From my prayer-life and meditation-life I have learnt the importance of belief. There are many things that I do not see, and I cannot prove their existence to the world at large; but I do know that they exist somewhere. Similarly, I may not feel peace in my day-to-day life, but I believe that it exists in the inmost recesses of my heart, and this believing will eventually turn into seeing and feeling. Although the sky may be overcast with clouds, there shall come a time when the sun will be visible. Right now ignorance-night has covered my mental vision, but eventually my inner sun will come to the fore and inundate my mind of doubt with light and delight.
I am a seeker. That means I pray and meditate, and I practise my peace-life. I consciously try to live a life of self-giving, for I know that this is the only way to get peace of mind. If I can walk soulfully, devotedly and unconditionally along the path of self-giving, then I will be a perfect stranger to frustration and self-contradiction. Right now my life is all self-contradiction. This moment my inner being is flooded with faith; the next moment teeming doubts are covering my entire mind. Always I hear the song of self-contradiction. But if I can offer my life to the Supreme in others consciously, devotedly and unconditionally, and become the very breath of self-giving, then I will have no frustration or self-contradiction.
As a seeker I know that I become a victim to helplessness from time to time. But I also know that there is a way to conquer and illumine this helplessness — by turning to a higher force. When I feel helpless, it is because I know that my capacity is extremely limited. But I can get the guidance and assurance I need from a higher force by virtue of my prayer-life, my meditation-life, my aspiration-life and my dedication-life.
Although I aspire for peace of mind, very often I surrender to ignorance-night. Then I become very clever and invoke my Lord Supreme to inundate my mind with peace while I, on my part, do nothing. But my Lord Supreme, out of His infinite Bounty, tells me, “No, My child, let us play together. I am ready to give you Peace in infinite measure, but you have to receive what I give soulfully. I shall play My part generously and you have to play your role devotedly by being soulfully receptive. I shall give you what I have and what I am, and you will receive it with your heart’s inseparable oneness, light and delight.”
I need peace within; I need peace without. Although I have created my own outer world, I am afraid of it. Because I am afraid of it, I have no peace of mind. But since I am the owner of my outer world, I must not be frightened while dealing with it. I must be fully in charge of my creation, my outer world.
My inner world also has a Creator. My Lord Beloved Supreme is the Creator of my inner world. Out of His infinite Bounty, He has created me. That means He loves me; He loves me far, far beyond my imagination’s flight. Therefore, I must not be afraid of my Creator. It is absurd! What He needs from me is not fear but unconditional love. My love for Him and His Love for me will make me feel that He and I are inseparable, and that we have been singing the song of inseparable oneness from time immemorial.
OEH 98. University of Stockholm; Stockholm, Sweden, 17 July 1986.↩
From:Sri Chinmoy,The oneness of the Eastern heart and the Western mind, part 1, Agni Press, 2003
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/oeh_1