My Lord, how can You be so heartlessly cruel to me?

1.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why have You

So maliciously departed

From the orbit of my sight?

```

2.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You so afraid

Of accepting me

As Your own, very own?

```

3.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see

That thickest clouds

Have completely covered

My heart-sky?

Why is Your Compassion sleeping,

Why? ```

4.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Frustration-thunders

Are roaring.

My poor mind is totally unsuccessful

In finding its own grave.

Can You not come to rescue

My hopelessly helpless mind? ```

5.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have been begging You

For such a long time

To come to me

So that I can enthrone You

In my brow-waves.

```

6.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You not giving me

The capacity to feel

That You are

The Be-All and End-All

Of my earth-Heaven-heart-homes?

```

7.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Your total indifference

To my desire-life

Has devastatingly pierced me through.

```

8.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You not opening Your Eye

Even for a fleeting moment

To see the fire of longing

Sleeplessly burning

Inside my heart?

```

9.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How long do You want me to weep

Copious tears

For Your deliberately delayed

Arrival? ```

10.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Save me!

Save me in any way

You want to!

```

11.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see that at long last

My mind has stopped doubting

Your Existence?

Can it not expect from You

A sky-burst Smile?

My Lord,

Your Silence is torturing me

Far beyond Your Imagination. ```

12.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have none to call my own.

Alas, I never thought

That my sad experience

Would be forced to include You! ```

13.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You unnecessarily delaying

In releasing me even from one

World-temptation-snare?

```

14.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Your partiality is killing me entirely.

You have saved and lifted up

Many creatures

That were undoubtedly lower than me.

Alas, in my case,

You have given Yourself

A terribly shocking new name:

Indifference. ```

15.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Alas, how can You be one of those

Who are telling me

That all my divine qualities

Have left me for good? ```

16.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I am crying

Because You have deliberately kept

Your listening Ears

Out of order. ```

17.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

If You really care for me,

Will You not take the trouble

Of humbling and humiliating

My impossible pride

For my life's

Perfect perfection? ```

18.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

For You I have swept my path

Readily, willingly and eagerly.

How can it be possible

For Your Compassion-flooded Eye

Not to see

What I have done for You? ```

19.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will You give me the capacity

To claim You as my own, very own

Here, there and everywhere?

```

20.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How is it

That it is not possible for You

To think of me at this very moment

When I am dying for You? ```

21.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You not allowing me

To be a sleepless slave

Of Your Feet?

```

22.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

When are You going to come

To extinguish the fire

Of my separation

From Your Heart? ```

23.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not feel even once

The excruciating pangs

Of Your absence

That are eating

My heart?

```

24.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Streams of tears are falling

From my devotion-eyes

To please You in Your own Way.

But Your unwillingness to accept them

Is unearthing the roots

Of my life-tree. ```

25.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see

The snake of our separation

Has bitten me powerfully

And shockingly,

And my life-breath is sinking

Without having a sweet glimpse

Of Your Compassion-Eye

And Your Satisfaction-Heart? ```

26.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will You give me

A sleepless and unquenchable thirst

For You?

```

27.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

You fool me by saying

That I am all Yours

And You are all mine.

I think and I feel

That this is the worst possible lie

That I have ever heard

From anybody!

```

28.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You allow me

To dream of anything else?

Do You not know

That I want to dream

Only of You?

```

29.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will Your Heart tell You

That I am always dying

To see You

And to be in Your Presence? ```

30.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I do not want to continue

With this human life.

Give me back my animal life.

I want to be Your faithful dog

To follow You

Everywhere You go. ```

31.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How many times have I told You

That my life is no life without You?

Yet I clearly see

That You do not care for me at all,

Either in my inner life

Or in my outer life.

Why, why?

```

32.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How many more times

Do I have to tell You

To capture my heart

So that my heart

Becomes all sweetness

And all fondness for You? ```

33.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

If You really love me,

Will You not transform

Everything in my life

To fulfil You? ```

34.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not come

And eat with me at my table

When I beg You again and again?

Am I an untouchable creature?

I thought You were my Creator.

It seems that I have to change

My opinion.

```

35.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How I wish You to miss me breathlessly

Only once

The way I miss You.

Then You will realise

What my heart and I go through

In Your absence. ```

36.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I ask You to increase my aspiration

And decrease my desire.

I cannot understand why

My desire has to increase

And

My aspiration has to decrease!

How can You not feel the sincerity

Of my intensity-prayer? ```

37.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I pray to You for Your Closeness.

You give me success after success

So that my success-life can prevent me

From being close to You.

I assure You that one day

You will have to surrender

To my eagerness

To be in Your extreme Closeness. ```

38.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Are You really afraid

Of my growing attachment

To You?

Do tell me frankly. ```

39.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Please be kind to me once and for all

And tell me when I can be

A glowing detachment

From my desire-bound earth-life. ```

40.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I try to give You my fear.

You do not accept it.

I try to give You my love.

You do not accept it.

Then tell me what I can give You

To make You happy in Your own Way. ```

41.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

For centuries I have looked for You.

Now may I not be allowed

At least for a few years

To look after You? ```

42.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How can I believe

That I was made only of Your Joy

When I do not see You happy

At any time? ```

43.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Have You forgotten

That You made a solemn Promise

That when I fail,

You would immediately sail

To my rescue?

```

44.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will I be able to breathe in

Your Compassion-Smile?

And when will I be able to breathe out

My surrender-joy? ```

45.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why have You given me

Such feeble devotion

That can never reach

Your Feet? ```

46.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

You have never asked me

To sing for You

A rainbow-song

Of my self-giving. ```

47.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not allow my soul-flames

To illumine my entire being

Even one single time?

```

48.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How can it be possible

That right in front of You

My aspiration-heart has not become

An ever-rising life-tree-climber? ```

49.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not give me

A special kind of morning meditation

To multiply my heart's

Aspiration-flames rapidly? ```

50.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see

My heart's streaming tears

Running again and again

To my life's progress-start?

Can You not be of any help to me?

```

51.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

When are You going

To pass by this way? ```

52.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not think

That Your Promises are all hollow?

You have promised to me

So many times

That You will steal into my heart

And rob me of everything

That I have and I am.

```

53.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

How long are You going to remain

Unmoved and unperturbed

By my orphan-tears?

```

54.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Will there be a day in my life,

Early in the morning

During my prayers and meditations,

When we shall consume each other

With our mutual love and affection?

```

55.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Was Your Promise not sincere

When You told me

That You would come back

And take me with You

To visit Your transcendental Heights?

```

56.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Is it such a difficult task

For You to break my ego

Before it breaks me?

```

57.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see

That my outer life

Is totally shattered

And my inner life

Is completely devoid of hope?

```

58.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Please tell me

Why You have stopped answering

My heart-letters,

Why? ```

59.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

My Lord, do You not know

That when You do not smile at me,

I immediately lose

The compass and the anchor

Of my life-boat?

```

60.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I want to realise You

As soon as possible,

But if You continuously

Break my heart,

Then I assure You

Your Heart will be next! ```

61.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I strongly feel

That Your very Touch

Can easily transform

My mind-woods

Into

My heart-blossoms. ```

62.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not tell me

The secret way to Your Heart,

Why?

```

63.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do I have to tell You

Again and again

That You heal my heart

With Your fleeting Smile? ```

64.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not realise

That in Your absence

I drown in my heart's

Loneliness-tears? ```

65.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not realise

That each act

Of Your loving Concern

Deepens my heart's love

For You?

```

66.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

My heart is simply devastated.

For me, my oneness with You

Means here and now,

At this very moment,

And not in the remote future.

```

67.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Unspeakable selfishness

Is killing my entire being,

Yet You are completely silent.

```

68.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

My Lord, is it not high time

For You to destroy

My unwillingness-tyrant-mind?

```

69.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have only one prayer,

And that prayer

Is for You to make me worthy

Of Your scoldings.

But even that one prayer

You never sanction! ```

70.

```

My Lord,

How can you be

so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not give me any chance

To smile at You,

To make my heart

Infinitely sweeter

And my life

Infinitely richer? ```

From:Sri Chinmoy,My Lord, how can You be so heartlessly cruel to me?, Agni Press, 1999
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/lhc