I shall go on thinking of God, even if He does not think of me. I know that God, being the Justice-Light, will not remain indebted to me. He, too, one day shall start thinking of me.
I shall go on serving God, even if He does not help me. I know that God, being the Justice-King, will not remain indebted to me. He, too, one day shall start helping me.
I shall go on manifesting God, even if He does not manifest me. I know that God, being the Justice-Light, will not remain indebted to me. He, too, will one day start manifesting me.
Is it true that God does not love me? No, He does love me. I do not feel God’s Love precisely because I live in a desire-net and feel that this desire-net is God Himself. But my real God lives a few inches away from my desire-net, because He does not want to be caught by it. My desire-net I love; I feel that it is nothing short of God. But, to my wide surprise, my desire-net does not love me. Therefore, I feel that God, my Lord Supreme, does not love me.
Is it true that God does not think of me? No, God does think of me. But I do not feel that He thinks of me. Why? Precisely because I live in my thought-world. I extol my thought-world to the skies and feel that it embodies the highest Transcendental Reality. Poor God! He lives right beside my thought-world with His adamantine Will to illumine, perfect and, thus, to fulfil my thought-world. But I give Him no chance. I feel that I am self-sufficient. I feel that inside my thought-world I have the entire Creation — not only the entire Creation but also the Creator Himself, which is absurdity on the face of it.
Is it true that God does not help me? No, He does help me. But when I serve God, I feel a strong sense of pride. Constantly I see pride deep within me looming large. Poor God! My Lord Supreme enters into the chasm of my pride and feels that He is being suffocated. Therefore, He runs away.
Is it true that God does not manifest me? No, He does manifest me. But, unfortunately, I love my disproportionate ego. I feel that by loving my disproportionate ego, I will be able to cover the length and breadth of the world and thereby derive satisfaction from my life. My Lord Supreme tells me, “My son, I wanted to grant you satisfaction. Now I see that you have acquired satisfaction in your own way. I do not want to stand in your way. But a day shall come when you will feel that your satisfaction is nothing short of frustration. On that red-letter day, if you approach Me, I shall be more than willing to grant you My Way of satisfaction. Right now, since you want to be satisfied in your own way, I shall remain in pin-drop silence. And when the hour strikes for you to have divine satisfaction, all-illumining and all-fulfilling satisfaction, then come to Me. I shall give you all that I have for you and all that I am to you. All that I have for you is my infinite Compassion and all that I am to you is your Source, your Eternity’s Beloved Supreme.”
To feel God’s Love, what I need is a new purity heart.
To see that God thinks of me, what I need is a new serenity-mind.
To know that God helps me, what I need is a vital stronger than the strongest. This vital has to be founded on my boundless receptivity. In essence, what I need is a receptivity-vital larger than the largest in order to feel that my Lord Supreme at every moment helps me.
To observe that God manifests me, what I always need is a divinity-life. In my life of divinity and self-giving, without fail I shall observe my Lord Supreme’s constant, immortalising activity in and through me. My life of divine self-giving is based on my conscious awareness of who I am and what I am. Who am I? I am a supremely chosen instrument of my Beloved Supreme. Out of His infinite Bounty He has made me so. What am I? I am the eternal seeker and the eternal server. I seek and seek, endless is my search as I walk along Eternity’s Road. Sleeplessly and breathlessly I serve my Lord Supreme as I walk along Eternity’s Road soulfully, devotedly, unreservedly and unconditionally. This capacity of mine I have received unconditionally from my Eternity’s Beloved Supreme.
47. New York University; New York, New York, USA, 8 April 1978↩
From:Sri Chinmoy,The oneness of the Eastern heart and the Western mind, part 3, Agni Press, 2004
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/oeh_3