The fear of not pleasing one's Master

A disciple can easily overcome the fear of not pleasing his Master if, during his meditation, for only two minutes or even two seconds he can remember a smile or a blessing that he has received from the Master at some time. If once I have shown you boundless affection outwardly, as inwardly I always do, or if there is any special thing which you feel I have done for you, then out of that particular incident you can conquer this fear.

Let us say that I meditated in front of your shrine most powerfully. Then you should say to yourself, “If Guru is not pleased with me will he meditate in front of my shrine?” Always ask yourself this kind of question. There are hundreds of things I have done for you about which you can simply ask, “If he is not pleased with me, how or why will he do this?” Then, the moment fear comes, say to yourself, “Definitely I am pleasing him; otherwise he wouldn’t do this kind of thing for me.”

When your sacrifice, your service and your loving adoration are not recognised by me or by others, say to yourself, “I am glad.” Don’t feel that I am displeased with you just because I haven’t recognised your loving and devoted service, your supreme sacrifice. No, I have acknowledged it in the inner world. The moment it is done you are blessed, appreciated, adored.

Sometimes you expect something from life and, if that particular thing is going to be denied, fear enters into you. For example, I may ask a disciple to get his Master’s degree. Then later I might tell him, “You don’t have to get your degree; now stop studying.” If the disciple listens to me cheerfully and says, “Guru, I don’t need a Master’s degree,” then he conquers his fear. Always try to feel that the thing that is most necessary and indispensable in your life is already given to you and that is aspiration. The most important thing in your life you have already been given. So if you remain in that aspiration, there can be no fear.

Sometimes it happens that you are pleasing me, but the hostile forces get malicious pleasure by telling you that you are not pleasing me. When the forces start telling you this, tell them it is not so. Always separate yourself from anything that creates problems. The moment the fear comes that you are not pleasing me, throw it away. Write down one hundred times the questions and answers I have mentioned and you will see that the answers are so satisfactory that fear automatically goes away; fear will disappear.

So if you fear that you are not pleasing me, I wish to say that if I really come first in your life, then you can always feel that you are pleasing me. Again, you have to feel that there is no end to your pleasing me. All my spiritual children have to feel that I really come first in their life.

From:Sri Chinmoy,Three strangling sisters: fear, jealousy and insecurity, Agni Press, 1974
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