Question: My tumour won't make any difficulty in my spiritual life?

Sri Chinmoy: Do not think of your tumour. Only think of God as much as you can. You may say that because of your tumour you are unable to pray to God more devotedly. If you were physically well, you could pray more, for a longer time. But I wish to say that there are many people here on earth who have sound health, good health, but they do not think of God at all. No, no! Boxers and wrestlers are very strong, but for them there is no God. You may say that because of your tumour you are unable to pray more devotedly and powerfully. But no, God gave you this tumour as an experience which He Himself is having in and through you, so you can look around and see that God's creation is full of suffering. If one suffers, then only one can appreciate and become one with the suffering of the rest of the world. If you do not suffer, you look around and you do not believe that there is suffering on earth. If you are all the time happy, then when you see suffering, you will say that it is all false; they are telling lies. "How can there be suffering when I am so happy?" Again, you have to know that there are others whose suffering is infinitely worse than yours. You have to feel, "God, You are so kind to me. Just a little tumour You have given me. If I go to the hospital, I will see thousands who are suffering infinitely more than I am."

The Christ suffered on the cross for you, for me, for the entire humanity. How he suffered for humanity! He was perfect, but he became one with the suffering of humanity. God said, "Now prove your oneness," so on the cross he proved it. Even then he asked his Father to forgive them, for they were all ignorant people. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." So if you take your tumour as an experience to help you become one with the rest of the world, the suffering world, then immediately you will be so happy. "God gave me the opportunity to become one with this person, that person. Otherwise, I could not have become one."

Many people live a vital life, emotional life, animal life. Physically they are human, but their consciousness is in the animal world, absolutely animal. In your case, God gave you suffering in order to make you pure enough so that your heart can identify with the rest of the world. But the worst suffering is ignorance. Your suffering is nothing in comparison to the suffering of the people who are ignorant, who are wallowing in the pleasures of ignorance. For them there is no light. For millions and millions of years they will have to remain in darkness. In your case, you are now fully awakened to see the Face of God, Truth and Light. The most difficult disease to remove is the layer of ignorance in our mind. You have removed it. So, your tumour is nothing, nothing, in comparison to the disease that most human beings have, and this disease lasts for millennia. In your case, it is gone. You are consciously aspiring. The moment you consciously aspire, rest assured that this disease is gone from you. Ignorance has gone away. [Sri Chinmoy then blesses Olga.]

Sri Chinmoy: You are a most beautiful, most wonderful soul. I have taken full responsibility for your soul, for your soul's aspiration, for your life's dedication, and I shall take full responsibility for your future incarnations, full responsibility. Inside my Universal Heart and my Transcendental Consciousness you will eternally grow, your soul will eternally glow. Your heart will eternally feel its inseparable oneness with my supreme Existence-Reality both in Heaven and on earth.

From:Sri Chinmoy,The meditation-world, Agni Press, 1977
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