My Lord's Lotus-Feet versus my devotion-heart, part 2

1.

```

My Lord,

Did You think of me

When I was swimming

In ignorance-sea?

"My child,

Definitely My Mind

Was thinking of you

And My Heart

Was missing you."

```

2.

```

My Lord,

I have come to realise

That my mind-palace

Has no peace.

Could You suggest

Another place?

"My child,

Yes, I can:

Your heart-cottage."

```

3.

```

My Lord,

What is more important —

For You to tell the world

That I belong to You,

Or for me to tell the world

That You belong to me?

"My child,

Let us broadcast

Simultaneously."

```

4.

```

My Lord,

Can You enjoy Your Beauty

The way we enjoy Your Beauty?

"My child,

You do your duty

And I do My Duty:

I enjoy at every moment

Your heart-beauty."

```

5.

```

My Lord,

Please bless me

With that kind of love for You

That will pass the examination

Of Time.

```

6.

```

My Lord,

Please tell me frankly

If I am ready for a divine life.

"My child,

Right now if I answer

The question,

I shall say without a shadow

Of doubt

That you are ready.

But if I have to answer

The question

At another time,

Then I may have

A different opinion."

Why, my Lord?

"My child,

The time that elapses

May drag you down

And you may not then be ready

For the spiritual life."

```

7.

```

My Lord,

I see a criminal in me,

I really do.

Please tell me

What You see in me.

"My child,

I see in you

My highest Divinity's

Sweetest dove." ```

8.

```

My Lord,

I most sincerely

Want to manifest You,

But I do not know how.

Please tell me how I can.

"My child,

Instead of wasting your time

By manifesting Me,

Pray to Me to manifest Myself

More and better

In and through you." ```

9.

```

My Lord,

You do not sleep.

You meditate and meditate;

You work and work.

I am Your child.

Will I ever be

As great and as good

As You are?

"My child,

I never thought that you could be

Such a fool!

How can there be any difference

Between Father and child?

Is the child not the creation

Of the Father?

I am conscious of what I have

And what I am.

Unfortunately, you are not.

This is the difference

That forces you to swim

In the seas of inequality

And unworthiness." ```

10.

```

My Lord,

Everything has a meaning.

May I know the meaning

Of Your Compassion-Breath?

"My child,

My Compassion-Breath means

Your ignorance-death!"

```

11.

```

My Lord,

If I have two new eyes,

Will I not be able

To appreciate You

And admire You more?

"No, My child,

You will be able

To appreciate and admire

Me more

Only if you feed

Your God-hunger more." ```

12.

```

My Lord,

Every year my earthly years

Advance,

And I lose something precious

From my childlike heart.

Is it because of the advancement

Of the years that I am losing

My divine qualities?

"No, My child,

It is not exactly so.

Your passing years have nothing

To do with it.

But every year, unfortunately,

You are over-feeding your mind.

Therefore, the tragedy continues."

```

13.

```

My Lord,

Every word You say

Melts my aspiration-heart.

"My child,

Every promise you make

Enlarges My Cosmic Vision."

```

14.

```

My Lord,

When You smile at me,

I see inside Your Smile

The Beauty of Your Divinity.

"My child,

When you smile at Me,

I see in you

A completely new world

Blossoming

In all its promises." ```

15.

```

My Lord,

I want You

To saddle me.

Why do You

Cradle me?

"My child,

The hour is fast approaching

For Me to please you

In your own way." ```

16.

```

My Lord,

I have started making

My gratitude-list.

But it never ends.

"My child,

So much the better

For both of us."

```

17.

```

My Lord,

Please tell me one thing:

Do You want me to realise You,

Or do You want me to please You?

"My child,

Where is the difference?" ```

18.

```

My Lord,

I want to end my earth-journey.

"My child,

I have given you freedom

In many aspects of your life,

But not here." ```

19.

```

My Lord,

How I wish You would live

In the tears of my heart

Bravely.

"My child,

How I wish you would live

In the Smiles of My Eye

Happily." ```

20.

```

My Lord,

I was born to be

A choice instrument of Yours.

"My child,

Unlike you, I never forget." ```

21.

```

My Lord,

Is there any special reason

Why You have come to me

So late at night?

"My child,

It is the only time

I can catch your mind

And try to tame it." ```

22.

```

My Lord,

I am giving up everything

Until I find You.

"My child,

Instead of giving up everything,

Try to find Me in everything.

That is the real way,

The only way

That will make Me happy

And will make you happy as well."

```

23.

```

My Lord,

If I give You

My unconditional surrender,

I am afraid You will misuse it.

"My child,

Just give Me

Your unconditional surrender first.

If I misuse it,

You are at perfect liberty

To withdraw it." ```

24.

```

My Lord,

I am begging You

To keep me with You all the time

And not to allow me to go away.

"My child,

I have the same prayer." ```

25.

```

My Lord,

My heart breaks into millions

Of pieces

When I do not feel You

Inside my heart.

"My child,

You are not alone in your boat.

How is it that you do not see Me

Beside you?" ```

26.

```

My Lord,

May I dare to become

One of Your favourite children?

"My child,

I think you already are one." ```

27.

```

My Lord,

When I was young,

You told me that I was too young

To accept the spiritual life.

And now that I am old, too old,

You are telling me

That I am not meant

For the spiritual life.

Why did You not tell me this

When I was still an adult

With my whole life ahead of me?

"My child,

Allow Me to explain.

You were meant

For the spiritual life,

But you were not ready,

You are not ready

And you will never be ready

For the spiritual life

Until you feel that the spiritual life

Is the only life,

And there is no other life for you."

```

28.

```

My Lord,

Will my life ever be

Your sole possession?

"My child,

The moment you hand it over

To Me."

```

29.

```

My Lord,

Is there anything I can do

To make You happy?

"My child,

Claim Me immediately

As your own, very own."

```

30.

```

My Lord,

Why does my body sleep so much?

And is that why I cannot meditate?

"My child,

I am also victim to the same thing,

But I force Myself to meditate.

Look how happy I am

And how proud I am!

I want you to do likewise:

Force your body."

```

31.

```

My Lord,

Is there any secret way

For me to free myself

From my sufferings?

"My child,

There is one.

Just identify yourself

With My universal Suffering.

Lo, your suffering is gone,

Completely gone." ```

32.

```

My Lord,

Why are You not making my life

A bit easier?

"My child,

I am asking you

The same question."

```

33.

```

My Lord,

In the battlefield of life

When I am repeatedly defeated,

Do You feel sorry for me?

"My child,

My defeats are infinitely

More deplorable."

```

34.

```

My Lord,

Are You not proud of me

That I have accepted You

As my Teacher

And discarded my old teacher:

Ignorance?

"My child,

Proud is an understatement!

Only I am sad

That you did not think of Me

Long ago."

```

35.

```

My Lord,

Do You not feel sorry that

Instead of our being

At Your Mercy,

You are at our mercy?

"No, My child.

When I am at your mercy,

I try to add more Compassion

To My infinite Compassion

And more Forgiveness

To My infinite Forgiveness.

Unconsciously,

You are giving Me an opportunity

To sing the song

Of My ever-transcending Beyond." ```

36.

```

My Lord,

What are You doing

Inside my mind?

Do You not know that my mind

Does not care for You?

"My child,

I know, I know.

I am just paying a visit,

In case your mind

Wants to change its mind."

```

37.

```

My Lord,

Have You any idea

How much my heart is suffering

From Your absence?

"My child,

I truly have no idea.

But I am immediately sending

My Compassion-Eye

To make serious inquiries."

```

38.

```

My Lord,

You do not come to me.

Is it because

My heart is too insignificant,

My mind is too impure,

My life is too imperfect?

"No, My child,

Not for that, no.

I do not come to you

Because your love for Me

Is still too shallow."

```

39.

```

My Lord,

I am extremely tired.

Please tell me a story

So that I can immediately

Fall asleep.

"My child,

I am the wrong person.

I am infinitely more tired

Than you are.

Therefore, sleep has already

Captured My Eye." ```

40.

```

My Lord,

I am fully awake.

Cheerfully and self-givingly

I am at Your Command.

"My child,

Are you sure?

I plead with you,

This time do not

Eat your promise

Like previous times." ```

41.

```

My Lord,

Each time I come near You,

You just run away.

Why, why, my Lord?

"My child,

Just to increase your heart-hunger

In measureless measure."

```

42.

```

My Lord,

Every day I write heart-letters

To You.

Do You get a chance to read them?

Be honest.

Do You really like them?

"My child,

My Heart hungers

For your heart-letters."

```

43.

```

My Lord,

Will there be a day

When I will be able to come to You,

Fulfilling all Your expectations,

And show You my delight-flooded

Victory-face?

"My child,

What you need is a little more Grace.

Your red-letter day

Is fast approaching you." ```

44.

```

My Lord,

I do not know how I dare

To show my face to You,

Since I displease You

In so many ways.

"My child,

How do I show My Face to you

Without fulfilling

So many desires of yours?

Even if we do not please

Each other,

Let us continue showing our faces."

```

45.

```

My Lord,

I speak ill of You

In season and out of season.

How is it that You never

Speak ill of me?

"My child,

My Mind and My Heart

Are always fully occupied

With things

Infinitely more important

Than being your worthy rival." ```

46.

```

My Lord,

I know world-criticism is bad.

How can self-criticism also be bad?

"My child,

Both are unmistakably

And equally bad.

Your world-criticism

Lengthens the pride

Of your stupidity-flooded mind.

Your self-criticism

Indefinitely delays

My divine manifestation

In and through you." ```

47.

```

My Lord,

Do You really know everything

That I say and do?

"My child,

Although I have the capacity

To know

Everything that you do and say,

I prefer to do something else:

I am desperately trying

To turn you into another God

So that I can entrust you

With some of My Responsibilities."

```

48.

```

My Lord,

Do You mind

When I do not please You

Every day?

"My child,

I am afraid

That I will never be able

To answer your question

Adequately."

```

49.

```

My Lord,

I need to know

When I shall realise You.

"My child,

I need to know first of all

When you will give Me your all

And when you will claim Me

To be your own."

```

50.

```

My Lord,

I love Your Eye so much.

Do You love anything of mine?

"My child,

I love the blooming-blossoming

Smiles of your eyes

More than you can ever love

My Eye."

```

51.

```

My Lord,

Will my life's service-tree

Be able to inspire

One hundred seekers?

"My child,

Only one hundred?

What a shock!

What an insult to your soul

And to Me!"

```

52.

```

My Lord,

Do You think I shall ever be able

To realise You in this lifetime?

"Yes, My child, yes.

No, My child, no."

What do You mean, my Lord,

'Yes and No'?

Please be explicit.

"Yes, when you are faith-nectar.

No, when you are doubt-poison." ```

53.

```

My Lord,

Is it such a difficult thing

For You to make a solemn promise

To me

That You will always remain

With me,

Whether I speak highly of You

Or speak ill of You?

"My child,

I shall always remain with you,

And I have

A special piece of advice for you:

Speak ill of Me if you have to,

For this is the only way

You can empty yourself

Of your doubt-poison.

But speak highly of Me if you can,

So that I can immediately

Start singing and dancing

Inside your heart-garden." ```

From:Sri Chinmoy,My Lord's Lotus-Feet versus my devotion-heart, part 2, Agni Press, 1998
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/llf_2