something wrong, if I remain blind to his actions, that is my indifference. My indifference is like an atom bomb. If I do become indifferent to someone, that person should feel that his death blow has come in the spiritual life. You have to know that the person more than deserves it. Even then, for a few days I will feel miserable because I have promised the Supreme and the soul of that individual that I will take him as far as possible towards the Goal. But if the person delays his own progress, then what can the Master do? The Master knows that the child must eat, but the child wants to play. Some of my disciples, also, want to play with ignorance and they don't do the right thing; they don't pay the proper attention to the spiritual life. Then, when I become indifferent, my promise is delayed. When these disciples leave the Centre I am not the loser, but my promise to be of real help to their souls is delayed. But the Supreme will never blame me for delaying my promise because He knows that I was more than eager to help these disciples.From:Sri Chinmoy,The Inner Hunger, Agni Press, 1976
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