Cherishing something unconsciously

Many times I see that the disciples are cherishing something unconsciously. If you are cherishing something unconsciously, your mind is not aware of it. But there comes a time when you get the results of what you are cherishing in the form of pleasure. At that time you are not disgusted; you like it. You are getting a kind of joy or pleasure or comfort, but you do not know why you are getting it. It is not that consciously you have done something. But still you are getting the after-effect. The consciousness of the action you are getting. The fruit is at your disposal, and you are eating the fruit voraciously, like a greedy person. When you get the result, you could say, “This very thing I did not want. Although it looks delicious, I know the after-effect is poisonous.” But what do you do? You become clever. You eat it consciously, and then you simply say you are not to blame. You say you didn’t do it; you didn’t want the fruit but somebody brought it. “It came to me. I am not responsible.” But you are eating it consciously.

The first time that you eat, immediately you say, “I am not the culprit. Somebody has stolen something and left it in my room.” Nobody says that you stole it, but the very fact that you are eating it or you are using it, is enough for you to be the culprit in the inner world. Consciously you have not gone to anybody’s house to steal. But when you enjoy it, you open up the door. And the next time somebody throws this thing in front of you, you are again ready to utilise it. It is something alluring, something tempting. Unconsciously you are cherishing the thing when it is placed before you.

Somebody places doubt inside your mind. You cherish it, and doubt itself becomes wisdom for you. When you have doubt, immediately you feel it is not doubt; it is a proud wisdom. Everywhere in the world, when people doubt, they feel they are very wise. They feel that other people are credulous. They say, “Look at their stupidity!” Just because they themselves don’t believe in something, they feel they are wise. This is their self-imposed wisdom, that they are cherishing. But if we live the spiritual life, we go deep within and we try to believe. God is for believers. When we believe in something twenty times, if we are deceived, God will forgive us. If I believe you, and again and again you deceive me, God will forgive me. But if I doubt and you doubt and the world doubts without rhyme or reason, then no progress will ever be made. If you doubt, you have to feel that you are not entering into the game. If you believe, you are entering into the game, although you may lose if somebody has deceived you. But if you doubt, you don’t even enter into the game. And then what can you do?

Enter into the game and see; maybe somebody will teach you how to play. Enter into the game and see your fate. If it is good, naturally you will win in the battlefield of life. If it is bad, then feel that you have Eternity at your disposal. But if you don’t play at all, if you stay off on the sidelines, thinking all the time that the game is too dangerous, then how are you going to win in the battlefield of life? At that time there is no game, no fun. “If I play football, something will happen to my foot. If I throw shotput once, my fingers may be ruined.” There is no end to fear. Life is always illumination. It comes only to those who are brave, who face life, not to those who are afraid of life.

From:Sri Chinmoy,Sri Chinmoy speaks, part 6, Agni Press, 1976
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