“Who do you want to kill?” asked the Master.
“That Nepali!”
“What has she done to you?”
“Unthinkable and unbearable! She is associating with other men. Master, you know that we separated a few years ago because we were not getting along well. But even though we are no longer married, I still care about her.”
“Now that you are separated from her, what right do you have to concern yourself with her personal life?”
“Legally, I don’t have any right. But morally and spiritually, I feel I do have the right.”
“You don’t have any right whatsoever. You are legally divorced from her. You have your own life and she has hers.”
“But Master, it pains me so deeply that she is mixing with other men.”
“My son, a new chapter has opened both in your life and in her life. Can’t you bury the sad past in oblivion? You say you have moral and spiritual obligations to her. It is absurd of you to cherish such an idea at this point. She belongs to God, and you too belong to God.”
“Master, it is true that I belong to God only. But she belongs to God and also to some men. I never knew that she could be so undivine. Master, why don’t you throw her out of your ashram?”
“If I throw her out, then sooner or later I will have to throw out most of my disciples, if not all of them. Throwing her out will not serve any purpose. Throwing out her boyfriends will serve no purpose either. Throwing out all my disciples, all my unaspiring disciples who are in the emotional world, will serve no purpose. You and she are equally guilty: she for her emotional life, and you for your undue, unfounded and unrealistic attachment to her. You should only be devoted to God. You should not be attached to anybody.”
“But Master, every morning she ruins my consciousness. Every morning when I start to meditate she enters into my mind. She captures my whole being and ruins all my aspiration.”
“Does she enter into your mind, or do you enter into her consciousness?”
“I assure you, Master, it is she who enters into me.”
The Master burst into laughter and said, “The pot is calling the kettle black.”
“I don’t think of her, Master. It is she who thinks of me, and I can’t get rid of her. It is she who knocks at my mental door. Out of sheer courtesy I open the door, and when I let her in I am totally lost.”
“You fool! Is it your courtesy or is it your weakness that makes you open the door and let her in?”
“Master, if it is my weakness, then how is it that you have not given me the strength to overcome this weakness? I have been your disciple for such a long time. I suffer much from my emotional life, my life of attachment.”
“You suffer because you don’t want to give up that kind of life.”
“Master, it is very easy for you to tell me to give up my emotional and vital life.”
“I don’t say that it is an easy task, but if you try, you can give it up.”
“Master, I have been trying for such a long time. I see now that there is no hope, there is no escape for me.”
“My son, there is all hope. And you don’t have to escape. You are not a thief. Just strengthen your life of aspiration, and lo! all your weaknesses will disappear.”
“Master, aspiration is one thing and temptation is something else. By your grace I have learned this. And it is you who have taught us that the power of aspiration is infinitely stronger than the power of temptation. But how is it that temptation so often wins? Master, it seems to me that you are wrong in your assessment of aspiration and temptation.”
“My son, I am not wrong in the least. With your aspiration-power you realise God the Omnipotent. With your temptation-power you realise weak and mortal human beings. So you can see which power is infinitely greater.”
“Master, now I see why you say that aspiration-power is infinitely greater than temptation-power. But how is it that you have not given me aspiration-power in measureless measure so that I can realise God the Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent?”
“Son, I have given you aspiration-power. That power is growing inside you. Gradually its capacity is increasing. It is simply a matter of time, and then your aspiration will work most powerfully at full capacity.
“Son, your problem is not your ex-wife Nepali. Your problem is your attachment to the ignorant pleasure-life. Once you give up your pleasure-life, which is a life of destruction, the life of satisfaction will knock at your heart’s door. You are not the body; you are the soul. You are not the soul; you are the Goal. Forget about the body-consciousness, and you will become the soul-delight. Remember always the soul-delight, and you will grow into the God-height.”
“Then I shall immediately throw my Nepali-bundle into your compassion-sea, Master.”
“Son, I am so glad that you are doing this. In return, I shall take you to the Illumination-sea to swim with me.”
“Master, I am so glad that I will realise God before Nepali.”
“Son, since your Nepali-realisation will never come to an end, how do you expect me to grant you God-realisation?”
“Master, Master, forgive me. I am now entirely yours. I don’t want anybody to stand between us.”
The Master blessed him with all his heart’s joy and pride and said, “Nepali also has the right to claim God as her very own. So you must not stand between God and Nepali.”
“No, I won’t, Master. I give you my word of honour.”
“Son, then I give you my soul’s assurance that
God-Love will be yours,
God-Light will be yours,God-Pride will be yours,
God-Perfection will be yours,All yours.”
MSR 9. 23 January 1974↩
From:Sri Chinmoy,The Master surrenders, Vishma Press, New York, 1974
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/msr