I thank You

I thank You¹

I thank You, O my Beloved Supreme, because You have given me the fruitful capacity to love You only.

I thank you, O my wise soul, because you know who I eternally am. I am a God-lover. I am a God-server.

I thank you, O my aspiring heart, because you love me.

I thank you, O my searching mind, because you think of me.

I thank you, O my dynamic vital, because you struggle for me.

I thank you, O my conscious body, because you suffer for me.

I thank you, O Earth, because you have given me patience-light. Because of patience-light I still exist on Earth.

I thank you, O Heaven, because you have given me promise-delight. My promise-delight is to manifest God unconditionally.

I thank you, O India, because in you, India, I achieved the beauty of God-Realisation.

I thank you, O America, because in you, America, I am entrusted with the duty of God-Manifestation.

I thank you, O East, because I am one of your God-worshipping flowers.

I thank you, O West, because I am one of your man-nourishing fruits.

I thank you all, O my seeker-friends, because in me you see a simple instrument of God.

I thank you all, O my seeker-friends, because in you I see the living Presence of my Beloved Supreme.

I thank you, O my dear friends, because you inspire me to bring to the fore my good and divine qualities.

Finally, I thank myself, because I am all gratitude, within and without.

The Red Cross²

The Red Cross is all over the world and it has only one purpose: to be one with the suffering humanity. Wherever there is suffering, the Red Cross is there to be of service to the suffering humanity. For that I am very, very grateful to you, the devoted representatives of the Red Cross and very, very proud of the Red Cross.

Plays based on my stories³

Again, some people perform plays using absolutely one hundred per cent my words and I understand them perfectly.

The Eskimos⁴

Long live Canada! I did see Eskimos in Canada, in Montreal or Quebec.

My friend Mr. Gruber⁵

For some reason I asked Mr. Gruber, “Is your father alive?”

He said, “Oh, no!”

Since he himself was over eighty, I said, “What kind of question am I asking you?”

Then he said, “Have you heard the name ‘Hitler’?”

I said, “Yes!”

“He took very nice care of my father.”

Mr. Gruber invited me to watch him ice skating in Manhattan. There was a very small skating rink and I went to watch him. Can you imagine, he was over eighty and how smart he was! I was admiring him immensely!

Mr. Gruber took me to a poetry reading inside a restaurant in Manhattan. The name of the restaurant was Cervantes. People were drinking and smoking and from time to time some poets would stand up and recite their poems. I also stood up. I did not eat anything or drink anything. I had brought with me three or four poems and I stood up to read my poems.

One lady was very kind. She liked my poems. She invited me to come to her place with Mr. Gruber on a Sunday, so we went there. At that time I brought ten or twelve poems to read out. She liked them and appreciated them.

At least one lady was kind enough to appreciate my poems! Mine were spiritual poems. When the other poets were reading out their poems, I did not understand a word they were saying! Perhaps they also did not understand my poems.

My neighbour on 149th Street⁶

The husband was extremely, extremely fond of me. His love and admiration for me was too much for his wife. One day he became so furious with her because she was not in favour of me. He said, “Today I was very upset with her!” After that incident, she also became my great admirer.

When he died, I went to his wake. For the first time I met with his eldest son. The son was very, very nice to me. I asked him what kind of work he was doing and he said that he was a travel agent. I said, “We can take help from you for our Christmas Trip.”

We did take help from him, but nothing worked out. Our luggage did not arrive. Such unhappy experiences we had. He did not want to offer any compensation. On the contrary, he said many unkind things.

I said, “All right, we shall have nothing more to do with you.” I hoped that the story was all finished.

A few months later he brought two baskets of fruits, one after the other, to my house and he asked me for forgiveness for his behaviour. He said, “How much love my father had for you, how much respect he had! What have I done? What have I said to you? Please forgive me.”

Their house has changed hands many times. Some disciples thought that our Centre could buy that house. Quite unexpectedly, the old man’s soul appeared before me, with such love and affection. I was not meditating at the time. He said, “Never, never, never buy this house! Never buy this house! I do not want you to buy this house! It is no good, no good! I do not want you to buy it!” From the soul’s world he gave me the message. I did not have any particular inner connection with his soul, but the soul came up to me and said, “No, no — never, never!”

So much love the old man had for me.

So many experiences⁷

Each and every place we visit, we enjoy. Each country has something unique to offer us. Is there any country that we did not enjoy?

In Egypt I enjoyed boating on the Nile River. I was able to climb up two pyramids. In the evening they look so nice! It was very, very difficult. I was almost crawling, perhaps.

So many experiences we had. Ambassador Nazareth came to Egypt and we honoured him. He was my boss at the Indian Consulate for five or six months. Ambassador Nazareth is the one who said, “In a forest there are many, many trees, but one tree goes so high — high, higher, highest. That particular tree sheds light and illumines the whole forest. This is Sri Chinmoy.” Who ever thought that a junior clerk at the Indian Consulate would become a tall, taller, tallest tree shedding so much light?

During those four or five months when he worked at the Consulate, Ambassador Nazareth used to walk so quickly and so smartly! His wife’s name is Isabel. They were so nice, extremely nice to us.

My dearest Mr. Mehrotra saved my life! Everything he did for me, because he saw something in my eyes. All the requirements he discarded: I did not need degrees, I did not need other qualifications, because as soon as he saw me, when I stood in front of his door, he saw something in my eyes. Then he became my saviour. Now he is my dearer than the dearest brother. And Ambassador Nazareth saw me as a huge tree. These are my two Consulate bosses.

We met with Fred Lebow of the New York Road Runners Club in Egypt. He was very, very nice to us. With Fred Lebow we established such a good friendship. For three or four years the Road Runners Club used to hold a spring track meet called the New York Games, with races of 100 metres or 200 metres. Each year I would open the Games with a meditation. One year Fred Lebow was kind enough to wait for me to arrive so that I could open the Games. Then Sudhahota Carl Lewis sang the national anthem while I meditated. That was all Fred Lebow’s doing. Fred Lebow went to Heaven. It was a great loss for us. Then we found our own way and started running our own marathon.

It was in Rome, I think, that I received the Fred Lebow Cup, presented by the organisers of the Rome Marathon in his honour. That was absolutely the largest trophy.

One year I remember I joined one of Fred Lebow’s walking races. Even in those days my right knee was not straight enough, so my style was not good. Fred Lebow saw it, but he was my friend, so he did not say anything to me. He just said that I was not walking properly.

Behind me was my dearest Subarata. Although my knee was bad I was going quite fast, but it seems that Subarata was doing something wrong. They said that the judges would give one warning. In my case, the judge did not tell me anything; he just observed me. Then he disqualified me and I was out of the race. Twenty or thirty metres behind me was Subarata. I was so happy to see her! Alas, when she came to the place where I had been disqualified, she also was disqualified! I said, “What is this?” She was walking absolutely perfectly. I did not see anything wrong. In my own case, God alone knows what I was doing; but poor Subarata was also out of the race. I was so sad that, like me, Subarata was also fired! Both of us were out.

When we had races around the lake at Rockland State Park, where we now have our marathon, Subarata always used to try be four or five metres behind me.

Coming back to Fred Lebow, our very first meeting was in the famous Flushing Meadows Park. There was a short race and I went to watch. I was standing at a particular place. Fred Lebow was digging or doing something in the ground. All of a sudden he came up to me and said, “Are you Sri Chinmoy?”

I said, “Yes, I am Sri Chinmoy.”

He smiled at me and shook hands with me, with such affection and love. I knew nothing about him. The disciples told me that he was the head of the New York Road Runners Club and the New York City Marathon. That was Fred Lebow.

Pir Vilayat Khan⁸

There were twenty or thirty religious leaders present and in front of all the religious leaders, with three hundred people in the audience, Pir Vilayat Khan said that his wife should come and be blessed by me. This was Pir Vilayat Khan.

How much they loved India!⁹

Finally Prime Minister Indira Gandhi saved her. She did a very good thing. She was the one who said, “Anywhere in India you can go with a free ticket. You do not have to pay.” She could not fly first class or business class; she had to travel in economy class. But at least she could fly. I am so grateful to Indira Gandhi for saving Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa had some enemies. In her book she wrote that she thought love could conquer everything, but eventually she saw that love could not conquer everything.

Some people do not suffer much before they become well known throughout the length and breadth of the world. But in the case of Mother Teresa, her suffering was simply unimaginable. How much she loved India and how much she suffered!

The same thing happened with Sister Nivedita. How much they both loved India! And they suffered so much.

At least in Mother Teresa’s case, she got appreciation and it lasted for a long time. In the evening of her life she got name, fame, appreciation and admiration from Indians. But poor Sister Nivedita got all her appreciation after her passing. She said, "I am not in politics. I only mix with people and bring news about how to save the country, to save my India." She brought information to Sri Aurobindo also. She used to mix with the English people and get secret information to help India. She said, “Mine is not the so-called politics. Mine is a service to Mother India.” Sad experiences she got everywhere, although she gave tremendous service to India.

Sister Nivedita wrote a book about her Master, Swami Vivekananda, and Sri Aurobindo said, “Her own blood she used to write the book.” Sri Aurobindo had such appreciation for that book, The Master As I Saw Him.

An Irish lady did so much for India! Her father knew what she would do. On his deathbed he said to his wife, “When the time comes, do not prevent her from doing what she would like to do.”

At what time life changes for the better, we do not know. In Ireland, before she came to India, Sister Nivedita’s boyfriend had a serious car accident and he died. Immediately she turned towards God. Some say that if her boyfriend had not died, God knows whether she would have taken to the spiritual life. I do not believe it! When the time comes for the spiritual life, a boyfriend or girlfriend is not important. When the time arrived, Sister Nivedita accepted the spiritual life.

Sister Nivedita helped so many great Indian figures. When they were about to be arrested by the British, she would go and tell them. When Sri Aurobindo was about to be arrested for a second time, immediately she came and warned him. For a few months she was editing Sri Aurobindo’s newspaper. She copied Sri Aurobindo’s style so that the British Government would not suspect anything.

A very dear friend at the United Nations¹⁰

I never knew that one of our disciples used to drive this gentleman from his place in Brooklyn to our Friday night monthly meetings in Queens. After the meditation, the disciple would drive him all the way back to Brooklyn. This disciple had been doing selfless service for him for many years and they became very, very good friends. The man gave his disciple-friend also a considerable amount of money. The disciple said, “Oh, no, no, I cannot accept it.” His friend said, “You have to take it, you have to take it!” So the disciple accepted the money from his friend and then he gave it to me as a love-offering.

My disciple gave outer service to this gentleman. Every month he used to drive his friend. In my case, it was all inner service. How could a non-disciple bless me with a large love-offering for my inner service? He has been a very, very good friend. Now I shall encourage him to come once a month to our meditations with his son.

We devoured each other with smiles¹¹

Both of them are very nice. I will lift both of them together. Then they can tell the President that I am strong! The President is bringing two of his sons. They are eighteen and nineteen years old. Who knows what will happen? If the President wants to be lifted, I will lift him.

Innocence incarnate¹²

When I go near my room, two of them will come running to open the door. I say, "I have the key,” but they insist on opening the door for me. They are so kind, so polite. Their English is good, but they are very soft-spoken.

On a moonlit night in Venezuela¹³

From the moon I got the message that this disciple would leave our path. I said to myself, “My God! How can it be? He is all love, all devotion.” He was giving us so much joy with his cello playing. At that time there was no question of his leaving our path. But the moon was right. Before long he left us. The moon gave me the message.

It happened in Venezuela, when we were singing on a moonlit night.

The most difficult subject¹⁴

Disobedience

Spiritual death-cancer.

¹⁵

How often God blesses me with the task of dealing with the most, most difficult subject. The name of that subject is cancer. In season and out of season, on this side or that side, there is cancer.

My physical mother died of goitre. In an Indian village it was so serious, but the Western world does not take it seriously; it is just a deficiency of iodine. Anybody can be cured. Now, all the time we hear about cancer, cancer, cancer. I can tell so many stories about cancer.

God wants to be successful in and through some cancer patients and in other cases He does not want to be successful. But when the God-lover is on earth, he has an earthly body, a human body. When God sees the suffering of the patients, on the one hand I am sure He suffers infinitely more than I do; but on the other hand, He is far beyond, far beyond. Unfortunately, that “far beyond” is not within my easy reach.

One question for God¹⁶

Learn and unlearn¹⁷

Learn this and unlearn everything that you know!

Stopping the rain¹⁸

The second or third time it was during our play about the Lord Buddha, Siddhartha Becomes the Buddha, when the third UN Secretary-General, U Thant, was our guest of honour.

Another time, I was about to start painting a big, big canvas. The rain was descending, but I looked up into the sky and stopped it. The main assistant of one of my dearest friends was watching. At times he became my real critic. On this occasion I said to him, “God is so kind! There was no rain after all. It was about to rain heavily.”

He looked at me and said, "I know you had something to do with it. You did have something to do with it — I know!”

Like that, many, many times I have stopped the rain.

During the last few weeks I had to use occult power on various occasions. They were all serious, serious, serious.

If you misuse occult power, you lose everything. Do not misuse occult power.

Born actors and actresses¹⁹

Your Master once forgot his line in a play. At the age of four or five, he had one line and he got frightened. Here I see little, little children performing. How many lines they can learn by heart! My children have made me so proud of their capacities.

How I painted!²⁰

The Ambassador’s wife’s name was Sushila. She was a very good friend of one of my sponsors who helped me come to America, Ann Harrison.

That was a very beautiful painting. How I painted in those days! The sponge was so good. Look at my agility!

An experience at Dal Lake in Kashmir²²

There were many boats. I chose the boat called New York. Some little children were sailing in the tinier than the tiniest dinghy. They were selling lotuses. They asked me for money, so I gave them money. Instead of giving me a lotus, they just disappeared in their tiny raft. This is deception!

A few days later I went to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. My two sisters, Lily and Arpita, were sitting on the floor. I sat on my cot and I sang this song for the first time. I got the inspiration and the words at Dal Lake, but I set the words to music in our family’s house at the Ashram in Pondicherry. It is difficult, but it is a beautiful song!

Ei jibaner mahanander halo aji puta bhor

Asha sindhur parapare heri turiya dhamer tari

Today the hallowed hour of Highest Delight has dawned in this life.

Darkness no more, darkness nowhere.

Boat of the Transcendental Realm.

And its surrender is made in the deepest

At the feet of my inner sun.

My words, their melodies²⁴

The words to this song are mine, but the melody is by him. Only the first stanza I remember. There are at least twelve stanzas. If ever I can find the whole song, you will be able to learn it. This was a song that was sung by Dilip Roy at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram playground.

Sri Chinmoy sings:

Chal chalre o bhai chal

Peyechi amara mayer ashish amrita sahasra bal...

I can say that at the Ashram, in front of the Mother and eight hundred or one thousand people, this song was sung.

Another song of mine we sang at the farewell of our German coach. The Mother gave him the name Saumitra. His German name was Werner Haubrich. Many stories I have told about him. For his farewell I composed that song and we all sang it, all the athletes. While we were singing the song, his eyes were streaming with tears. That song another day I shall sing. These are the two songs of mine that we sang in front of the Mother.

This second melody is also not mine. The words are mine, but the melody is from somebody who was very, very dear to me. He wanted to give me an old bicycle of his. Alas, the Mother said, “No!” Then, two days later, I received a bicycle from the Mother, almost brand-new. His bicycle was very old.

This dear friend was from Chittagong. He was a great singer. His eldest son was extremely, extremely devoted to me. He went to Germany. There he studied and he got married to a German girl. Once he was riding a motorcycle. His wife was sitting behind him. They had an accident and this dearest brother-friend of mine immediately went to God. Nothing happened to his wife, but alas, he died instantly. Luckily they did not have children.

The father was a very close friend of ours and his whole family was close to us. They were very affectionate to us. His sister was fifteen or twenty years younger than me. Believe it or not, when she was very young, I taught her French for a few months. She was a very good student. Now she has become a professor and a college or university has sent her to Texas. From there she wrote to me that I must go and see her; she cannot come and see me. Alas, I could not obey her command!

Our Pujaloy²⁵

“The human in me loves God out of fear,

And I love God because He is my only All.”

²⁶

This is the prayer I have given to Minati for Pujaloy.

Our German Pujaloy will be one day one of the wonders of the spiritual world.

I give so much importance to encouragement

In my weightlifting world, my gratitude goes to my Mahasamrat Bill Pearl. My disciples have done so much, but boundless encouragement I received from Mahasamrat. Before that, I knew nothing about weightlifting and I disliked weightlifting.

In my poetry-world I received such encouragement from my Bengali teacher, Prabhakar. From others also I got encouragement, but he was the one who encouraged me in my Bengali poetry-world. In English I got encouragement from somebody else. His name was Romen.

Encouragement! If you can encourage others wholeheartedly, then you can become something. You need encouragement and they also need encouragement.

In my song-world, right from the beginning I give my sister all the credit. She encouraged me. She taught me when I was practically an infant. And here in America, in the West, how much all of you have encouraged me! If you had not encouraged me, I could never have composed over twelve thousand Bengali songs and seven thousand English songs — never, never! These achievements are all due to encouragement, encouragement.

When children get encouragement from their parents, they become so successful in their life. Always we shall try to encourage others. You encourage others and they will encourage you. It is mutual. Encouragement is absolutely needed.

So many poets, so many writers, so many artists gave up their creations because of discouragement, discouragement, discouragement. Again, if one can continue in spite of being discouraged, then one can become successful.

If you become great²⁷

When somebody very high-ranking acknowledges or appreciates your creation, then it is very, very easy for you to go forward. What did Gandhi know about singing? Perhaps he knew practically nothing about singing. But Gandhi was such an important person. If he said, “This person is a great singer, a very great singer," everybody would quote him. Perhaps some qualified singers, excellent singers, found it difficult to appreciate that singer. But Mahatma Gandhi’s comment everybody quoted. In comparison, the comments of the qualified singers had no value. If you become great, you can say anything on any subject! People will quote you.

There are many subjects about which great people may not know anything. They never studied music, or they never studied art, let us say. But if they say something about music or art to their admirers, their admirers will quote it. Perhaps it is stupidity on their part and flattery on their admirers’ part. They go together. If a comment comes from an important person, the whole world remembers it. In the case of others who are quite qualified, who know their subject so well, it may happen that nobody cares for their comments. If you become great, you can open your mouth and everybody accepts what you say. And if you are not great, you can say anything you want to say, but nobody pays any attention. This is life!

Remarks at the home of the Ramamoorthy family

The Peace Corps²⁹

Prime Ministers of Nepal

Our concert in Philadelphia

Purushottama

An invitation from Baltimore

The highest award

We have received nice letters of encouragement from previous Prime Ministers of India. The present Prime Minister I like very much because he is an admirer of Sri Aurobindo.³⁰ When he became Prime Minister, he kept on his desk only Sri Aurobindo’s picture — no pictures of political figures. I saw the video on television.

When the time comes

Back to Chittagong

I went to see where we had our bank and so many other places. The hotel manager went with me. He would not allow me to go alone. Only when I went to see my village, he said it was safe. In the village there were two Ghose families. I went to the first one, but it was the wrong place. When I came to the second one, I was absolutely sure. I asked someone, but that person did not know my family. Believe me, my father was quite well known!

The inhabitants were wearing the Muslim lungi, so I was hesitating. I said to myself, “How can it be? These are my cousins. How can they be wearing the Muslim lungi?” I thought I had come to the wrong place, so I started going away. Then I mentioned my father’s name. Immediately, the lady of the house came up to me and fell at my feet. Still I felt that they had to prove it. I said to myself, “How do I know that this is our house?” They took me into a room. There they had kept so many pictures.

It was my desire to have some kind of monument in honour of my parents. My cousins were so happy and excited. They showed me a particular place where I could put a monument.

I went back to Pondicherry. Alas, my sister Lily was against the idea of a monument and my brother Chitta was also against it. Only Mantu did not mind; he was wide open. I said to myself, “What shall I do? I made a promise to my cousins.” Fortunately, I have good contact with the other world. I approached my mother and father in Heaven. They also were against it. Lily, Chitta, my mother and my father were all against having a monument. Why? It started with Lily. She said, “We shall not claim you any more. We shall not claim you — the world will claim you.” They all said that now I am a world-property, so they did not want a monument in our village.

I said, "I have so many disciples. They will come to see the monument and they will get such joy.”

They said, “No, America is now your home, not Chittagong.” They did not allow me to have a monument. My relatives in Chittagong felt very sad.

Then again, at the entrance of our little house in Pondicherry, my name is there. I have given that house to my dearest brother-friend Baburam. He gave me the money to come to America. I said to him, “Now, you take the house.”

One of our Indian disciples recently went to Pondicherry and Baburam’s family welcomed him. The disciple was so happy to see the marble plaque with the name “Chinmoy.”

The day before yesterday, Baburam called me just to chat. We talked and talked and talked. I said to him, “Are you going to keep my name on the house?”

He said, “Do I not know who you are?”

They will keep my name there. Baburam’s daughter Rama said that they will welcome people who come to visit Pondicherry. My name will be there, but in Chittagong there will be no monument to my parents.

East Shakpura! In size, it is smaller than Briarwood. Still, there is East Shakpura, West Shakpura and Middle Shakpura.

Governors of Pondicherry

Prime Ministers of India

My first meeting was with Prime Minister Morarji Desai.³² We talked about the Bhagavad Gita and he was very nice.

Once when I was travelling to a particular country, they said that I did not need a visa, so I did not have one. But when I arrived, they would not allow me to enter the country. I never carry any credentials with me. I had only a newspaper. In that newspaper was a photograph of me with Morarji Desai. I showed it to the official and he said, “Oh, your Prime Minister!” Then I did not need a visa.

Very briefly we saw Indira Gandhi in New York. The disciples were singing for her.

Narasimha Rao said such nice things at the United Nations.³³ Afterwards we became very close.

Prime Minister Vajpayee was very, very nice.³⁴ I met him in Bali.

Inner guards

Sri Chinmoy: Sometimes the guards know that the divine victory is going to take place. When something seems absolutely certain, one may become relaxed. If a person in authority says that definitely he is going to do something divine, then what more can one do? Sometimes, unfortunately, I do not tell my inner guards what is happening.

The Nobel Prize

About twenty years ago, my brother used to take some of my books to Nolini, my former boss at the Ashram. Nolini said, "I am absolutely certain that Chinmoy will one day get the Nobel Prize for Literature, but not now. This is not the right time.” This was Nolini’s prediction.

Appreciation comes and goes

Sri Aurobindo and Tagore were very, very close. When Sri Aurobindo was in the vortex of politics, Tagore said, “He is the soul of India. All of India will listen to him.” He wrote two pages of most prophetic utterances.

After some time, Tagore came to see Sri Aurobindo in Pondicherry. They spent half an hour or more together. Then again Tagore said such nice things about Sri Aurobindo. He said that Sri Aurobindo had won his soul. Later, alas, their followers could not appreciate each other.

In the beginning, Tagore used to write to Gandhi. Tagore was the first one to declare Gandhi a great soul. Tagore was the one who called him “Mahatma.” And Mahatma called Tagore “Gurudev.” Tagore became Gandhi’s Gurudev and then everybody started calling him Gurudev, Gurudev. They became so close.

In the evening of Tagore’s life, his Shantiniketan was in need of money. When he was seventy-eight years old, Tagore wanted to dance in order to make money. Gandhi said, “No, you do not have to do that.” Gandhi had so many rich supporters. He gave money to Tagore. Like that, so many times Gandhi helped Tagore financially. Again, when Gandhi said that he would fast unto death if Jawaharlal Nehru did not listen to him, Tagore begged him to stop fasting. Gandhi did listen to him.

In the very evening of their lives, Gandhi and Tagore could not see eye to eye. I read six or seven of their letters. Previously, so sweetly, so highly they were appreciating each other. But in the very evening of their lives, there was no reconciliation.

Tagore and Swami Vivekananda were very close friends. Swami Vivekananda used to go to Tagore’s place. But when Swami Vivekananda became world-famous, their friendship ended. Then the songs that Swami Vivekananda learnt at Tagore’s place he could no longer appreciate.

Three people in my life from Goa

At the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, one of the main pillars was also named Pinto. His wife was in charge of opening the main Ashram doors.

When friendship ends

Sri Aurobindo’s brother was so close to him, but his brother left the Ashram.

Friendship does not last. Perhaps this message has come down from Heaven. This is the saddest story in my Indian life. One man was very wealthy. His family ran a business. They used to sell Indian ghee. He and his assistant were dearer than the dearest to each other. You have never seen such friendship! They were so devoted to each other. Everybody said, “How dear they are, how close they are to each other!”

My friend Hriday Prasad

When I returned to Pondicherry to visit the Ashram, I had to go to one friend’s place four times, only to say hello to him. He was in his room, but his servant would say, “He is not at home.” I could see that he was home! The servant was talking to him, but she would come to me to say that my friend was not at home. He did not want to see me, perhaps because I was no longer an ashramite and he thought that I had descended. Previously he was my dearest friend, my great admirer, but now he only wanted to see me through my window. Again, sometimes the shutters of my place were closed. Then he felt miserable, because he could not see me through the window. Four times I went to that friend’s place to see him. Previously he was so devoted to me.

The last time I said to myself, “Now, let him tell lies; I will go up.” I went up to his room. I wanted to sing for him two songs, the songs that I sing about the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. He was unwilling to hear my songs on the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. He said that there were other people in the house and I would disturb them.

What a painful experience! But I did not listen to him. Quietly I sang the songs in his room. Still nothing was happening. Then I said to myself, “This is too much for me. What can I do?” I left his room. I never expected him to follow me.

He did follow me and at the main gate I saw that he burst into tears. At the very last moment, he was crying, crying and crying a river of tears. That was Hriday Prasad. Next to Baburam he was my dearest friend.

When Mantu’s physical condition became serious, Hriday Prasad went to see Mantu. At one point when I called Mantu from New York, Hriday Prasad was there. I said, "I would like to speak to Hriday Prasad,” and he was so happy to speak to me.

In the case of Krishna Bhagaban, I lost him as a friend because he saw my occult power. It was too much for him. He said that I wanted to kill him with my eyes. You do not have to show occult power to lose friends. Other friends also I lost. This friend, Hriday Prasad, had been my great admirer, but later he was only eager to see my shadow in my own window. His house was very near mine. He waited for me to open the window so that he could see me. Finally he followed me, followed me, followed me to the main gate of the Ashram.

During my Ashram years, Hriday Prasad used to get tremendous joy by massaging my feet and my head. In those days I was already losing hair. They say that if you use lime juice to massage your head, you can solve this problem. I would be seated. With such devotion - devotion is the right word — he would stand behind me. That was the right time for Lord Krishna to come and see me, face to face! I was seated on my chair. Hriday Prasad was massaging me and he could not see Lord Krishna. God knows what language Sri Krishna and I were speaking. Both of us were talking. Hriday Prasad heard me, but he did not understand a single word. For about ten minutes or so, I was face to face with Lord Krishna while sitting on my chair and this fellow was massaging my head. I did not tell my friend to stop massaging my head, because I know how much love Sri Krishna has for me, no matter what I do. If somebody is massaging my feet, Sri Krishna will not mind. That kind of connection I have with Lord Krishna.

This boy who was massaging me was the same fellow who would not see me in later years. Our friendship was all over. Such a painful, painful experience! But again, he did believe me implicitly in those days. Such admiration he used to have for me.

Friends, friends! Once, while I was looking at the moon with a friend, Sri Ramakrishna was blessing me and talking to me. My friend could not see him and he did not hear anything. But Hriday Prasad did hear. He was hearing my voice, but he could not see Lord Krishna. Such friendship we enjoyed! He was such an admirer of mine. He was massaging and massaging my head with lime juice.

These stories are not my fabrication; they are not cock-and-bull stories in my life. This was Hriday Prasad.

Problems in the spiritual world

Ramana Maharshi had a lady disciple who was married. Ramana Maharshi’s mother suffered so much because that lady used to put food in front of Ramana Maharshi. Ramana Maharshi was in trance; he was not in this world. One day, the mother became angry with her son. She left his place and said that she would not come back. She walked only two hundred metres. Then, what did she see? Her son, in his subtle body, stood in front of her so powerfully. Her son showed his spirituality. Then she knew that Ramana Maharshi was God-realised and she came back to her son. Previously she had scolded and insulted her son, but then she came back. Ramana Maharshi had that problem.

Sri Ramakrishna’s wife used to cook for him for years and years. At one point Sri Ramakrishna decided to examine his wife. Sarada Devi would cook, but he said that the food had to be brought to him by somebody else. Sri Ramakrishna would not allow Sarada Devi to bring him the food. Somebody else would bring him the tray and then Sri Ramakrishna would eat. She suffered so much.

Only when He pleases us

Ambassador Siddhartha Shankar Ray

Politics and politicians

Where is God?³⁵

I wrote an article many, many years ago entitled, “Where Is God?” In that article I gave all my “grievances” against God.

Ramana Maharshi said that movement is God. Then what was Ramana Maharshi’s answer to the question, “Is there a static God?” One is a dynamic God, in dynamic action. God is both action and inaction. In our philosophy we accept that God is both action and inaction. When He is the Doer, He is the work, He is everything.

Visiting Ramana Maharshi's Ashram

The second time I was working for Nolini. Next to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo at the Ashram was Nolini. I had to be at his place by nine o’clock and again at two o’clock and he depended on me. I very nicely told my family members that I had received permission from the Mother to go to Ramana Maharshi’s place. What a wonderful story! Nolini did not believe it. Nobody believed me. I went to Ramana Maharshi’s place and then I came back. The following morning, my heart started palpitating. About forty selected people were supposed to go and visit the Mother at that time. Nolini did not say even a word. I was typing. Then Nolini came to me and said, “Mother is waiting for you.” Nobody else was there! I had to face the Mother. What a story I had told! I was at that time twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old.

I was standing two steps away from the Mother. She said, “So, I gave you permission?” She gave me an affectionate slap. Then she made a circle. She said, “You will not be able to go out of this boundary.” She wanted me to stay in Pondicherry only. It was three or four years later that I came out of the boundary, but she stood against it. She said she would not allow me to go to America. But inside me God said, “Go, go, go.” Nolini was simply furious! Inwardly, Amrita, the Manager of the Ashram, was for me. Outwardly he said, “Do not go,” but inwardly he said, “Go, go, go.” When there is eagerness, when the desire is so strong, that desire has the sanction from within.

On my last day in India, the Mother would not look at my face. One day before my departure, I was able to see her.

The third time I went to Ramana Maharshi’s place, they really liked me and they honoured me. Mantu also went there.

Eggnog for the Mother

Dyuman came to the Ashram with his wife. He was nineteen years old and his wife was sixteen or seventeen years old. They came to enjoy their honeymoon at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. That was the right place! They thought that they would come there and become spiritual. Dyuman wanted to stay in the Ashram. Sri Aurobindo said, "I will accept you, but not your wife.” The wife cried and cried and she became so upset with Sri Aurobindo. Dyuman did not want to go back to Gujarat. He stayed at the Ashram and became dearer than the dearest. He was the one who used to write to me on the Mother’s behalf. He was very nice.

Six or seven items I used to send to the Mother from America. Dyuman told me that, three hours before she left the body, the Mother took eggnog that I had sent. The eggnog powder was a yellowish colour. In the container there was some powder left. Dyuman said to me, “You take it.” I said, “No, no, I know your devotion to the Mother and your love for the Mother. Please take it.” He kept that eggnog powder.

Amrita's connection with Sri Aurobindo

Amrita went to Sri Aurobindo’s Samadhi every day for three months to pray to Sri Aurobindo to take him to the other world. He did not get any response from Sri Aurobindo at the Samadhi.

One day he came at two o’clock and meditated. He prayed to Sri Aurobindo. On that day Sri Aurobindo sanctioned his request. He said, “Yes, I will take you.” Amrita’s two nieces, Saroja and Kumuda, were in the office. There were others also. Amrita came and told his friends, relatives and these two girls, “Chief has listened to my prayer. Tomorrow I will go to him.” Everybody laughed. Nobody took him seriously. But he said that he had received the message from the Samadhi that Sri Aurobindo would take him to the other world the next day.

Departure sanctioned

One day when he was quite old, at around three o’clock in the afternoon he said to his friends, "Tomorrow you will not see me here.” Nothing was wrong with him.

His friends said, “What?”

He said, "I will speak to Chief.” They never used the name “Sri Aurobindo” — they always called him “Chief” or something like that. "I will speak to him tonight and I am sure he will take me.” Amrita had received a message from Sri Aurobindo that Sri Aurobindo sanctioned his departure. This man also meditated on Sri Aurobindo and Sri Aurobindo said that he would take him to the other world. When he told his friends, everybody laughed and laughed. He was lying down in his easy chair. He said, “All right, you will see tomorrow. Tomorrow after three o’clock, early in the morning, I will not be in the physical.”

When the time came, some curious people went upstairs to his room to see. Alas, he was no more. He did not take any kind of drug. He did not commit suicide. He was just lying down and he was gone.

That kind of connection Amrita and this man had with Sri Aurobindo. They knew that they would be able to contact Sri Aurobindo.

In Amrita’s case, it took three months or so. He was praying to Sri Aurobindo, but Sri Aurobindo did not listen to him. After three months, Sri Aurobindo listened to his prayers. He told everyone in his office that the next day he would be gone. At one-thirty in the morning, there was the sound of one cough. Nolini came to see him and he was gone. Amrita did not want to live on earth any more. He was satisfied, satisfied, satisfied.

In the second case, curious people came down to see whether the man was alive. They were planning to make fun of him, but he was gone.

Visiting the Ashram

Then to Amrita’s place I went. Everyone stood up and started clapping, showing me such affection. They were so fond of me.

The very last time I went to Nolini’s place, alas, alas, in his bedroom there was a television and a computer and all kinds of modern things. That was where I used to offer my worshipful service to Nolini.

I went to Amrita’s room. I used to work in his bedroom. I would write the Mother’s name. The name “The Mother” the bank would not accept, so under her signature I wrote, “Madame M. Alfassa, Madame M. Alfassa, Madame M. Alfassa.” The bank accepted it. Nowadays if you write “The Mother” on a cheque, the commercial bank and the state bank gladly accept it. But at that time I had to write “Madame M. Alfassa.” Then they would accept the cheques. Her signature alone they would not accept.

Coming back to the point, I went to see Amrita’s bedroom and I cried. It was full of big boxes. Some were opened and some were not opened. Nolini’s room was modern and in Amrita’s room there were all kinds of big boxes. I cried and I cried. Not only I, but all the ashramites, two thousand people, used to admire and adore Nolini and Amrita. Such a close connection they had with Sri Aurobindo. They were so close to Sri Aurobindo, both Nolini and Amrita.

The man who is now in charge of Amrita’s room has moved to a new place, a small place. We were very close friends. His name is Kalipada. He was Amrita’s assistant and I was Nolini’s assistant. There were four or five workers when I went to Amrita’s room. I looked at one of them and said, “Please tell me, where is Kalipada?” He looked at me and said, “Chinmoy, you cannot recognise me?” Then he made me see who he was. With such affection he spoke to me. Before, I could not recognise him. This was Amrita’s assistant.

Everything is completely changed.

With my brother I went to the playground, where I had been a champion runner. The man in charge would not allow me to take a picture of the playground. My brother was shocked. I lived for two years by the side of the playground, fifty metres away. The man said that I had not taken permission from Pranab, who is the director of physical education. Pranab is so close to me! This man said that I had to get written permission from Pranab to take pictures of the playground, where I used to run. Then I went to Pranab’s assistant, who is very close to me. He will now become the director of sports. His name is Gangadhar. He wrote, “Chinmoy can take pictures any time,” and Pranab signed it.

Again, there was kindness. I went to stand in line to see Sri Aurobindo’s room. They said one could not go to Sri Aurobindo’s room without the written permission of one person, Bansidhar. I went to him for his written permission. He said, “You need written permission? Go, go! Let me see who can stop you!”

Two or three boys came up to me and said, “Chinmoy, you do not have to stand in line.” It was a big line. I went to the front and said to the man who was in charge, the head guard, “Bansidhar has not given me written permission. What am I going to do?” He just grabbed me and brought me into Sri Aurobindo’s room!

There were a few people there. With folded hands I was looking with such devotion. One of the guards inside the room opened up my palm and put some flowers in it, because I had not brought any flowers. Then again I wanted to go into my highest consciousness, but in a few seconds another guard came up. He had to put flowers in my hand because the other guard had done it!

Then another man came up to me and said, “Sit down here. Meditate as long as you want to.”

I said, "I cannot sit.”

He said, “Oh, you are a big shot! Then stand. Go and stand there and meditate as long as you want.”

One of the guards saw me meditating and others came to know that I was meditating in Sri Aurobindo’s room. Such nice treatment I got! How much affection they have for me!

There are always two sides. One person would not allow me to take still pictures in the playground. He would not allow it, because it was a rule! Again, in Sri Aurobindo’s room they showed me such affection.

Use occult power, lose friends

The Pondicherry High School used to have a boxing competition. I said, "I am not going to participate."

He was a boxer. He said, “You have to join! Just throw one punch.” I said that with one punch he would have been able to take me to God and then I would not have to do sports!

He laughed and he did not insist that I compete in boxing.

He was the friend who criticised all spiritual figures. He said, “Nobody has occult power — nobody! They are all fake!”

I said, “Do not say ‘all’. Some do have occult power.” He would not listen.

I said, “Come tomorrow morning. Then I shall show you.” He was a wrestler, stronger than the strongest. I met him in the international library. I said, “Stand here, against the wall.” I thought that, in case something happened, he would fall against the wall and there would not be any problem.

I used a little occult power. I think it took three seconds or four seconds. Alas, instead of falling against the wall, he fell on me, on the ground. For a minute or two he was unconscious, or God knows what happened. Then he stood up and said, “Rascal!” Two blocks he went running to tell Pranab his story.

Previously he was such a great admirer of mine and for him I was Chinmoy-da. Now I was no longer Chinmoy-da. He said to Pranab, “Chinmoy wanted to kill me!”

Pranab said, “How could he? You are so strong!” Krishna said, “No, no, he wanted to kill me!”

Pranab asked, “What? How? Did he have a gun?”

“No.”

“Did he have a knife? What did he have?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

Pranab asked, “Then how could he kill you?”

Pranab was there with Gangadhar, who was going to be the future sports director. There were so many other people in the office. Then Krishna said that it was my eyes: I wanted to kill him with my eyes. I did not have a gun, I did not have a knife — nothing, nothing! My eyes were enough. “With his eyes, he wanted to kill me,” Krishna said.

Everybody laughed. About a month later I went there and they were telling that story. It was like an amusement park. They said, “Chinmoy, show us your eyes!”

I said, “You can see my eyes, you can see my eyes! These are the eyes that Krishna Bhagaban saw. There is nothing, absolutely nothing in my eyes.”

They asked, “Why did it happen?”

Over the years I went to the Ashram quite a few times. When Krishna saw me in the street, he practically used to run away. He would not look at me. This was how I lost his friendship. Eventually he left the Ashram.

Use occult power, misuse occult power

A great occultist came to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and hundreds of ashramites went to see him. He would look at your forehead or read your palm and he would be able to say things about you. Then you would pay some money. My dearest friend Baburam went to see him. Everyone was very satisfied, because he was a great occultist. Then my dearest Baburam started begging and begging me to go and see this man. Hundreds of people would be going. It would be a big event. I said, "I will not go, I will not go. I do not need to meet with this yogi-occultist.”

At Baburam’s repeated request, finally I did go. He was so nice to me, so I said I would go in order to please him. I stood in a very long line only to please my dearest friend. I think a hundred people were ahead of me. Baburam was right behind me. The occultist was sitting in a small room. They kept the door a little open. The occultist would read your head or your palm.

Finally my turn came. As soon as the door opened, the occultist stood up. He said, "I had occult power. I had it, I had it, but I have lost it all to drinking and women.” He said this in front of me! He stood up and said that by drinking and by mixing with women he had lost his occult power. My friend was behind me. Again I wish to say that, if you misuse occult power, you can lose it.

This fellow was an occultist and he pleased so many people. One day he decided he would walk on water at six o’clock in the morning. Thousands of people thronged to see him. They were all eager. As soon as he started to walk, he sank. Then he started blaming the sun. He said that the sun did not help him. These are my cock-and-bull stories!

Here in New York there is a fellow who said that he walked on water. He showed photographs. He is a joker!

My father wrote to his cousin saying that he would be responsible for his cousin’s business and would meet with all his expenses. This particular cousin was a rogue who misused all his funds. He was trying to take advantage of my father’s kind and generous offer. Finally there was a court case. From our village it went to the Chittagong High Court. It was the last day. My father’s postcard to his cousin was with the lawyer. My distant uncle was a yogi and a great occultist. My mother had tremendous devotion for that uncle. He was very close to our family and he lived about three miles away. My mother went to his place crying. He sent a courier saying, “Nothing will happen. I will do something.”

In the court, the lawyer was so happy because my father’s signature was on the postcard. He brought the postcard to show the judge that my father was responsible for his cousin, because he had promised that he would give him money. Even that morning the lawyer had been so thrilled to see my father’s signature. But when he showed the postcard to the judge, there was no signature. All the words were there, but my father’s signature was missing! It was done in a Chittagong village, three miles away from our place. We won the case. Then the judge asked my father to write something. My father was smart — he signed his name in a totally different way.

How can you deny occult power?

And what happened in the court? My father had a friend. My mother used to cook and do everything for my father’s dearest friend. He went with my father to the court. Then he changed his mind: he took the side of my father’s enemy.

Soon afterwards this man died. Look at my father! This man’s son was completing high school and his daughter was in college. My father paid for both of them, the son and the daughter, to finish their studies. My mother was dead against it, but my father said, “What can you do?”

Not interested in becoming a Guru

He went to Calcutta and there he had disciples who were so devoted to him. When he left the body, they begged and forced his wife, who had never prayed and never meditated, to become their spiritual mother. She did not care for the spiritual life. She said, "I am the wrong person.” But they said, “No, we shall only worship you.” They had been practising spirituality and they started worshipping her. She had never practised spirituality, but she became their Guru.

There is another story like this. A great professor came to India from England. The president of a university invited him to a gathering. As soon as he saw the president’s wife, the professor felt that she was God-realised. She had never prayed, but he started worshipping this great soul. What an embarrassment! She was a housewife who did not pray and meditate at all. The president saw that the professor was very sincere and he himself started worshipping his wife. The professor was far advanced. Finally the wife started praying and meditating and she became his Guru.

This professor came to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. His Indian name was Krishna Prem. Sri Aurobindo said that his third eye was open. The president’s wife never prayed, never meditated, but he saw her divinity.

Like that, my uncle’s wife did not pray. She did not want to pray or meditate, but his disciples forced her to accept them. They brought her to Calcutta. Then she became their Guru.

Successful on the fourth attempt

When you go very high

This is forgetfulness. It is quite difficult! I forgot my name so many times and I had to go and ask my friends. But they were so kind to me. They were full of admiration. Again, my notebook saved me two or three times by showing me my name.

Four or five times I came out of the house with one sandal on and one foot bare, walking very nicely. My friends asked me, “What is this?” Then I had to go home to get the other sandal.

Another time I ate at the Ashram dining hall. There was a place where we had to leave our dirty plates. After finishing eating, I left the dining hall and entered into a park across the street, while still holding my tray. A friend said, “What are you doing here?” Then I went back to return my tray.

So difficult to touch this earth-consciousness

Once in Canada I gave a concert and my consciousness went so high. The concert was over, but I could not come back to the earth-consciousness. I said to myself, “How am I going to come back?” I looked to the side and I saw Kanan. I placed my hand on Kanan’s shoulder and immediately I came back to this world. Before that, absolutely I could not come down. It was so difficult to touch this earth-consciousness. Then I saw Kanan and Kanan saved me. Immediately I came back. Sri Ramakrishna had that problem quite a few times.

Stopping the heartbeat

Shyama Charan Lahiri was something! He stopped his heart. One of his disciples was a doctor. The disciple said, “It is clear that he is not alive.” Then Lahiri smiled at him and said, “Look, this is your medical science! Now feel my pulse.” The doctor did not find any pulse. Lahiri said, “Now look,” and he smiled at his disciple.

One particular tree is still alive in the park where I used to go to meditate. That was where I told my friend, “Do not say that all spiritual people are fake if they say that they have occult power.” I have taken so many pictures of that tree. Each time I go to Pondicherry, I take a picture of that huge tree in the main park in front of the Governor’s palace. During my Ashram days I sat there. At that time I could sit very easily. From time to time, not every day, I used to go and sit at the foot of the tree to pray and meditate. One day I saw some cars and rickshaws only thirty or forty metres away in the street. I got a peculiar idea. I said, “Indian yogis all say that they can stop their heartbeat at their sweet will. Let me examine myself and see if I can do that.” I cannot remember how old I was. I saw that my heartbeat completely stopped. I had at that time a stopwatch that I used for running. Believe me, I did it! I did stop my heartbeat.

Nowadays, every time I go to Pondicherry I sit at the foot of that tree and I ask my rickshaw driver to take my picture. I know what I did at that place. The last time I could not sit, so I stood at the foot of the tree.

I requested the driver to take my picture. Why? Because there, at that particular tree, I did something. It was not a trick and I was quite successful. I know why I am still so attached to that tree.

I did it once again when I returned to the tree. I used only thirty per cent of my capacity and it was not for as long as I did it the first time. The first time I was examining myself to see if I did have that capacity. The second time I stopped my heartbeat for a very short time. All these things I did.

Taking my soul outside of my body

Requests for help

Some spiritual Masters request me to help their disciples. Those spiritual Masters are in Heaven and I am on earth. They beg me to help their disciples because they feel that I will be more effective on earth, since I am in the physical. That is so true.

So many times it has happened that other Masters have begged me to go and help their disciples. I do help them and they do not even know it. They do not see me. They see their own Master, not me. I am an instrument, but I hide. Then they are so grateful to their Master. Their love, devotion and surrender increase tremendously because still they have their direct connection with their Master. Their direct connection goes through me.

Many years ago, when I was working at the Indian Consulate, a spiritual Master came to me. He was very displeased with his disciples. His request was that I should go and take care of his ashram. I said, "I cannot do that.”

I went to Vancouver. At that time a lady from Jamaica, West Indies, was head of our Victoria Centre. That lady came to see me. A disciple prepared food. Then, on the inner plane, a spiritual Master of the highest order came to see me. We were about to eat. The spiritual Master wanted to tell me something. I said to him, “Now I have to eat.” For ten minutes he pleaded with me in the inner world to take over his ashram. It was in another state, not New York. He said that he would help me in every way. How he pleaded with me! He said that he would help me and he would give me his occult power and spiritual power. I said, "I have enough occult power and spiritual power. I do not need any more.” He was very displeased with me, because I did not listen to his request. But in so many cases I did listen to the requests of other spiritual Masters.

Taking away occult power

Sri Ramakrishna also did that, for an individual’s own good. One fellow used to show light in his back while walking at night. Sri Ramakrishna took away that power. Then the occultist became absolutely furious. Sri Ramakrishna said, “For your good, for your good I have done it. Now perhaps you will pray to God.”

God-realisation in six months

Showing occult power in my family

It was almost evening. Eight hundred metres away from our house was a paddy field. The farmers were still working. I said to my brother, “Please come with me.”

He asked me, “What for?” He was still upset with me.

I said, "I will show you something.”

“What is it?”

I said, “Some farmers are still working and I will show you how I can transform one farmer into a lamb. Then I will again transform him back to a farmer. He will not die or suffer any injury.”

My brother scolded me and insulted me. Then he said, “You have studied occult power?”

I said, "I have not studied any book.” Then I remembered that our Indian almanac predicted what time it would rain and I told my brother. He said, “You can squeeze the almanac; there is no rain there.”

I said, "I have not studied from a book. Please come.”

How different everyone's fate!

Biren's vision

One night when I was in America, many hostile forces attacked Biren. They literally wanted to kill him. He was not thinking of them, but suddenly they came and they wanted to kill him. This is a cock-and-bull story! He saw me in my most luminous form and he said that I was Gorakshanath. As soon as the hostile forces heard the name “Gorakshanath,” they all disappeared.

This cock-and-bull story never ends! Biren came at around five-thirty to my sister’s place, because he had been saved after seeing my luminous form. Then he said, “Do you know who Madal is?”

Chitta said, “Who is Madal?”

My friend said, “Madal is Gorakshanath.” He narrated the whole story.

Then my brother Hriday said, “You know now, but I knew it long ago. One day during my highest meditation, I saw that Madal was Gorakshanath.”

My sister said, “If you knew, then why did you not tell us? Why did you not tell us?” Everyone laughed and laughed.

My eldest brother! I could have shown my occult power to my eldest brother, but he would not believe me. I said, "I never read any books about occult power. I never cared for occult power. I cared for the Upanishads. I liked the Upanishads.” I wanted to show him that I was studying! He did not come to see my occult power; he just said that I did not have that power.

Two or three times my brother wanted to leave the Ashram and Biren stopped him. He was like a mentor to our family. He always saved us, saved us. When the Mother passed away over thirty years ago, I had my picture taken with him. He kept the picture.

My way of praying and meditating

I visited you occultly³⁶

Negative things can happen repeatedly. One after another they can come. One sad experience is not enough. It may happen that that sad experience is immediately followed by another one that is worse.

Somebody was seated in the hospital with you in the subtle body! I visited you in the hospital a few times, occultly. I still have that kind of love for you. Forever I will have love for you and my gratitude to you will always remain. New York and Bali are physically very far from each other, but your connection with me is very deep. When the soul-connection is so powerful, at that time there is no such thing as New York or Bali.

Songs about Mother Kali

My connection with Sri Aurobindo

There is a miracle connected with that song. A few years ago I was in Pondicherry, in the Ashram. It was one o’clock in the morning. A piece of glass entered into my foot and I was suffering badly. My sister Lily was in the hospital and Chitta was downstairs. I said to myself, “How can I tell him what has happened?”

A very peculiar idea entered into my mind. Inwardly I said to Sri Aurobindo, "I am not going to sing my song for you any more unless you take out the piece of glass from my foot. So devotedly I sing that song and so devotedly people listen, but I am determined not to sing it any more if you do not cure me!”

This was all taking place in the inner world. I did not see Sri Aurobindo at all.

Then I said, “Tomorrow morning when I get up, there should be no piece of glass inside my foot.”

It was around one o’clock and I was supposed to get up at four o’clock, but all of a sudden I was compelled to get up. I literally jumped up. Believe it or not, the piece of glass was gone, completely gone! I came back to my bed and whom did I see on my table? Sri Aurobindo! This moment he was laughing; the next moment he was smiling. Here I had promised, I had taken an oath that I would never sing my song for Sri Aurobindo if the glass remained in my foot the next morning. It took only fifteen minutes! Will I ever forget that experience with Sri Aurobindo? This is my connection with Sri Aurobindo. Our connection is still quite strong. If he had not cared for me, he would have ignored me. He could have said, “Who cares if you do not sing my song?” But he did not do that. In fifteen minutes the miracle took place. The piece of glass went away. And Sri Aurobindo was smiling and laughing on my table. Such is his affection, such is his love, such is his concern.

My immediate attention³⁷

Ten or twelve years ago, from your family, somebody’s soul came up to me for immediate attention. You will not believe it. It was around eleven o’clock at night. I cannot tell you the reason why the soul came. The soul expressed the wish for my immediate attention — “immediate” is the right word. I was able to be of service to that soul, with such affection, love and joy. That individual does not know about it and I cannot tell that individual. The soul came because it needed my immediate attention. Very distinctly I remember it. Outwardly the individual may not know, but the soul knows. That family member was in serious danger.

Blessings from my elders

At the end of Durga Puja, always we had to touch the feet of our superiors, even if somebody was only one or two years older. In my case, I had a cousin who was younger than me. She was the only one who touched my feet. Others’ feet I had to touch. At the Ashram, I used to touch only the Mother’s feet and Nolini’s feet. Nolini’s feet I touched on very special occasions, on his birthday and my birthday. In the Mother’s case, very devotedly I used to place my head on her feet.

My eldest brother, about whom I was telling stories, blessed me so many times. Then, when I became a Guru, the same brother would not allow me to touch his feet. He would not allow me even to bow to him. He would not place his hand on my head; my shoulder was enough for him. How many times I had to touch the feet of my aunt, who died at the age of 103. In later years, the same aunt would not touch my head and she would not allow me to bow to her. I would just bend my head a little. She would grab my hand and say, “Bless me, bless me.” How the story changed!

My brother's last prophecy

Touching a spiritual Master

One boy at the Ashram was eight or nine years old. His mother told him that the Divine Mother was far beyond suffering and she felt no pain. The following day he went to the Mother while she was giving blessings. He said to himself, “My mother said that the Divine Mother is beyond, beyond, beyond pain.” He wanted to examine the Mother, so he pinched her very hard. The Mother screamed. He did not know why. He said, “My mother told me that you are beyond pain.”

My sister's affection³⁸

I was young-the youngest and the proudest! My pride always touched the ceiling and beyond. Very powerfully I massaged her eyes. Then she became completely blind!

My other sister and the rest of my family — specially my aunt, who died at the age of 103 — scolded and insulted me so ruthlessly. But the sufferer, my eldest sister, was all kindness and compassion to me. She said, “He meant well, poor fellow. What can you do, what can you do?”

For three days she could not see anything. Then my family wanted to take her to the hospital. At that time my inner capacity I wanted to show. I said, "I will cure her.” Very, very gently for a few minutes I touched her eyes. Then she got back her vision completely. It was better than before!

When pride is involved, you get zero. But when you pray to the Supreme and bring forward your inner capacity, then you get extraordinary results.

Here is a cock-and-bull story. Two weeks ago I developed throat pain. I had a burning sensation in the throat, plus fever. From Heaven, everybody in my physical family came and saw me. It was not serious at all, but for two weeks my eldest sister’s soul did not leave me. She was all concern for my throat pain and my fever. The fever went and then it came back for three or four hours. Again it went away and again it came back. Finally the fever did not come back. The day before yesterday my eldest sister said goodbye to me. She said she did not have to worry anymore because my fever and sore throat were completely gone. This was the sister who suffered because of her eye problems. She still has the same kind of affection for me. For two weeks she did not leave me; she was only watching over me.

Nowadays also my family has such concern for me.

Disobedience: Time is up!³⁹

I am sure there will be some people who will definitely derive tremendous benefit from this book. They do not have to be my disciples — far from it! I am convinced that, for the absolutely sincere seekers, this particular book will play a most significant role in their aspiration and their dedication.

There will be some books written by Sri Chinmoy that are destined to be immortal and this book is one of those. There will be millions of people on earth who will be absolutely sincere seekers. When they get this book, they will derive measureless inspiration and aspiration for their perfection. If they really want to be the choicest instruments of God, this book will be of immense help. It will be invaluable to them.

Editor's notes

Cover photo and photo on page vi by Shraddha were taken at the Thanksgiving Concert where Sri Chinmoy gave the title talk.

Bird drawings by Sri Chinmoy

Copyright ® 2014 Sri Chinmoy Centre