There are so many types of disobedience. If I tell my ‘best disciple’ to come at a certain hour and he comes late, that kind of disobedience is not very serious. When there is outer disobedience, God is more lenient and He forgives quickly. But when there is inner disobedience, God does not forgive so quickly. Very often He has to use His Justice-Power, because inner disobedience is almost an incurable disease. But eventually that disease has to be cured.
About your inner disobedience only you know and I know, only your soul knows and my soul knows. Before the wrong forces attack people, sometimes I see that they deliberately open the door to these forces. Knowing that a storm is coming, I can leave my door open and enjoy the storm. Then my room is completely destroyed. In the spiritual life also, sometimes I know that people are going to do something wrong even before they do it, because I see the forces attacking them. Sometimes I watch to see whether they are going to allow these forces to attack them, or whether they are going to fight against these forces. I observe whether they will allow these monkeys to come and bite them, or whether they are going to threaten the monkeys so they cannot bite.From:Sri Chinmoy,Sri Chinmoy answers, part 12, Agni Press, 1999
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