If you stick to faith, you will see that inside faith, reality is growing. But if you say, "Oh, I thought that inside that person was the Supreme; but then he got angry with me or he could not understand me or console me," then you are only killing your own faith. Do not bring in ideas; faith does not need any ideas. Proof and ideas go together. In faith there are no ideas; there is only spontaneous reality. In ordinary human life, we go from ideas to the result. I have an idea about someone. I think that he is a nice person. Then, when I talk to him, he is nice, he is kind to me. So that is the result. First I formulated the idea and then I expected a certain result. But when it is a matter of divine faith, we don't need any ideas; we don't expect any results. Faith comes from a higher reality. The man of faith is a man of higher reality. When you have faith in someone, it means that a portion of your being has been kindled by that person or has some inner connection with that person, or your own reality is making you feel that there is some higher reality in that other person which is ready and eager to be of help to you.
So, if you want to see the Supreme in me, do not care for proof. Only care for faith. Every moment you have to ask yourself, "Do I have faith in the Supreme in my Guru?" If you say, "I can have faith in him provided tomorrow morning he gives me a broad smile or says something nice about me," then this is not real faith. These 'ifs' are only a way of trying to justify your faith with proof. If you say, "I will have faith in him, but first I have to see whether he speaks ill of me or whether he cares for me," then that kind of faith depends on the result. But real faith does not depend on any result. Faith itself is the result. Faith is the result of your aspiration and God's Grace.
Some specific result from faith you are not going to get, no. It is from the reasoning mind that you get a specific result, and this result eventually frustrates you. But faith is not like that. Faith is joy. To have faith in someone itself is joy. The aim of life is to have joy, and this joy you are getting from faith. But the reasoning mind and proof do not give any joy. They may convince the eyes, but then sincerity comes forward and you feel sad. You will say, "Oh, I had to judge him in order to justify my faith. I had to wait to get the proof. I am such a fool." But when you are wise, you say, "I don't need judgement, I don't need proof. Let me adopt only one thing to be happy. Let me start my journey with faith and then I won't need anything else."
So, if you have faith in me, you are bound to see the Supreme in me and also you will feel that your Supreme and my Supreme are absolutely one. You have not yet seen Him, whereas I have seen Him; that is the difference between you and me. There is only one Supreme, only you have not seen Him. That is why, with your imagination, you may say that He is very tall, that He is an old man or something else. But when you see Him, you will say that my Supreme and your Supreme cannot be two different beings. Again, you have to know that your conception of the Supreme is right for you at this stage. Only you have to start with the faith that inside your Guru is the Supreme whom you need, the Supreme who should come first in your life.
First things first. If I come first in your life, I will not take away your husband from you, I will not take away your dearest ones; far from it. When you approach the real divinity inside me, then the same divinity inside your dearest ones is bound to be fulfilled. When you please the Supreme in me, then you are also pleasing your dearest ones, for they are part and parcel of my being. But if I am not pleased, then even the most significant thing in your life, I tell you, is not going to give you happiness, because you will not be able to establish your oneness with that particular person or particular thing. But if you please the Supreme in me, then automatically you will get joy, love and concern from the soul of each individual.
Again, if somebody really pleases me, I tell you, he does not have to care for others' appreciation and admiration. Inside me, the power of appreciation is infinitely stronger than in all the disciples put together. People need appreciation, true. But if the appreciation comes from me, it will give you more joy than the appreciation of four hundred disciples. My appreciation is infinitely more valuable than the appreciation of human beings.
If I come first, I will take care of what is necessary in your life. Do you think that you will please me and I will not think of you? Impossible! The child pleases his mother by going to school. Then it is his mother's responsibility to buy his clothes, cook his food and take care of him when he comes home. So if I get my due — that is to say, your regular meditation and your faith in me — then I will do everything for you. But, unfortunately, you people don't try. You try to please the Supreme in your own way. You say, "In order to please Guru, we have to dig within and find our own Supreme." All right, find your own Supreme. But let me go with you as you dig within. We can dig together and discover your Supreme. And when you discover your Supreme, you will see that it is the same as my Supreme. The Supreme in me and the Supreme in you are one.
The easiest way to see and feel and become one with the Supreme in me, who is also the same Supreme in you, is not to expect anything from me. Only give, and then you will find yourself flooded with my joy, blessings, light, love and gratitude. But if you expect, then you are doomed. For you will expect something which you don't deserve at the time or you will expect something that, even if you deserve it, will create problems for you if I give it. So, without expectation if you want to see the Supreme in me and love the Supreme in me, then you are bound to get everything. If you say, "I don't expect anything from you; only I am giving, giving, giving," then the one who is receiving will not want to be indebted to you. He will say, "Since this fellow has given me what he has — his capacity, his quantity, his quality — then I must give him what I have." I know that my quality and quantity are much more, much higher, than yours. But if you give me all the joy, love, concern, devotion and surrender that you have, then I will give you what I have. Again, if you give with the idea that I will give you more, that is not good. If you think, "I will give one dollar and he will give ten," then I will be sad. When spirituality starts, at that time you have to think, "No, I don't care about gaining or losing. Only I want to give you whatever I have." Then I will say, "If he can give me what he has, then what is wrong with me? Is it not beneath my dignity not to give him what I have?"
So, when you do everything without expectation, then you are going to get infinitely more than you give. But if you say, "Oh, I have painted a very beautiful picture; now Guru will give me a smile," then I will see. If my inner being tells me that you expected a smile, I may say, "All right, stop! I won't give him a smile!" Sometimes when people do something and expect something in return, my inner being says, "Now what do you want to do? If you appreciate them, it is like an ordinary business transaction; he gives and I give in return. Then, afterwards he will write a beautiful poem and then he will expect more. So it never ends. What kind of real progress are you giving?"
Each time you do something, if like a beggar you approach me for something in return, this is wrong. Why should you act like a beggar? You have to feel, "I have this much capacity. I cannot give you what I don't have. But what I have, I am giving you cheerfully." This is the hero in you that is speaking. The divine hero in you says, "I am giving what I have." Then, the divine hero in me says, "What he has, he has given me. Now, why can't I give him what I have?"
So, if you start with expectation, then I am bound to disappoint you. But every day when you meditate, if you can offer me your joy, love, peace and gratitude, then the very fact that you are giving is your achievement. You are ready to give whereas others are not. This is your success, this is your progress. When the idea comes to your mind that you want to offer your divine love, divine joy and everything that you feel to your Guru, then that very feeling is your real success. When that very idea enters into your mind, it is a real achievement in the inner world.From:Sri Chinmoy,Illumination-world, Agni Press, 1977
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