Sri Chinmoy answers, part 16

Part I

Before the _Lifting Up the World with a Oneness-Heart_ programme¹

From this moment on, I shall grow in the very depths of your aspiration-heart every day, and every moment the beauty and fragrance of your hearts will please our Lord Beloved Supreme. I am extremely happy to have you all in our boat, the Golden Boat. And this boat will without fail carry all of us to the Golden Shore.

Once more, to each of you my heart of love and my life of gratitude I am offering.

Part II

Question: How can we avoid criticising someone?

Question: How can we be tolerant of the people around us when we see they are not so perfect?

Question: There are disciples who are faithful to you, but they do not believe in God.

But if I feel deep inside my heart that I am a good person, then no matter what anyone says, even if twenty people say that I am a bad person, I will not believe them because my heart is telling me that I am a good person. I know that I have done many good things in this life. My mind can tell me twenty times that I am a good person, but still I do not believe my mind. I say, “Perhaps it is true, perhaps it is not true.”

Question: When I meditate at the Centre, it is good, but when I meditate alone, I often have the feeling of fear.

Question: Is it good to leave my son and family and go somewhere else to meditate when I cannot meditate at home?

Part III

A farewell to Yugoslavian disciples³

As in a school there are some good students and some students who are not as good, in the spiritual life there are also some good students and some poor students. I wish all of you to make a bold attempt to become excellent students of our Lord Beloved Supreme. I would like all of you to run the fastest. The things that are unnecessary and unaspiring, the things that may lead you to stray from the spiritual path, please, please, please, even in your wildest dreams, do not encourage or cherish. Run the fastest.

Very special Blessings you have from our Lord Supreme, my dearest Yugoslavian children. Anything that will stand in your way, anything that will delay your progress, please discard it consciously and immediately. The goal is for the brave and the swift. Those who can run the fastest in the spiritual life will get the highest reward. Therefore, at every moment, consciously, soulfully, devotedly and self-givingly, try to run the fastest and thus make our Lord Beloved Supreme extremely, extremely proud of you.

Since we are all seekers, we do believe in the existence of the soul. The soul flies in the firmament of Infinity, sleeplessly and eternally, like a bird. Birds symbolise the soul, the celestial soul. Let us all grow into most beautiful and dynamic souls, so that we can, at every moment, fly in the heart of Infinity’s Sky.

Part IV

Question: The hostile forces seem to be increasing and making progress, and the good forces seem to be losing strength. How is it possible that the good forces will ever win?

Question: In your New Year's Message you mentioned in the last two lines 'My Transcendental Silence-Crown and my Universal Sound-Throne'. Can you say something about that?

Only eleven more months remain in this year. So let us have patience. With our aspiration and eagerness, we can also expedite God’s absolute Height. Our receptivity is nothing other than gratitude. As soon as we can offer an iota of gratitude to God, our receptivity increases.

Question: Could you give us a meditation or concentration technique to develop discrimination-power?

Question: My father committed suicide eleven years ago and it still disturbs me. He had cancer and had three months to live, so he took his life.

On rare occasions, spiritual Masters may leave their physical body because they know that God’s choice Hour has come for them. It is God’s Will. But for ordinary people, it is the worst possible inner crime. In the case of your father, he has departed, but you are still here on earth. You can pray to God for forgiveness for your father. The dear ones remaining on earth can pray to God.

Question: At the public meditation you talked about the crying child within. If we are concentrating on your Transcendental picture, can we try to see the crying child in that and identify with it there?

Question: Are there certain pieces of music that are best to listen to at certain times of the day?

Question: One of the older disciples in my Centre is very discouraged by something she read in one of your books. You said that older people in their fifties very often cease to make spiritual progress because at that age the vital is either impure or tired and it stops giving determination to the mind. This disciple got discouraged and said, "What hope is there? I am in my fifties."

Question: How can we know if we are trying to work on too many projects and not getting enough sleep?

The same amount of energy, the same level of consciousness you have in one job you will carry with you when you enter into a new job. Imagine that you are climbing up stairs. First comes one step, then the second, then the third. If you use your common sense, after each step you can see that you are getting tired. You will say, “I have to climb up like this twenty flights!” But if you use your heart’s wisdom, you will feel that after each step a fleeting second you are getting before the next step. This is your golden chance. You can say, “Here I am getting rest.”

Question: How is it that the memory of first seeing you has such capacity to lift our consciousness up very quickly?

Then, over the years, the story changes. After three months or six months most disciples come to feel that the Master has to please them fifty per cent and they have to please the Master fifty per cent. They are prepared to meet him half-way. After a few more years the disciples feel that the Master has to come ninety-nine steps, and they will go one step. And then, what is worse, some disciples do not want to take even one step. The Master has to come the full one hundred steps.

So I beg each and every disciple to remember that golden day when he or she accepted the spiritual life, what kind of attitude you had at that time. You wanted one hundred per cent to become an excellent disciple. I am begging you once again to become an excellent disciple, to have constant love for the Master and constant surrender to God’s Will. Each individual started with an excellent attitude. But unfortunately each year a heavy, heavier, heaviest burden of demand and expectation covers your inner wisdom.

To all of you I am saying, just remember the first day you became a disciple. For one week, one month or two months how sincere, how pure, how surrendered you were. Then after five or ten or fifteen or twenty years, what inner demands you began to make. In the beginning, you wanted to establish inner, direct contact with my highest consciousness. Your inner cry like a magnet drew my heart’s love for you and my pride in you. But now there is no disciple who is unconditionally surrendered.

Another thing which applies to all the disciples without exception: if you see that somebody is even one step in front of you, all your inner joy disappears. And if you see that nobody is ahead of you, still you have to look around to make sure there is an audience. Others should see you are the closest. First you see if somebody is ahead of you. If nobody is ahead of you, you feel very, very proud, very happy and pleased with yourself. Then you turn around to see if others are seeing that you are the nearest, you are the dearest. Each and every disciple in that sense has fallen. ‘Fallen’ is an understatement. Previously only you and your Master existed in your life. Now each disciple needs hundreds of witnesses.

Question: I have been taking driving lessons and I wonder if I am going to pass.

In Jamaica, West Indies, one ex-disciple failed her driving test at least five times. It was too much, too much! Her husband did not have proper vision, so she had to learn. Every time she failed, she was so miserable. I was miserable too. When the sixth time came, I said to her, “All right, for God’s sake, this time you have to pass.” Luckily, that time she passed.

Whether you pass or fail in your driving, even if you fail one hundred times, I will not feel miserable. I will feel miserable only if your consciousness descends. If you are driving inwardly with aspiration and dedication and that aspiration or dedication descends, then I will feel miserable. Otherwise, when it is a matter of these outer things, you will try your best to pass the examination, but when you are here in front of your Master if you have to think of your driving test, whether you will pass or fail, then it is a waste of time. There are infinitely more important things to do when you are in front of your Master.

Question: In one of your poems you say to try to be pleased with yourself all the time. If you feel sad, frustrated or disappointed because a lot of things you didn't do or you did wrong, then how can you be pleased with yourself?

Part V

Question: Yesterday you were talking about the prayer "Let Thy Will be done." Is it wrong to pray for something specific?

Question: Lately I've read many things about the power of positive thinking. If you really want something, should you say, "Supreme, make it happen if it is Thy Will," or should you affirm, "This _will_ happen"?

Question: Is it wrong to pray for any desire?

Question: Does God necessarily fulfil your desire if it is based on greed?

Question: My question is regarding manifestation and spirituality. Often, I find that more manifestation means less opportunity to become spiritually stronger. How does one find the proper balance?

As individuals we have so much eagerness to see our own improvement, to make progress. Now, if we can identify ourselves with others, will we not have the same kind of eagerness for their improvement? We are ready to offer our time, energy and everything for our own aspiration because we want to become perfect. Now God says, “Even though you are not yet perfect, I want you to help your little brother, to bring him up to a certain standard.” You are one step ahead of that person. That is why God is asking you to do it. God is not asking a third person to do the same. God is not asking the other person to come and advise you. God is not asking me to take advice when I go out into the street. But He is telling me, “If you see somebody who is sincere, somebody who is receptive, give him what you have. Give him your energy, give him your light.”

So coming back to aspiration, when you meditate early in the morning, even if you meditate for only fifteen minutes, if you can meditate well, then that meditation-power easily lasts throughout the day. But that meditation has to be very strong. If you fill the tank of your car with gas early in the morning, then you can cover hundreds of miles. Then again, the following day you can refill it. But if there is no gas to start with in the morning, how are you going to cover the distance? In the morning, many, many disciples do not pray or meditate. They are just fooling themselves. For two minutes or three minutes some people will sit in front of the shrine. Then they feel that that is enough.

Early in the morning, at three o’clock or four o’clock, do I tell you to go outside and put up some posters or to go to some television station? First things first. I always say aspiration must come first. Then after your meditation is over, you can go out and do manifestation, which is your dedication. While you are meditating most sincerely, even though you are not thinking of dedication at that time, inwardly God is giving you the energy that you will need in your dedication-life.

It is like morning exercise at home. At home early in the morning you take stretching exercises. Then afterwards you go out to the track and start sprinting. At home you are only stretching. But while you are stretching your legs or doing various postures with your body, God is giving you energy. He is making you ready to enter into the battlefield of life and race against ignorance.

What happens quite often with the disciples is that as soon as they do one thing, they think of the other. When it is time to do dedicated service, they think of aspiration. Then when they are meditating early in the morning, they think of dedication. When it is time to eat, at that time they think of sleeping. And when it is time to sleep, at that time they think of eating. This is what is happening most of the time. When they are doing some dedicated work, they ask themselves why they are not aspiring. They say to themselves, “If I do not meditate, how will it be possible for me to realise God?” And then when they are meditating, after five seconds they think that if they do not go out and do some manifestation, then Guru will not be pleased. All the time, they feel that the other thing is more important. While they are aspiring they think that manifestation is infinitely more important. While manifesting they think that aspiration is infinitely more important. But, according to me, they are equally important.

A long jumper knows that if he steps on the board with his left foot, then he will be able to jump well, but if he steps with the right, he will not be able to jump well at all. How many people can take off with either leg and cover the same distance? One leg is always stronger. Again, the other leg helps while the jumper is coming to the board. At that time he is using both left and right. He is not coming only with the left leg. It is impossible. Here also, in life we have to use both aspiration and dedication. We have to see aspiration inside dedication and dedication inside aspiration. But while we are manifesting, we should not think that aspiration is more important. And while we are praying or meditating, we should not think that manifestation is more important. We will only ruin our aspiration, and we will not do either thing well.

On our path, a minimum of two times daily one should try to meditate for fifteen minutes. Out of fifteen minutes, hardly three minutes people usually meditate well. Nobody can tell me that right from the very start they have raised their consciousness to the highest. It does not happen. I see that it takes time. So out of fifteen minutes, perhaps you can expect at least five minutes of good meditation. Otherwise, no disciple of mine can meditate for fifteen minutes in their highest height.

Coming back to the point, do not neglect your aspiration. First things first. But if you cannot do the first thing, at least do the second thing, which is dedication. They go together. Again, if you cannot do your morning meditation well, at least do your evening meditation well. Of course, the ideal thing will be, when morning dawns, to do your morning meditation extremely well. When it is noon, meditate again. Then in the evening, once more do it. In this way, you will have no problem at all.

You know that eating breakfast is one thing, lunch is something else, and supper is something completely different. We do not eat our dinner at breakfast time. They have to be done one after another. Similarly, if you can meditate three times a day most soulfully — ten minutes in the morning, ten minutes at noon, ten minutes in the evening — then you will be able to value everything. When aspiration is needed, you will be able to give full value to aspiration. When dedication is needed, you will be able to give full value to dedication. After aspiration comes dedication and manifestation. If there is no aspiration, dedication cannot come into existence. So let us aspire early in the morning. Right after our aspiration, God will give us boundless energy and opportunities for dedication. And while we are performing our dedicated service, we will see that it is God’s Divinity within us that is being manifested.

I do not see any conflict between aspiration and dedication, provided they are being done at the time they are needed. Without aspiration how can one climb up the tree? Again, will it be fair if you climb up the tree and sit on the topmost branch, enjoying the fruit to your heart’s content, while at the foot of the tree your dear ones are crying for a mango? Will you be able to devour the mangoes all by yourself? No, your heart will break because your aspiration demands sincerity, concern and compassion. Aspiration is something divine in you that lifts you up. Based on that divine thing, you are on the top of the tree. If something divine lifted you up, and the same divine thing still keeps you up, then will that divine part of you not ask you to come down? It is not your spiritual descent; it is only to offer the fruits to others so they too can eventually be strong enough to climb up the way you have climbed up.

Question: What is the best way to distinguish between the mind's desire and the soul's will?

Question: What can we do when the body always obstructs our spiritual achievement in the outer world, like swimming the English Channel?

Question: What is the best way for me to make progress in the battle against lethargy and self-indulgence?

Question: I am wondering about the advisability of a very small Centre having public meditations as a form of manifestation.

Question: How can I know if I am making progress?

Question: In some kinds of manifestation I find that I don't often have as much fun because they are more competitive. Should those certain things not be done?

Part VI

Question: How can I be more obedient?

You have to choose which boss you are going to obey. You have to ask yourself if the one that is asking you not to get up is telling you the right thing. In the morning if you do not get up when you are supposed to get up, you will feel miserable when you want to do the next thing. At eight o’clock if you have to go to work, you will feel miserable because the first thing — your meditation — you have not done. Then at eight o’clock if you do not go to work because you have gone out running, more problems will arise. If you are late for each activity, you will get pain when you want to do the next thing. The first thing will come into your mind and ruin all your joy. When you are going to work — the second thing — you will feel sad about the first thing — that you did not get up to meditate. Then, if you do not go to work, if you do something else, you will say, “O my God, first I did not get up, and then I did not go to work.” Now you have missed two things. So it accumulates, accumulates.

We say the past is dust. All right, early in the morning you could not get up. That is past. But now do the second thing. In the examination the teacher has given you five or six questions. If you cannot answer one, do not look at that question. If you look at it, you will only waste your precious time and energy saying, “O my God, I am unable to answer it.” That kind of worry and anxiety will ruin all your joy. Then you will not be able to answer the four or five questions which you know so well. Your mind will be loaded with anxiety and worry: “What will happen? I will not get 100 out of 100.” Instead you have to forget about that question immediately. There are six questions and you are able to answer five, but the sixth one will bother you if you do not throw it out of your mind.

In the same way, during the day you have so many things to do. If you have missed the first one, forget about it. There are still five, six, ten things you have to do. If you do all the rest of the things, then you will again have strength. You will have tremendous joy that you have done this, this and this.

Obedience must come from the heart. In the morning the mind or the vital asks you not to get up. So you listen to that boss, but you do not listen to the real boss: your heart. Always you have to see where the command is coming from. Do not think that you are the boss. When you do not get up, you simply say that you did not get up. No, what actually happened is that somebody asked you not to get up. You have to identify that someone. When you do something wrong, you have to feel that somebody has instigated you.

When you do something wrong, you immediately say, “I did not do it,” or if you are clever, you put the blame on another human being. But if you put the blame on something inside you, if you know that it is something within you, your mind or your vital that instigates you to do the wrong thing, then you can challenge that something and eventually it will surrender. Again, your heart is there to inspire you to do the right thing.

Question: When we are speaking to seekers, what is the one quality in ourselves that we should try to bring forward in order to bring forward their hearts and their receptivity?

Let us say you have been studying in a class for three or four years, and someone has only recently joined your class. Naturally you will know more than that person. So you are helping him out before the teacher comes. You will try to teach him a little before he comes to the real teacher. In this case, I happen to be the teacher. Again, I will also lead the students to another teacher. I take them to the real Teacher, God. Only if you have humility can you lead the students to the right Teacher.

Otherwise, when some of the disciples give courses, O God, they all act like God-realised souls! They think that if they act like God-realised souls, people will think they are very high. When the new seekers come, they will feel that these disciples have climbed up the Himalayas and now they have condescended to come down to the foot of the Himalayas to take up some new seekers. When these older disciples tell the new seekers about the spiritual life, they make the new seekers feel that they themselves are on the top of the Himalayas, and the newcomers are at the foot of the Himalayas. Then the poor seekers look up and say, “O my God, we will never be able to reach that height. We will not be able to climb up the Himalayas. It is so high. At any moment those old disciples will go back to the topmost heights and then they will not return to teach us.” So these beginners are totally lost.

That is not the right approach. You have to be on their level. You are all in the same class or the same family, but you happen to know a little more than they do. I always say that I am the eldest brother in the family. I know a little more than you do, so that is why God has asked me to take you to Him. I am your oldest brother. I came into this spiritual family long before you did. Before you were even born, I started praying and meditating. Now I know a little more. So I am telling you all, “Come with me. I will be able to tell you where our Father is.”

Similarly, you will also have to tell the new seekers, “Come with me. I will be able to show you where my teacher is, where my source is. He is the source of knowledge, wisdom and love.” Then when they come to me, I will tell them where my Source of wisdom is. I will lead them to the Supreme. This is the way to bring new seekers.

When you are dealing with seekers, you do not have that problem. You mix with them on their level. But there are some disciples who do not want to be on the same level. They want to be high above. I am begging all the disciples who give classes to be on the same level as the beginners. Do not make them feel that you are very high, on the top of the Himalayas. Then they will be totally lost. When you make them feel that you have reached the goal, but you have condescended to come down and lead them to the goal, that is a real mistake.