One evening, about twenty disciples were at the Master's house when one of them asked, "Guru, when we quarrel with another disciple, does God get displeased with us?"
"Oh!" said the Master, "as if God has nothing else to do! When you have quarrelled with someone, God says, 'I am still pleased with you, even though you got angry with so-and-so.' But you know, Mula, very often when we get angry with someone, we get angry with God as well. We say, 'I have been praying and meditating for so long! How could God allow me to get angry with this particular person?' Or worse, we feel, 'I am angry with so-and-so because he is an unbearable fellow. Why did God create such a rogue and why does He allow him to bother me?' At that time, we become a destructive force."
"Do people really think that sort of thing, Master?"
"Certainly. They also feel this way about spiritual Masters. Just the other day it happened to me. For three months two disciples had been angry with each other and one of them finally got very angry with me because I am supposed to be perfecting their nature. Also, he got angry because I am allowing the other person to stay in my ashram. In another ashram I know of, two of the disciples who had been very good friends became the greatest enemies. One of them wrote to the Master, 'Since you are leading so-and-so to God-realisation, I don't need that kind of realisation. And furthermore, if you are taking him to the same Goal that you are taking me to, I definitely don't want to go to that Goal.' So he left the Master."
"Master, do you know when we are inwardly angry? Do you know what we are suffering from at every moment?" asked another disciple. "Do you know what causes our depression?"
"Certainly," replied the Master. "I know what you people are suffering from and going through just as well as you know it. But if I ask some disciples about their suffering, they categorically deny that anything is wrong. They simply say, 'Everything is fine, Master.' Somebody is sad and depressed, but he will say, 'Oh no, I am fine.' Somebody is jealous of someone, but when I ask her about it, she will say, 'Oh no, I am not jealous.' Somebody is cherishing doubt, real doubt about me, but he will simply say, 'No, no, I have all faith in you, Master.' Out of a hundred people, ninety-nine per cent will deny it when I ask them about their inner problems. So what am I to do?"
"But aren't we sometimes really unaware of what we are doing?" another disciple asked.
"For a few days you may be unaware. But there is not a single one of you whom I have not approached in the inner world. Occultly I convince you and you know it, but outwardly you deny it flatly. I give you people warnings hundreds of times by making you feel what you are doing against my Mission, against me, against the Supreme. I do make you feel this. So if you say that you are unaware of what you are doing wrong and how you are acting in the inner world or outer world, then it is not true. I have exposed you inwardly."
The disciples looked puzzled. After a brief silence one of them asked, "Master, what do you mean when you speak about the way we act in the inner and outer world? Could you explain?"
"Certainly. In the outer world people stand right in front of me with folded hands. But in the inner world, at two o'clock in the morning when I meditate on them, some of the disciples would simply kill me if they had more vital power. I go to them at that time to feed their souls, but they are displeased with me because I have been paying attention to somebody else. Fortunately, in the vital world they are weaker than I am. Even in the physical world I am stronger. If they tried to strike me, I would use my occult power and prevent them. But they come devotedly with folded hands in the outer world, while in the inner world there is such resentment, anger and hostility. Now, do you think that I don't bring this to their notice? In the inner world I expose them. I make them aware of these feelings that they are cherishing. But even now there are some of you right here who are doing things like this, and you know you are doing it."
The disciples were shocked that even in this intimate gathering their brother and sister disciples could cherish such behaviour, and one or two protested. But the Master continued, "If some of these disciples' resentment, undivine thoughts and undivine vital were accumulated together, you would see a real ocean, another Pacific Ocean. But God's Compassion for us is fortunately much larger than the ocean."
One of the newer disciples asked, "Master, why do they act this way?"
"Some people think that if they do this, perhaps one day I will surrender to their wishes. They think that if they are so bad, then I will let them have their own way. At times, just to achieve a kind of peace, some Masters make a compromise. But that is wrong. If I allow someone to increase his imperfection by allowing him to have his own way, then that person's wrong vibration will increase in the ashram.
"On the outer plane I may remain silent. I go on and let these people run according to their capacity. But if someone tries to run while carrying a heavy load of doubt, he will not be able to run; he will just stumble and fall. If another has willingness to run without the heavy burden of doubt or jealousy or anger, then I shall be able to lead that person faster. And if one has total consecration, love and surrender, then that person will run the fastest.
"In the beginning, when you first started your journey, I thought that everybody would run the fastest. Then I saw that some people do not have the capacity. So everyone goes according to his own speed. If you can run, I will run with you. If someone else can only walk, I shall walk. If he stumbles, I shall also be there to wait for him. This is what a spiritual Master does."
The Master then gazed at each disciple with such sweetness that many were moved to tears. Then he bowed his head, and the gathering broke up.From:Sri Chinmoy,A lost friend, Agni Press, 1976
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