Now, how can couples aspire if they don't follow the same path? It becomes difficult. You will say that your path is by far the best and your husband will say, "No, it is impossible. My path is best!" There will always be a tug-of-war. You will claim that yours is by far the best and he will claim that his is by far the best, which is absurd. But there comes a time when you make progress. At that time you feel that if he is following another path, that means that he is more satisfied with his path than with your path. And if you follow a path, you have to know that your path is better for you than your husband's path. Now when you make considerable progress in your spiritual life, divine wisdom dawns. At that time you do not enter into competition. If he says that his path is far better, by far the best and no path can be compared with his path, inwardly you may laugh; but outwardly you will have compassion for him. Inwardly also you will have compassion. You will say, "Yes, it is better. It is best for you, but not for me. For me, my path is the best." So when we make considerable progress in the spiritual life, we say, "Yes, you are right. Your path is by far the best for you and my path is by far the best for me."
So let us not quarrel about the path. Only let us think of progress: how fast I can reach my destination with my own aspiration and how fast he can reach his goal with his aspiration. Again, there is no competition, only you have a goal of your own. Actually there is only one goal, but you have selected a particular path, a road. You have to reach your destination, the sooner the better. Why? You know that when you reach the goal it is called God-realisation. But even then the game is not over. Then comes God-revelation, which is more difficult. After God-revelation comes God-manifestation, which is most difficult. So in one goal there are three tasks. First, with utmost aspiration, inner cry, regularity and punctuality, you reach the goal. It is a lifelong task. And then you feel that your task is not over. God will say, "I am glad that you have passed the examination. You have completed your course in one field. But again, there is something more: God-revelation. Then comes God-manifestation." So we cannot waste time. Here we are not competing with anybody else, but we have to feel that we are trying to transcend our own limitation. While following our own path, our own capacity we are transcending, transcending. We are increasing and transcending. If it is ignorance, we are transcending it; if it is knowledge, we are increasing it.
Husband and wife can easily follow the same path. It is like four hands, four eyes, four legs: everything is double. The husband should feel that the wife is dearest to him just because God has made her the dearest to him, and the wife also should feel the same. God should be in between, not as a third person but as the bridge, the connecting link. Always the husband is coming to the wife through God the Bridge and the wife is coming to the husband through God the Bridge. This way God connects them. The golden link is God. He connects both husband and wife. If they follow the same path, then it becomes infinitely easier. But if they do not follow the same path, then my request is not to argue. Neither the husband nor the wife should emphasise his or her own path as the best path. Only say, "Mine is best for me; yours is best for you. Let us not fight. Only let us try to transcend our limitations, let us try to purify our existence, let us try to please God in His own Way." If the husband by following one path wants to please God in God's Way, then he is doing absolutely the right thing. Similarly, if the wife is following her own path and she feels the necessity of pleasing God, which is absolutely necessary in every path, then she is also doing the right thing.
In my path, in everybody's path, God comes first. That doesn't mean that we have to discard the husband or the wife. It is a matter of choice. Between husband and God, God has to come first. Between wife and God, God has to come first. That doesn't mean that God is asking you to get rid of your husband or to get rid of your wife, far from it. But if necessity demands that you make a choice, if your husband or your wife is not allowing you to fulfil your inner cry, at that time you have to know who comes first: God. In this incarnation you have got someone as a partner for your life. But who knows what connection you had? Perhaps you had practically no connection with that person in a previous incarnation. Who knows what will happen to him or to you in your future incarnations? But with God, your connection is eternal. He brought you into the world. After seventy or eighty years you will leave this body. Then again, after some time you will come back. At that time, who knows who will be your lifelong partner? But the eternal Partner is God. So we have to establish our oneness with Him, since we know it is He who is our eternal husband, eternal wife.
Again, temporarily, on the way, if God wants to unite two souls as husband and wife, well and good. But if there is any conflict, if the wife is standing in the way of the husband's spiritual progress or vice versa, then what will God say? Will He say, "You stay together. I shall wait for you for Eternity"? No. He will say that whoever is ready should run to Him. God is our eternal Father, my Father, your Father, everybody's Father. Now if one child is ready, if one child is more than prepared to run and the other child wants to sleep, will God say, "No, since both of you are brothers, you should sleep as long as the other one"? No. He will say, "You are up; now go to school, inner school. You are sleeping, so you continue to sleep. When the time comes, you will get up." He will not ask the one who is more advanced or more illumined to wait for the other one. For him, God is ready to wait. If one is not awakened, God is there to wait. But God will not ask the other one to wait for him. God will say, "You are awakened. You run towards Me. It is I who am awakened inside you. You come towards Me and reach Me, your Goal. The other person is My responsibility." God will say that it is His problem to take care of the other person, not ours.From:Sri Chinmoy,Inner progress and satisfaction-life, Agni Press, 1977
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