I love shopping, part 1

Upside down¹

The polaroid camera²

Ashrita went to four or five stores, but he couldn’t get any film. He came back and told me. The lady said, “I told you! What is the use of buying a camera if you can’t get film?” If it had been somewhere else, they would have said, “Buy the camera here and then look for film somewhere else.”

Father, husband and brother³

Immediately my heart surrendered to her. I asked her a few questions. She said she was Japanese and that her father, husband and brother had died in the Second World War. Her husband used to work in the post office.

While she was patting me, she said, “You are serene, pure and full of peace, peace, peace, peace.” She said “peace” at least four or five times.

I bought from her store a suitcase with wheels on the bottom. It was nine dollars or something like that, and I gave her a twenty dollar bill. She did not ring it up on the cash register. Instead she took the twenty dollar bill from me and put it inside my bag. So I took it out of the bag and gave it to her again and said, “You have made a mistake.”

At that time her daughter came over. She was very angry and upset and she rang up the sale on the register. The mother then took the exact amount out of her pocket and put it in the register.

The daughter was puzzled.

The mother said, “He reminds me of my father, husband and brother. Of late I am seeing my dear ones quite often.”

What could I say? Inwardly I was telling her, “Perhaps your time has come to join them.” But if I told her outwardly, her daughter would be mad. Since the lady was so nice, I wandered around and got a few more things. The lady said to me, “Had it been my store, I would not have charged you at all. But I am only an employee here.”

Then, when I was leaving the store, she followed me out to the door in such an affectionate way. Tears were visible in her eyes.

The stuffed animal⁴

Before I bought it, I said to one of the salesladies, “I like it very much; it is white and very nice. But is it a cow?”

She laughed at me and said, “No, a dog!”

It was very beautiful, and it looked like a cow.

I am sorry⁵

I asked, “Are you Hawaiian or Japanese?”

She said, “I am Japanese, and I am sorry I asked you for twenty cents extra.”

She gave me the bag and wouldn’t take the twenty cents from me. Afterwards, I got a few more things. As I was going out, she followed me and said very fast, “I am sorry.”

The "thank you" business⁶

The little boy said to his sister, “Jeannie,” — or something like that — “if you have ten cents, can you give it to me?”

She said, “No!”

Then the boy said, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘if’, ‘if’, ‘if’? I said, ‘If you have, if you have!’”

Again she said, “No!”

Then he said, “Damn you!”

The girl bought a roll of thick string. It came to $1.36. She only had $1.30. So when she gave $1.30 to the lady at the register, the lady at the register said, “O my God, O my God,” looking at the manager. How could she give the girl the string when the actual price was six cents more?

Immediately I took out a dollar and gave it to the little girl, so she was very happy. The lady at the register said to her, “Say ‘thank you’ to the gentleman.” But the girl didn’t say anything. Then from the change I gave a dime to the little boy. He grabbed it from me. The woman behind the register, who was about 23 or 25 years old, said to him, “Little one, say ‘thank you’.” He also wouldn’t say it. So the woman said to the little girl, “What kind of parents do you have? I am ashamed of you.” Then she said to me, “On their behalf I am thanking you. It’s a shame that parents don’t teach their children the ‘thank you’ business!”

In his own world⁷

Banana ice cream⁸

The suspect⁹

When I went into the store a few days ago, I left my bag outside as I always do. It was raining, but what could I do? Then I went inside. A half hour I spent there. I bought a dictionary for a dollar. Then I saw Shakespeare’s Hamlet. I wanted to buy the whole Shakespeare set. The man was so nice. He was looking for the other books, but he could not find them. He said he would have them ready for me the next time — thirty-eight volumes.

I said, “Next week I will come.”

He said, “You will get the books.”

He was looking at me. Then he said, “It seems you are Sri Chinmoy. I can feel the fragrance from your body.” He was saying he was so honoured that I had come into his store.

Then I was looking for my bag. It was on the shelf inside. The man had taken it from outside and put it on the shelf. He said, “Why did you leave it outside?”

I said, “The previous owner used to suspect me.” I told him how nice he was and how bad the previous owner was.

The sari store¹⁰

The same customer twice¹¹

I said, “It doesn’t matter, so long as you have given me the proper change.” Then I saw two cute writing pads that said “I love New York” with a heart sign. I said to myself, “I really love New York. It has given me shelter. No other place has given me shelter like this.”

I went up to the girl with the pads. I was standing in front of her, and she was about to press the register. Suddenly I got the inspiration to buy cookies for Alo and Savyasachi. Then she got mad at me. Nobody was behind me. Only one other person was browsing in the store; that’s all. I said, “What’s the difference if I come back or if another customer comes? Can’t you take me as another customer?”

She said to me, “Oh, I didn’t think of it.”

An encounter at Lucille's Diner¹²

About four days ago I went to Lucille’s Diner with six or seven visiting disciples. When I sat down, this particular man wanted to come over and say hello to me. But Databir stood up and prevented him from approaching me. I looked at the man through the corner of my eye and saw that he was a very nice, very soulful man. So I approached him and said hello to him.

He was so moved. Immediately he showed me his key-chain which had my picture on it. It was one of my smiling pictures. When he spoke to me, he addressed me as “Guru.”

I asked him what he does for a living. He is a fire marshal. We exchanged just a few words, and I invited him to come to our Wednesday night meditations if it was at all possible. Afterwards, he talked to Databir for a few minutes, and then he left. I wasn’t paying any attention when he left. We were just sitting and eating.

When the time came for me to pay the bill, the waitress informed me that the man had paid it. He had told her that he was very happy that he could take care of it. That is why last night, when he came to our Wednesday night public meditation, I gave him flowers. Now today I heard that after the meeting he said he would like to become a disciple.

Who is right?¹³

While he was making everything, I asked another worker if she could give me a Tab and a donut. This is how I follow my diet! You won’t believe it, but I have lost eight and a half pounds since the 15-mile race. This is solid weight loss — not water weight. I ran and took exercise; I worked very hard. When I started, I was 146 1/2 pounds. When I got on the scale, I cried. Then, after running the 15-mile race, I gained two and a half or three pounds, as usual. But now my weight is back down to 138, or even a little less. So it is possible for everyone to lose weight!

Anyway, I finished my food, and what did I see? A black man entered the store. He was wearing an expensive suit and was very well dressed. At that time it was around twelve-thirty or one o’clock. The man ordered something and ate it. He gave a ten dollar bill to the owner, but he did not get as much change as he was expecting. The owner just pointed to the price list.

The customer said, “No, you have to give me more change!”

The owner said, “From six to eleven in the morning there is one price. After eleven, the price changes.” The customer said, “I would not have eaten if I had seen that.”

The owner said, “You have to pay for what you have eaten.”

A real argument started, and I was standing right between them. There was a container of milk on the counter. One of them accidentally struck it, and it spilled all over. Both the black man and I jumped away from the counter.

Then I said, “Please, please, I am ready to give the fifty cents.”

The customer was so embarrassed that he said to the owner, “Hell with you!” and walked out.

The owner turned to me and said, “Please tell me who was right?”

I said, “You were right!”

The man grabbed my hand and with his other hand he grabbed two donuts and put them in my other hand.

He said, “You don’t have to pay a cent for these.”

I said, “I don’t want the donuts.” So he put them into my bag. This is how I got two donuts free. Of course, if the owner had asked me who was right while the other man was in the store, I would have said to him, “Do I understand your English?”

Honeybread¹⁴

The girl said, “I don’t know.” So she went to her boss, an elderly lady.

The boss said, “It has honey inside.”

How they put honey inside the bread, God knows!

The bargainer¹⁵

Finally he told them, “I am not going to sell it for less than three-fifty.” So I said, “Then I am not going to buy it. We are going to another place.” Then I felt sorry because I liked the thing so much. So I asked them to go back in and offer three hundred. He said, “No, three twenty-five.”

So it started again. I was arguing for three hundred, but he wouldn’t agree. Finally, he agreed and he sent his assistant, a black man, to talk to me. The man said, “It is very valuable.”

I told Databir and Vidhu, “Let them hate me for bargaining. I always ask for half price, because they always ask for two or three hundred dollars extra.” In India everyone always bargains. In America some shopkeepers say nasty things when you try to bargain. But they ask such an inflated price! Why give them so much money unnecessarily?

Sari bargaining¹⁶

She came in after me, but she wanted to be served before me, so she bought it for thirty-six dollars, and left while I was still standing there.

Then the shopkeeper said that he gave me a better price because I always buy more than one. And he added, “Also, she is an ugly woman. I don’t see any beauty in her.” That is why he sold the sari to her for thirty-six dollars.

The steam machine¹⁷

I didn’t like the machine at all, but I would have surrendered to Sanatan. But when my mother interfered, I did not buy it. This machine was three times as large as the one I eventually did buy.

English saves us¹⁸

In India, Hindi is the official language, but even now many people do not know Hindi. In so many places they can’t speak Hindi, but they do speak English. So English saves us.

Soul's connection¹⁹

If you go there, you will see on the wall my picture in the New York Marathon. Thousands of people are ahead of me, but I am clearly visible.

The flute²⁰

He said, “Do you want an expensive one or an inexpensive one?”

I said, “Inexpensive.” The most inexpensive flutes were four hundred dollars; the others were twelve hundred and even two thousand or three thousand dollars.

Then he said to me, “If you know how to play, I advise you to go into our studio and play; then you can see if you like the flute. But if you don’t know how to play, the best thing is for you to look at it in front of me here.” He very nicely suspected me. After I had played for two seconds, he said, “You don’t have to play here.” Then he took me to the studio.

Whether it was his sincerity or flattery, God knows, but after I played for two or three minutes he said, “You are a concert flautist. You should not play this flute. You should use an open-hole flute.”

Inwardly I said, “What is his intention? Those flutes are four thousand dollars. He may just be flattering me to get the money. Flattery sometimes makes you lose your sense of proportion.” So I said, “I can’t play that kind of flute.”

The flute that I was going to buy was three hundred dollars. But he flattered me to such an extent that I decided to get one that cost about a thousand dollars. When I was about to pay the bill, Alo came into the store. She said, “A thousand dollars!”

But I said to myself, “I sell so many flute tapes. In two weeks I will be able to make this money back. I won’t be wasting money. Now I will be able to make more tapes and sell them.”

So I bought the expensive flute. Now I am practising on it, and I am already planning to make several more tapes.

The harmonium²¹

The man said, “Certainly you can see it, but first you have to tell me if you have ever played one. If you have never played one, I can’t allow you to play it. You have to listen to me play it. I will play, and you will hear what a wonderful sound it has.”

I said, “Definitely I can play it. Please let me try.” It was very small. After playing it I said, “I have four or five harmoniums and this one is infinitely worse than my worst!”

He kept quiet because he saw that I did know how to play.

The good-hearted Indian²²

I said, “Why?”

He said, “It is a dollar eighty-five, and you want to give me two dollars. I don’t want you to make me rich!”

Since I was offering, he could have easily agreed. Then he was begging me to drink some juice because it was very hot. I said no, because I had to leave.

He said, “At least take some handkerchiefs from me. Do you have any handkerchiefs?”

I said, “No, I don’t have any handkerchiefs.”

So he forced me to take three handkerchiefs.

Looking for shorts²³

The baked potato shop²⁴

Afterwards I was very hungry, but I didn’t want to eat much. Sabuj is the manager of a baked potato store, so we went there to eat. After I ate one baked potato, my hunger increased like anything, so I asked them to give me three or four items more. Even that was not enough, and again I asked for more. So this is how I diet when I am travelling.

The embarrassing question²⁵

One of the workers came up to me and said, “I am embarrassed, but I would like to ask you something. You have no hair, yet you look so smart and strong. May I know your age?”

I said, “Fifty-one.”

He said, “Fifty-one?”

The worker was much younger than me, but he was very fat. He couldn’t believe I was over fifty. And he was not just flattering me because I bought the football. He said this to me long before I bought it.

Buying a flute²⁶

The thirty-dollar meal²⁷

I had two hundred dollars or more in my wallet but I said, “I thank you,” and went away.

The waiter probably thought that I didn’t have thirty dollars. But although I did have it, I said to myself, “What am I going to eat for thirty dollars?” That is why I went away.

Losing one's appetite²⁸

The lady started screaming at the waitress and then went out of the coffee shop. The waitress followed her, also screaming, because the lady had ordered food and had gone away without paying for it. God knows what happened during her phone conversation, but she did not want to eat.

What else?²⁹

Whenever I stand by the cash register, before they tell me how much I owe them, they always ask, “What else, what else?”

The King's admirers³⁰

When I went into the bookstore today, a black man was reading Muhammad Ali’s book, I Am King. In this book Ali did not say he was “the greatest.” He said, “I am the King.”

The man was very nice. He was showing such interest in the book. He said, “Would you like to buy this book?”

I said, “I am, like you, a great admirer of Muhammad Ali.”

He said, “You are a great admirer of his?”

I said, “I have had quite a few interviews with him.”

He couldn’t believe his ears. He said, “Oh, you have met the King? You talked to him?”

I said, “I have talked with him for hours.”

I took the man’s name and address and said that I would send him the brochures with our interviews.

The man had with him a cage with a rabbit inside. The shopkeeper wouldn’t let him bring it inside the bookstore.

The one-cent "discount"³¹

So I said, “Good luck!” I said many other nice things to him also.

Then, when I reached into my pocket, I saw that I had a five dollar bill, plus a quarter, a dime and four pennies. I said to him, “I have here five dollars and thirty-nine cents. If you do not want to accept it, I will give you a twenty dollar bill.”

He grabbed the twenty dollar bill. He wanted to have the twenty, instead of five thirty-nine. Then when he was about to give me the change, he said, “Not worth it!” He returned the twenty, and took my five thirty-nine.

I said, “Fine!”

I should one day give him a hundred books free. His spiritual section is nothing — all rubbish novels.

Mistaken identity³²

Buying the Post³³

I smiled at him.

He continued, “Are you really? I have come to your meditations at PS 86 on Parsons Boulevard.”

I was carrying a bag over my shoulder, so he said “Now you are carrying a bag.”

I said, “Now you see the difference from the way I am at meditation.”

He said, “No difference!”

While I was paying for the newspaper, he was telling the shopkeeper, “He is Sri Chinmoy.”

When I was coming out of the store, he was still gazing at me.

An important person³⁴

So I smiled at her. Then the owner started asking her, “Who is he?”

I have been at that clothing store on Jamaica Avenue at least sixty or seventy times, but the owner thinks that I am an ordinary person. After talking to the lady, the owner realised that I am an “important person.” So that’s how I became an important person overnight!

Filled with saris³⁵

The little girl who wouldn't move³⁶

I said, “Yes.”

He was so excited. He was telling his six or seven-year-old daughter, “That is Sri Chinmoy! That is Guru Sri Chinmoy!”

His daughter felt shy, so she stayed in one corner of the store while I was taking exercise on an exercise machine. After ten minutes she came over to watch me. Then she wouldn’t move. She was standing so near me, looking and looking at my eyes for ten minutes, with her eyes wide open. Dhanu couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t move.

A mentor³⁷

I know him so well. He has been going to the ashram for the last thirty years. We used to walk along the shores of the Bay of Bengal together in the evening. Eighteen years ago he came to America to give lectures at Mississippi University. Some nice pictures of us together were taken while he was here. He brought me a beautiful small statue of Lord Buddha and other gifts. I remember them — especially a peculiar ballpoint from Shanti Niketan.

For most of the articles in the book that I bought, I had served as his messenger boy. During that time I was unofficial sub-editor of Mother India, and I used to take his articles to the editor. Also, I made arrangements for him to have an interview with Mother India.

I was so delighted and excited to see the book. It was $2.95. So I bought it and started reading it. I truly admire Sisir Kumar Ghose. He was such a nice, kind mentor. I am really grateful to him. My immediate offering of gratitude to this supremely noble soul can only be felt and never be described. Many, many things one day I will tell about him.

But after I had bought his book the funniest thing happened. That same afternoon I received a letter from Vidagdha saying that Sisir Kumar Ghose of Shanti Niketan had been one of the examiners of her doctoral thesis on my poetry. Melbourne University had submitted her thesis to various places, but the professors didn’t want to examine it because they didn’t know anything about the subject. Finally, Sisir Ghose accepted. He is head of the English section of the university at Shanti Niketan. According to him, Vidagdha should have also said something about my Bengali poems.

Such a nice man³⁸

I said, “I have also not seen you for a long time.”

Then I got seven or eight items. I came to her and she added it up on the cash register. It came to $13. I said, “It is wrong. Are you sure?”

She said, “Do you think I am overcharging you’”

I said, “No, it seems to me that you have not charged me for all the items.”

Then she took the receipt out of the cash register and checked each item to show me that it was all right. I was wrong.

Then she said, “You are such a nice man!”

A brother named Sri Chinmoy³⁹

I said, “Why?”

He said, “You look exactly like him.”

Then he looked at me again and dropped his bag of plantain chips and said, “Sri Chinmoy! Sri Chinmoy!”

He told me, “Two or three years ago I went to one of your meetings in Manhattan. There I saw you meditating.” He couldn’t believe that I would be shopping in a grocery store. He came from the Dominican Republic.

He was so excited. He told his friend, “Sri Chinmoy is in my store! Sri Chinmoy is in my store!”

The disciple⁴⁰

Baoul was waiting for me in the car at a particular place. I could see him, but he didn’t see me, so I had to carry the bags myself.

A man came up to me and asked, “Are you Sri Chinmoy?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “I came to one of your Wednesday meetings. It was so powerful.” Then he started telling me all about his Guru while I was standing holding the heavy bags.

He said, “I was initiated by my Guru. Now he has passed away.”

I said, “Your Guru has left successors. You should follow his successors.”

He said, “My Guru taught me Kundalini Yoga. But I don’t get anything from his successors.”

I said, “I don’t teach Kundalini Yoga.”

He said, “Do you think you could take me faster?”

I said, “You have been initiated by your Guru. Now he is the one to take you.”

For ten minutes I talked to him, all the time holding my heavy bags. Finally I said, “Your Guru is the right Guru for you.”

Then I carried the bags to Baoul’s car.

The St. Thomas restaurant⁴¹

I said, “I am the same guy.”

Then somebody passing by said, “Yes, he is the same gentleman.”

The first man said, “Oh, he is a great man!” Then he disappeared.

The philosopher⁴²

I told him, “When I want to get joy in this world I read joke books, and when I want to get joy in the inner world I read spiritual books.”

So he said, “Are you a philosopher?”

I said, “Yes.”

Then I continued reading the joke books.

Twelve donuts⁴³

When I asked for a dozen, he or she couldn’t understand me. So I said, “Twelve.”

Then the worker started putting the donuts in a brown paper bag. Another worker came over and said, “No, put them in a box.” So he started putting them in a box.

Then a young Puerto Rican woman came and said, “Twelve? Do you know how much they cost? Fifty cents each!”

I looked at them and said, “I have the money.”

They were warning me that it was so expensive, as if I couldn’t buy twelve donuts. This store changes hands quite often. Six months ago when I went there to buy five or six donuts, the owner gave me three or four extra for free. Always when I used to go there he would pat me on the shoulder and say, “You are a nice man.” Now he is no longer there.