The Master's relief

There lived a very compassionate spiritual Master. One day his absolutely worst disciple came up to him and said, "Master, Master, forgive me, forgive me! I have done many, many things wrong. I have never pleased you. I have never meditated well. I have never served you. I have quarrelled with my spiritual brothers and sisters. I have lived an undivine, unforgivable emotional life. But Master, you have always forgiven me, and for that I am most grateful to you. Master, I have a most sincere desire, and this is my last desire on earth. I see clearly that you will not live on earth for long. Please fulfil my last desire."

The Master said, "What is your last desire, Jimut?"

"My last desire is that when you leave the body, either at that particular moment or some other time on that very day, I want to leave the body too. Here I have not been able to meditate well. I have not been able to serve you. I have done everything wrong and undivine. But you have always forgiven me. If you will grant me this boon, I will be so happy, so grateful, so delighted. If I can leave when you leave, in Heaven I can please you in every way."

The Master said, "Look here, I am not dying today. Can you not try to please me in the present, while I am still here on earth?"

Jimut said, "I try my best, Master, but my vital life, my insincere life, my ignorance-life is so strong that I can't please you no matter how sincerely I try."

"If you sincerely try, you can please me. But you don't try sincerely. That is the problem. You want to please me in Heaven at some future date, but you don't care to please me here and now."

"Please, please tell me how. I really want to please you."

"Not only today, but for my remaining days on earth?"

"Yes, yes! I really want to please you always."

"Then leave me at this very moment. Leave me, leave my ashram. I will be really happy if I don't see you any more."

"O Master, Master, you are so cruel to me. So cruel!"

"Look here. You want to go with me to Heaven, but here you have made my life a real hell. Now if I take you with me when I die, you will transform Heaven into hell. No matter where I take you, you will transform it into hell. So what am I going to do with you?"

"It is true, Master, that wherever you take me, I transform that place into hell. But I wish to tell you that wherever you are is my Heaven. I have no other Heaven. No matter where you go, it is my Heaven. Whenever I am with you, I am in Heaven. You may take it as hell whenever I am with you, but I feel that I am in Heaven. So, Master, either you have to please yourself or you have to please me. Needless to say, since you are my Master, your heart is infinitely more vast than mine. You will always forgive me, and I know you will make this great sacrifice for me. I know it. Wherever you go, if you allow me to go, then I shall feel that I am in Heaven. Will you not make this sacrifice for me? When we are in Heaven together, you will call it hell and I will call it Heaven."

The Master said, "Tell me, what do you want? Do you want me to please you, do you want me to please myself, do you want me to please God within you or do you want me to please God within me?"

Jimut said, "If I live in the desire-life, then I want you to please me, Master. That is to say, I want you to take me wherever you go. But if I live in the aspiring life, then I will tell you to do whatever is best for me and for you. That is to say, if you want to go to Heaven without me, then don't take me. I only want to please you and I will be equally satisfied with whatever you do."

The Master said, "Ultimately what do you want? You want to please me both in Heaven and on earth, right?"

"Yes, Master," said Jimut.

"Then if that is your wish, why don't you start satisfying me? Don't lead this undivine lower vital emotional life. Don't quarrel and fight with other disciples. Lead a sincere life, a life of aspiration and dedication. Start to please me here. If you please me here, only then will you be able to please me in Heaven or wherever I take you. Start pleasing me here and now, and then think of the future. If you don't please me in the present, what makes you think that you will be able to please me in the future? If the tree is a good one, it produces good and delicious mangoes again and again. But if it is a bad tree, then it will always produce bad fruit. You have to change your life altogether. Right from now turn yourself into a good tree, a divine tree, and start producing divine fruit. Divine fruit is love, devotion, surrender and oneness. Dedicate your life to the Supreme in me unconditionally and unreservedly. If you please me now, then you can please me in the future. If you please me unconditionally here, then you can please me everywhere. Therefore, for God's sake, please me by leaving me. Go away and thus do me the greatest favour on earth."

Jimut said, "Master, although to leave you is the most difficult task, I will do it, I can do it, I am doing it. Lo, I have done it." He fell at the Master's feet, took his blessing for the last time and left.

The Master said to himself, "At long last God has showered His Compassion on me."

From:Sri Chinmoy,A yogi's justice, an Avatar's Justice and God's Justice, Agni Press, 1974
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/yj