Part I — Questions and answers

Question: Guru, many years ago I told you that my father had an unusual experience. You said that it was a very high experience, but my father did not value it. When somebody gets a very high experience like this from God, does God not know that the person might not be ready for it, or might not take it the right way?¹

Sri Chinmoy: Some seekers pray to God again and again, “Give me a high experience.” God knows perfectly well that they may not use the experience properly. A little child begs and begs his mother to give him a dollar. The mother knows that her child is not going to use the money wisely or value it. Instead of buying some proper food with the dollar, perhaps the child will get some candy. Poor God, poor mother! Their children are begging and begging. To stop them from begging, God and the mother give their children what they want. But again, the children may not value it.

If God wants to give millions and billions of experiences to human beings, He will not look to see whether those particular individuals are going to use the experiences properly. Let us say I give you a mango. Either you can eat it all by yourself, or you can give pieces of the mango to others. I am not responsible at that time. In the same way, God is not responsible. Common sense says that if a high, lofty experience has descended upon someone from Above, that person will be so happy, so pleased, so thrilled. But sometimes, if you put something very beautiful and expensive, like jewellery, in front of a child, he feels that it has no value. He just grabs it and throws it away. Again, in the famous story about Hanuman, he saw that Lord Rama was not present in the locket he had received, so he threw it away. It was such an expensive locket, but he threw it away. This was Hanuman’s devotion to Lord Rama!

Many times people get high experiences, but they do not value them, they do not value them. Again, some people get simple, ordinary experiences, but they feel that those experiences are very high, from a very lofty region. They value those so-called minor experiences. Because they value the minor experiences, God becomes very pleased, and then He gives them very high experiences.

This world is so complicated! The day God created the world, complication began, because God created the mind, also. How many times do we use our heart to see the reality in its own way? Very rarely.

Question: Why is Thomas Jefferson not fully appreciated?²

Sri Chinmoy: Who has been fully appreciated? Has anybody on earth been fully appreciated? Was the Saviour Jesus Christ fully appreciated? Will anybody who has the high, higher, highest vision be fully appreciated? God knows how many years it will take. Those individuals will be appreciated only long after the unimportant ones are appreciated.

The higher you go, the more you will be misunderstood. Appreciation comes from God, in the form of His Blessings.

Question: Guru, with seekers from established spiritual cultures whom we meet around the world, one of the most difficult things is to make them feel how our path is different from the traditional spirituality they were raised with. I am wondering if you could offer some advice.³

Sri Chinmoy: It will take time for some cultures to understand our yoga because they have their own way of thinking. Our path may be different from other paths, needless to say, but we will never say our goal is different from theirs — no! The Ultimate Goal is the same. Whether an individual follows Lord Buddha’s path, or Sri Ramakrishna’s path, or Sri Krishna’s path, the Ultimate Goal is always the same. But when we arrive at the goal, we may call that goal by different names. The goal is the same, but we may call it by any name, according to our liking.

First my name was Ganapati. Then it became Madal, then Chinmoy, Sri Chinmoy and, for my disciples, Guru. All those names refer to the same person. Like that, sometimes it happens that we arrive at the same goal, but we give different names to the goal.

Again, people may misunderstand our way. Those who live in the mind will often misunderstand. There were spiritual Masters of the highest order who did not write books, did not compose songs or poems, did not create thousands of paintings. In so many fields, specially with regard to physical fitness and exercise, other spiritual Masters did not take part, so it is very easy for people to misunderstand me.

People may say that other spiritual Masters meditate for hours and hours inside their rooms or in their own Himalayan caves. In my case, some people will say I am spending so many hours in all my outer activities, so when do I meditate? But these people will not understand, or will not even believe, that there is a kind of meditation which is called untiring, ceaseless meditation. There is such a stage. It is most difficult, unimaginably difficult to attain to that stage. Many, many spiritual Masters, even those of the highest order, could not attain to that stage. At that point the soul, or we can say the Inner Pilot, is constantly meditating. I meditate in front of the disciples, here and there. But inside me there is constant meditation, which nobody will be able to see. Who will be able to believe, even, what I am?

On the human level, sometimes, it takes a few minutes, half an hour or even hours for an individual to enter into his highest. You know what is your highest consciousness. Some people take a very long time, while others can reach that stage in the twinkling of an eye. Whether you believe it or not, in the twinkling of an eye I can go to my highest. Most of the time I am in my highest, but if I am not in my highest, even if I am chatting with the disciples, in a matter of a few seconds I can go to the highest.

We have not come into the world to prove anything. We have come into the world to complete a game in our own way — that is to say, the way the Supreme has chosen for us.

Some people believe in yoga. Some people believe that if you do japa millions of times, that is meditation. I never did japa in India — never! Japa my brother Mantu did. He repeated Lord Shiva’s name: “Shiv, Shiv, Shiv, Shiv, Shiv.” Here in America, two or three years ago I did some japa. Spiritual Masters of the highest order were inwardly saying, “What are you doing?” I said, “I want to do japa now. I did not do it in India, so now I am trying japa.” They said it was absolutely unnecessary for me.

Some spiritual Masters realised God in this incarnation, but your Guru, Sri Chinmoy, did not realise God only in this incarnation — no, no! Many, many, many years ago, hundreds of years ago, I attained my God-realisation. It was not in this incarnation. In this life, between the ages of thirteen and fourteen, I was revising my God-realisation-book. I was revising it very fast, very fast. Let us say somebody has studied a book and he knows everything in the book. After some time he reviews the book and brings everything to the fore very quickly.

In this incarnation also, in my early years, I meditated seriously for hours every day. I did not have any disciples at that time. I meditated for years at seven minutes past two in the morning. I started doing that after my Guru came to me inwardly every day for ten days or so to inspire me to get up at that time. I meditated in my room, I meditated in the street. While cycling I meditated. At home, while I was eating with my older brothers and sisters, I was also meditating. Sometimes I would recline with my legs up while eating, but my eldest brother, who specially deserved respect, did not mind how I was eating. My other family members also did not mind. That peculiar habit I have not given up: eating while lying down. Thousands of years ago also I did that.

Some seekers, some cultures have their own system. They say that if you pray, if you meditate, if you practise all kinds of disciplines, then you are spiritual. But I wish to say that spirituality is in consciousness. While walking, you can think of your breakfast or you can think of your enemies; you can think of anything. Again, while walking you can meditate. Sri Ramakrishna was often walking and meditating, mile after mile. He also meditated under the Panchavati tree. When Sri Aurobindo’s legs were in good condition, for six or seven hours he used to meditate while walking. Lord Buddha used to meditate while walking. Afterwards he meditated at the foot of the Bodhi tree. Every day Mahavira, while walking mile after mile, was meditating. There were many spiritual Masters who used to meditate while walking. In my case, while cycling also I did very good meditation.

God alone knows why, out of two thousand people or more, the Mother of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram chose me to meditate in Sri Aurobindo’s room. To four or five disciples the Mother gave permission to meditate once a month in Sri Aurobindo’s room, on the first of the month. For three months we meditated. The leader of that group was so kind to me. He inspired me or compelled me to learn English metre. Today I know English metre and English poetry because he encouraged me to learn. One day he told me, “I have got permission from the Mother for you to meditate in Sri Aurobindo’s room.” I could not believe it. In the South Indian heat, from one o’clock to one-thirty we were supposed to meditate there. According to the Mother’s assistant, instead of meditating, some of us were fast asleep in the South Indian heat!

When the Mother heard this news, she withdrew her invitation to the group. But then she sent me a message: every day I must come and meditate. With that small group, once a month I meditated in Sri Aurobindo’s room for three months. Then the Mother’s assistant told me to come every morning to Sri Aurobindo’s door, to an important place where the Mother and Sri Aurobindo used to give darshan.

Again I am saying that my meditation is of a totally different type. Everybody’s meditation is unique in its own way. In our spiritual life, why should a garden have only one kind of flower? There should be other flowers. If one garden has roses plus other flowers, will somebody go to a garden where there is only a rose? That person will say, “No, I would like to have other flowers as well.” There are some stores where special things are sold, but why do we go to the supermarket? Because everything is there.

Alas, Swami Vivekananda had critics. Once he and his spiritual brothers were dancing while musical instruments were being played. They were dancing, dancing and dancing, and they were chanting very soulfully. Sri Chaitanya’s path is also like that. Singing and dancing, they go forward in the street. That is their style.

An American lady had given Swami Vivekananda a great deal of money. Some critics said to that American lady, “Look, look! What have you done? You gave him so much money, and now they are dancing! Indian meditation means to sit cross-legged and be very serious, one-pointed. Instead of that, Swami Vivekananda and his group are dancing here!”

This lady was a Westerner, but she also thought that Indian meditation had to be practised inside the Himalayan caves or in a closet, so she became upset. The critics convinced her that Indian meditation is meant to take place always inside a closet, with no public show.

Again, some spiritual figures are afraid of meditating in front of thousands of people. They feel that all the undivine forces, the lower vital forces of the audience will attack them, so the best thing is for them to meditate inside a small room. Alas, alas! People who are afraid of facing the world still have to deal with their own mind. They can remain in their room, but their mind, like a magnet, can invite millions of thoughts, unhealthy and unaspiring.

Some followers of Sri Krishna’s path here in America, in Russia and all over the world are dancing and dancing. I am very grateful to them for offering their aspiration. They have found their way in devotional dancing. We have found our way: through our Peace-Blossoms, our Peace Run and World Harmony Run and so many other activities. We do not have to convince any seekers that our way is the best way. We will only say that our way is one way. Their ways are their ways. We cannot convince anybody. If I am satisfied with ice cream, I will eat ice cream. I do not have to worry what others say about ice cream.

It is very difficult for some seekers to accept other ways. Then again, the same people, when they see that the rest of the world has claimed someone, will also claim that individual. Three weeks before Tagore got the Nobel Prize, in one magazine a poem of his was mercilessly criticised. The critic said the poem was simply horrible. Three weeks later, what happened? The same critic, in the same newspaper, said so many nice things about that poem. It was absurd, unimaginable! He extolled Tagore to the skies for that poem. Before Tagore received the Nobel Prize, that critic gave Tagore his ruthless criticism.

Before Swami Vivekananda became well known, nobody paid attention to him. He had a few devotees here and there, and some critics. But once Swami Vivekananda became famous, once the Western world accepted him, his compatriots claimed him immediately.

If we are successful in arriving at our goal in our way, then others will claim us. We will show the seekers our way, but if they do not accept our way, let them find their own way.

Question: Guru, are you offering special performances for the strongman Hugo Girard in response to something unique in his soul, or is there some special inner reason?

Sri Chinmoy: I am offering my little contributions to the strength indomitable and, at the same time, to the infinite power of the universal soul. There is an adage: Nayam atma bala-hinena labhyo — “The soul cannot be won by the weakling.” People who are by nature weak — physically, vitally, mentally, psychically, spiritually — will not be able to realise God. At the same time, one does not have to be a stronger than the strongest human being — no! The amount of physical strength God has allotted to each individual should come to the fore. Physical fitness is of paramount importance. Unfortunately, many spiritual Masters of the hoary past did not believe and also many spiritual Masters of the present-day world do not believe this infallible truth.

The universe has strength. Spiritually we use the term “power,” but when we use the term "strength,” it is mostly physical and vital strength that we are referring to. Mental power we do not see, but the physical power, the physical strength we do see, if we can lift something heavy.

I am honouring Hugo Girard. He is one of the world’s strongest men. Where can you find such a strong man — the strongest man? It is not an everyday affair to meet with an individual who is physically so strong, unimaginably strong. He deserves my utmost appreciation and admiration. I have lifted over eight thousand people. When I honour them in this way, I take it as my dedicated, devoted service. Otherwise, I could not have lifted more than fifteen or twenty or thirty people. The human mind would have come to the fore and said, “This is not appropriate for a spiritual figure.” The mind tells us all kinds of nonsense!

When we bring spirituality into any field, whether it is physical or vital or mental, the first thing that happens is that our human pride goes away. Many people may misunderstand me. They may think I am very, very proud because I lift such heavy weights. But I wish to say in all sincerity that I have taken my weightlifting as a dedicated service.

Again, my way is not the way. My Supreme’s Way is the only Way. When I was in India, heavyweight champions, people dealing with the body-consciousness, like wrestlers, boxers and weightlifters, I could not appreciate at all. I thought that something was wrong with them. How could they have any subtle feelings, tender feelings? How could they develop their intellect and other aspects of their being? But my way is not the way; God’s Way is the only Way. It was my Inner Pilot who wanted me to enter into weightlifting. Otherwise, if I had been left alone and gone in my own way, I would always have given a wide berth to weightlifting. It would have been impossible for me to enter into this field!

On the outer plane it is true that I am honouring Hugo Girard. I am honouring him the way I have honoured my supreme hero Mahasamrat Bill Pearl and others. It is not an easy task to be one of the strongest men in the world, and he has a very simple heart, a sincere heart and a pure heart. When simplicity, sincerity and purity I see in abundance in somebody’s life, I do have tremendous appreciation, admiration and love for that person. I love him because of his simplicity and sincerity, and also because he is a man of humility. Some champions in the physical field — boxers, wrestlers and others — do not believe in humility. When I see that somebody has contributed so much in the physical world and still maintains humility, I admire and I love that person. Hugo is one of those. Outwardly, I am honouring him with my utmost love and admiration. Inwardly, I am dealing with the soul, the soul of the universe that supplies us with energy, untiring energy and strength.

So many people with abundant strength do not believe in humility. They proclaim, “It is my strength, my strength, my strength!” Julius Caesar said, Veni vidi vici — “I came, I saw, I conquered.” We say, “I came, I loved and I became." That is our motto. I have become one with the physical and with the spiritual. My life-boat plies between the physical strength and the spiritual power.

Question: Guru, can you please talk about the experience you had before you realised God?

Sri Chinmoy: I realised God definitely not just in my last incarnation, but quite a few incarnations earlier. I was the dearest disciple of someone.

In my earlier incarnations I mixed freely with “monkeys and donkeys.” Those monkeys and donkeys are called occult powers. Some spiritual Masters call those powers monkeys and donkeys, and I also am of the same opinion. I used those powers right and left. But when we develop wisdom, we do not feel like using those powers — that is, outwardly. Inwardly there is not a single day when spiritual Masters do not use their occult powers. Outwardly we may not use them often. On rare occasions we do use them outwardly, and sometimes people may see that something is happening.

You asked me what happened before I realised God. What happens before God-realisation? A little lotus flower blooms and blooms and blooms. All of a sudden it is fully blossomed. It is like day and night. The night is very thick, but little by little the sky is clearing. All of a sudden we can see that the sky is fully clear. But the best thing is to think of a flower that is blooming, blooming, blooming. All of a sudden it blossoms. Similarly, when aspiration becomes very strong, when the inner flame goes high, higher, highest, it knows it is reaching the highest. Somebody is climbing, climbing from the foot of the tree. He climbs up, up, up, up, and then he reaches the topmost branch. With his aspiration he is going up, up, up, up. Once he gets to the top, he is stationed there.

At this point, some people are satisfied. That is the end of their achievement. Again, some people are not satisfied. Their inner hunger is so intense. Someone will touch the foot of the God-realisation-tree. Then he will climb up a few steps. Then he may climb high, higher, highest. Again, the God-realisation-tree itself always grows. People will think that it is absurd; the Highest is the Highest. But I wish to say that my Guru Supreme, who is Infinite, Eternal, Absolute, is transcending Himself. I see Him always expanding, expanding. People will say, “How can this be? He is God. He already has everything!” God has everything, God is everything, true; but in His Creation He has coined the word “progress.”

God is dealing with Infinity. Do we understand what Infinity is? He is dealing with Eternity. What is Eternity? With our mind we know how to spell “Infinity” and “Eternity” very well; we will not make a mistake. Eternity we see with the soul; Infinity we see with the soul. If we use the soul, we see that there is expansion. If we use the soul, if we become the soul, then we are bound to see that God the Infinite is expanding. He is progressing and expanding in every field because that is the seed that He has sown, the progress-seed. When He used His Vision, He said that He would go beyond, beyond. “Beyond” is the Message of the Supreme. There is no fixed goal, no fixed boundary — no! The Supreme’s only Message to us is to go beyond, go beyond, go beyond, go beyond.

In my case, little by little I saw a bloom, and then a blossom. I have been blossoming, blossoming, blossoming since I realised God. But again, I have not reached my final goal.

My Transcendental Photograph has height. Believe it or not, some people have seen God inside my Transcendental Photograph. About fifteen years ago, I was meditating in my house. There were about twenty disciples with me. I was seated on my throne, and there was a Transcendental Photograph hanging on the wall. There was absolutely no wind, no disturbance. At around four-thirty or five o’clock, the Transcendental Photograph fell down. And what did I see? My Transcendental Photograph fell at my feet. How can I tell you this, and how can you believe it? I smile at you, I laugh with you, I enjoy so many activities with you; but I do know that I have gone beyond my Transcendental Consciousness. The Transcendental Photograph is enough, more than enough — not only for my disciples, but for humanity. It is enough for human beings to see my divinity. But the Supreme did not want to stop there, at the height of the Transcendental Photograph.

The Supreme does feel that the Transcendental Photograph is enough; but when it is a matter of my realisation-expansion, the transcendence of my realisation has taken place. In this way I can clearly see that the highest Absolute Supreme is also like us. His Vision is to go on, to go beyond, beyond, beyond. This is His Message to everybody, to the whole world, whether people are my disciples or somebody else’s disciples. The Ever-Transcending Beyond: these are not mere English words. The Ever-Transcending Beyond is the Vision of the Absolute Supreme.

Question: Guru, what is the most important spiritual quality of America, and what has to be improved? How does it apply to the spiritual seekers here in America?

Sri Chinmoy: Might is not light; light is might. Now we are seeing that many people feel might is light. I am showing you how to become good disciples, good seekers. My spiritual power is showing you how to be good. Light says, “I love you, I love you; I have become one with you. I love you to such an extent that I have become one with you.” That is the message of light. That light has to guide us. Might has not to guide us. If might guides us, we will see only destruction everywhere. By beating someone, by screaming at someone, by cursing someone, no individual is going to show the light. That is not the way of light. When light guides us, it is all oneness-embrace.

A nation has to believe in light, not in might. Individuals and Governments have to care for light, light. Might thinks that it is showing the light, or that it is the light, but that is not true. Light is might.

When people give talks on our philosophy, they should only try to offer light. What we need is light, and light has might in it. If we start with might, might does not embody light. But when we embody light, our might is totally different. That might does not break the world; it only embraces the world.

Question: Is the Nobel Prize for Literature as significant as the Nobel Peace Prize?

Sri Chinmoy: At this moment, the world needs peace. We need peace much more than anything else. The entire world needs peace; each human being needs peace. If one gets the Nobel Prize for Literature, only some people will get benefit from it, either in the heart or in the mind. But if the right person receives the Peace Prize, it touches the very depths of everybody’s heart.

Some world figures — Mother Teresa, President Gorbachev, President Mandela and others — are famous for their divine qualities. But when they are addressed as Nobel laureates, that title carries tremendous weight in the field of peace.

Right now the world needs peace more than mind-development or illumination in the literary world.

Question: Guru, people say that there are children being born all over the world right now who will help the progress of the world. They say that these "crystal children" are very, very meditative and spiritual. I thought I might have had one among my students. She was really special. I am wondering if you would like to say anything about these children.

Sri Chinmoy: If I see photographs, I will be able to say something about these children according to my realisation.

You yourself are like that! When you see me in the street, you literally jump with joy. You are like one of those special children!

People who are sincerely very happy are the true children. Divine children are those who are sincerely happy. For them there is no age limit. Whenever you see me, I never see or think of you as someone on the wrong side of fifty, although I am sure you are on the wrong side of fifty. When you jump up and down, at that time I see you as a baby, three years old.

Question: Your main Centre is in Jamaica, New York, but can you tell us something about your old Centre in Jamaica, West Indies?

Sri Chinmoy: At one time we had a very good Centre in Jamaica, West Indies. I used to call the leader my mother, because she was full of compassion and affection for me. She was a black lady, very stout.

Alas, after some time this lady felt that I was starting to give all importance to young boys and young girls in the Centre, and that I would have no time to pay any attention to elderly people. She did not wait to see what was going to happen. Unfortunately, the disciples believed her, and then they left our Centre.

The very first time I spoke most seriously to about forty disciples in my house, this lady was there. She came up to me and put her hand on my head. She said, “Son, I think you have got a very high fever. That is why you have scolded us.” This was one of my “mothers”!

I was also in a spiritual community. I did not have my physical mother at that time, but I had four or five other “mothers.” The Ashramites were very kind and affectionate to me. My sisters and brothers and I were quite close to the Divine Mother, and inwardly we were very close to Sri Aurobindo. When I did something good or great, my sisters and brothers were infinitely, infinitely happier than I was, believe me. I could not equal their happiness. When I competed in the long jump or high jump, my brother Mantu took care of my worries and anxieties. I was not at all worried or anxious, but he was worried. The moment he heard that I had stood first in running or jumping or some other event, you cannot imagine his joy! In this lifetime there is no match for the happiness that I witnessed in my dear ones, my brothers and sisters, when I did well.

You have asked a question and I have answered it in my own way!

Question: How can we better listen to our inner voice?

Sri Chinmoy: When the mind is pure, absolutely pure, we can easily hear the inner voice. At that time we can hear the inner voice clearly, plus correctly. Sometimes when we hear the voice, it is twisted by the impure mind. If the mind has impurity or wrong thoughts, then the voice is twisted. We hear the voice, but we hear it in a different way. But when the mind is pure, absolutely pure, the inner voice we will hear exactly the way we are supposed to hear it.

If we want to hear the inner voice, the mind has to be very clear. It need not be impurity as such — vital or physical impurity — that prevents us from hearing the inner voice. If any wrong thought enters into our mind, the inner voice does not come to us very clearly. This is the problem.

The inner voice is always eager, eager to help us. The inner voice is not something that we have to pray, pray and pray for all the time. It is like the mother, who is always ready to tell the child, “Do the right thing! This is the right thing.” But the child does not pay attention because the child has so many other things to do.

Purity and silence are needed. If we can develop purity and silence in the mind, then we can easily hear the inner voice. The inner voice is always eager to help you and to help us all.

Question: Guru, your family members had such love for you and such oneness with you. Is there anything we can do to increase our love for you and our oneness with you?

Sri Chinmoy: The difference is that my sisters and brothers never expected anything from me in return, period. They expected nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing! They only wanted my joy, in my own way. My disciples give me joy, and at the same time they expect from me. Since they have given me joy, since they have done something good or great, since they have smiled at me, since they have achieved something, since they have received a good performance report from their office, they expect something from me. Always if somebody does something good for me or even for himself, which is the same thing, there is expectation, expectation. The individual expects that I will say something nice, something encouraging, or I will give him something.

In my case, my sisters and brothers never, never cared for expectation. They never expected anything from me. They expected from me only in a silly way: that I would come to eat at a certain time. If I was late, they scolded me so affectionately. These expectations were on the very ordinary level. Once when I was late, my cousin playfully said, “I will kick you!” I said, “All right, kick me! Show me how you will kick me.” My cousin raised her leg to show me how she would kick me, and then she could not lower it, because I used a little bit of occult power. This was her silly expectation: only that I should not come late. Again, the same cousin showed me such affection. In return, she did not expect anything from me.

When my disciples do something good, there is expectation. When there is expectation, there is always a problem. At that time joy goes away. The human problem is always expectation. We say, “I did so much for you. Can you not do something for me?”

The whole philosophy in our spiritual life is “give, give, give.” If so is the Will of God, God will give us back. We pray and pray and pray for something good. Our prayer goes on, goes on, goes on. If it is the Will of God, we will get it; but our expectation ruins our joy. Then again, our desire may not be fulfilled. From the beginning we have to say, “I desire this, my Lord. If it is Your Will, kindly fulfil my desire. But if it is not Your Will, then please forget about it.”

Here is the problem: expectation. The solution is to live in the heart. We can live in the heart no matter how old we are — even if we are seventy, eighty or ninety years old. If we live in the heart, everything is possible, everything is possible. When we give something to a little child, he is so full of affection. Here and there he moves around with such joy. In exactly the same way if we can live in the heart, we can love others and we can fulfil ourselves.

Question: Guru, is there anything special we can do on our own birthday to please you the most?

Sri Chinmoy: Certainly! To please me the most, only feel how fortunate you are to be a disciple of Sri Chinmoy. I am not bragging! Then you have to feel that I have a “hotline.” I have the closest connection with the Absolute Lord Supreme. Since I have this connection with the Supreme, I will definitely feed your soul. Outwardly I may be unable to feed your mind, because I may not be observing your birthday outwardly. Outwardly you will not expect me to wish you a happy birthday. But kindly offer only gratitude, gratitude that you have come to our path. The more you can offer gratitude to the Supreme in me, the greater will be your spiritual fulfilment.

I am telling you and I am telling everybody, when your birthday starts, only offer gratitude, gratitude and gratitude to the Supreme in your Master. Gratitude is the answer! Then you will feel happier than the happiest on your birthday. Again, the Supreme in me will not remain indebted to you. The Supreme in me will also shower on you peace, love, blessings, sweetness and fondness.

This is what every disciple should do to please me the most on his or her birthday.

Question: Guru, I have heard that cats can take away your spiritual progress if they are around you. Is that true? I am worried because I have a cat at home.⁴

Sri Chinmoy: Some people are very fond of cats, while others are fond of dogs. Still others may be fond of horses and other animals. These gentle animals — not tigers and lions and panthers — can teach us affection and sweetness, and we can also offer them these qualities. You give affection to your little cat, and the cat can give affection to you in its own way.

People are so fond of their dogs, and dogs are so fond of their masters. The master gives the dog just a little food, and the dog is ready to give its life for the master at any moment.

As soon as you see your cat, when your cat is moving around you, your affection comes to the fore. Even if you are stonehearted, even if you are given to quarrelling and fighting and there is no compassion in your life, when your own cat comes near you and moves around you, licking your feet, for the time being you become the most kind-hearted person.

I have never said and I will never say that cats and dogs or other animals that we keep in the house will take away our spiritual progress — no! They only add to our spiritual progress. If we are affectionate to them, if they are affectionate to us, it will not take away our spiritual progress. Again, there are certain immortal stories in the Mahabhatata. These are very rare stories. An old lady was very, very devoted to Lord Krishna. Sri Krishna and Arjuna were observing her. Arjuna said to Sri Krishna, “This old lady is so devoted to you. She struggles so hard to take care of her cow. Can you not give her some means so that she does not have to work so hard?”

Lord Krishna said, “No, I want the cow to die,” and the cow did die. Why? This particular lady was very spiritually advanced, so Sri Krishna wanted her not to be attached to that cow, but only to think of him. This kind of incident is very, very rare. That lady was a super-class devotee of Lord Krishna. Ordinary seekers, budding seekers and seekers who have been on the spiritual path for many years can easily have a cat or dog. But if one is on the verge of God-realisation and attachment comes into the picture, then it is not good. In the beginning of the spiritual life or in the middle stage, it is all right to have a cat or dog. You are fond of someone, let us say, and someone is fond of you. But you have to be sure that this fondness is not attachment. Attachment is totally different. I have never written and I will never write anything against innocent fondness.

In my family, I was for dogs and my sisters were for cats. It is a matter of individual preference. Many years ago when I was living in Manhattan, a devotee’s cat passed by me. Then it sat on my lap. It wanted to have a new life, a human life, and I did grant a human life to that cat.

Question: Guru, when you give us a spiritual name, is it a quality that we should develop in this life, or is it a natural, eternal quality of the soul?

Sri Chinmoy: When I give a spiritual name, it can be meant only for this incarnation, or for the future incarnations as well, eternally. When I give a spiritual name, it has to do with the soul’s qualities and capacities. The soul has many, many qualities and capacities, and I give the spiritual name for the fulfilment of the soul’s qualities and capacities.

In this incarnation some disciples are with me, but the unfortunate thing is that in their next incarnation they may not care for the spiritual life. They may care for ordinary life, worldly life: getting married, having children and so on. At that time the soul’s qualities and capacities will not be manifested. Then again, after some ordinary lives, if an individual once more enters into the spiritual life, the soul’s qualities that I have seen will again start manifesting. In this incarnation nobody will be able to manifest all the qualities of the soul — nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody! But if the disciples continue to follow the spiritual life, then they will go on, and they will be able to manifest their soul’s qualities. If they take up ordinary life, then again their progress will stop.

In this incarnation, there is great hope. As much as you can, as much as you can, bring to the fore your soul’s qualities and soul’s capacities. Some people are doing quite well with their soul’s qualities. They are manifesting these capacities through aspiration, dedicated service and oneness with my will.

Very good question!

Question: How can I know when I should be in your physical presence and when I should be manifesting you? I am not sure if the answer will be personal or if it will apply to all the disciples.

Sri Chinmoy: When I was a child, we used to have quite a few cows. Among them, two were very famous. One was Nandini and the other was Surabhi. Nandini was very mild, but Surabhi was very dynamic. Here is the difference between the physical presence of the Master and his spiritual presence. If you pull the tail of a cow, will you get milk? If you pull a leg of the cow, or the horn, will you get milk? No. The place where you get milk from the cow is called the udder. When you milk the cow, that is the place where the milk comes from. All the parts belong to the same cow, but there is a special place where you will get milk. Again, if the other parts did not exist, then it would not be a cow. If all the limbs were not present, it would not be a cow.

Some spiritual Masters say that when you are in the physical presence of a spiritual Master, it is like the udder, where the milk comes from. That is the goal: to get milk. Some spiritual Masters say this, and it is absolutely true. Again, some spiritual Masters are of a different opinion. They say that familiarity breeds contempt. If you mix too much with the Master, then you see only the human side of the Master, not the divine side. If that is the case, then in a sense I was lucky that I saw my Guru, Sri Aurobindo, only four times a year — four times a year, each time for just a few seconds. The Mother Divine I saw every day, a minimum of three times and sometimes four times.

If you have to stand in front of your Master four times a day, you must be careful. Once only if you go before him, then you may think that afterwards you can relax; but three more times at three different hours if you have to stand before your Master, imagine how careful you have to be! Once a day if you stand before me, then the rest of the time is all yours. For the entire day you can enjoy yourself. But after two hours if you have to return, then you must behave well and keep your consciousness high.

There is both an advantage and a disadvantage to being in the Master’s presence, but some people are very fortunate. The more they can stay in the physical presence of the Master, the more they are able take him very, very seriously, very seriously. They do not believe that familiarity breeds contempt. The more they can stay in his presence, the more benefit they receive.

There is a term in Sanskrit called satsang. It means the company of spiritual people. Have you ever been in the company of saints? Perhaps you have read Sri Aurobindo’s immortal story, “The Ideal of Forgiveness.” King Vishwamitra came to kill the saint Vashishtha. He had already killed the one hundred children of Vashishtha, and he wanted to kill Vashishtha also on that day — all because Vashishtha would not declare that Vishwamitra had realised God. Only for a few minutes he was in the physical presence of Vashishtha, and then he was transformed by Vashishtha’s love and forgiveness.

If you are with spiritual people, what happens? In America we do not give that much value to spiritual company. In India, specially in Indian spiritual communities, they give so much attention to the physical presence of the Master. In New York, Saturday night is our “comedy and tragedy” night, when disciples dramatise my spiritual stories. I am here with you; you are in my presence. In my case, at times I really enjoy the performances of so many groups. I bring down only innocent joy, and the performers are also giving joy. This world needs joy — pure, innocent joy. When some people perform, that innocence disappears; but most of the time there is joy, innocent joy, and that helps us. From innocent joy we can make tremendous progress.

I am coming back to the point. Advantage is there and disadvantage is there; but if you are wise, the more time you can spend in front of the Master, the better. You can make very fast progress in the physical presence of your Master. If you are unwise, you can take your own time.

Look at this chair. I sit on this chair. I have been sitting on it for years and years and years. I do not think this chair will realise God before you. No — never, never, never! The soul of this chair has to take human incarnation. Now it is in the tree-consciousness, or the wood-consciousness. It has to come to the human consciousness, and from there it has to make progress, progress, progress. Then only will it realise God. I have been using it for so many hours, for years and years. This chair has a soul, but the consciousness is very, very low, or we can say that it has no consciousness.

The physical presence of the Master can be of tremendous help provided the disciple takes it soulfully and prayerfully. Otherwise, it can be detrimental. While I am talking, your outer mind will say, “Guru is talking. He is not meditating." Again, your heart will say, if it is aspiring, “Guru can do many things at once.” In the morning I drive. I look this side, I look behind, I look that side. I am doing so many things at once while I am driving. I am putting so much concentration, here, there and all around. Here, when I am chatting and getting massaged by our doctors, people may say, "Comfort, comfort, comfort! Nobody is massaging my feet. All the time they are massaging Guru’s feet.”

Many spiritual Masters have had the same habit. Sri Ramakrishna used to have two disciples massaging him while he and his disciples were all chatting. Sometimes he had three. In my case, on very rare occasions I have three doctors to massage me. In so many ways the disciples can misunderstand the Master’s physical presence if they use their mind. But if they use their heart, it is all oneness, oneness. They will say, “Whatever the Master is doing is for our good, for our good. He has attained to a certain height — the high, higher, highest height. There he is not affected by the so-called outer comfort. At every moment the Master can go very, very high.”

The problem arises if the disciples use the mind. If they use the mind, they may think that everything the Master is doing is wrong. If they use the heart, they will feel that everything the Master is doing is good. So, use the heart all the time! If you use the mind, you may think that everything I am saying and doing is all wrong. If you use the heart, you will say that everything is right, right, right.

Just from the physical presence of a cow, you will not get milk. But when the Master is in the physical, it is like you are getting the milk immediately. If you say, “Supreme, Supreme, Supreme,” God alone knows where the Supreme is: is He this side, or that side? Where, where, where is He? But if you say, “Guru, Guru, Guru,” immediately you are entering into me. You have seen me thousands of times, and there is my Transcendental Photograph. Alas, we do not have a picture of the Supreme in His Highest. We do not have it, and we will never have it. When I see Him, at that time I have no camera with me. My third eye is the camera!

In Woodstock, I had many times the experience of the Supreme as the highest, most beautiful, absolutely golden Being. Once my dearest sponsor, Ann Harrison, was driving, and I saw in the street a most golden form. The Supreme can take any form. A childish desire entered into me. I said, “How I wish I had a camera with me!” I did not have a camera, but the desire to take a picture entered into me. Perhaps it would not have come out, because this experience took place in the subtle world, not in the physical world. We cannot or we may not capture the experience from the subtle world on the physical plane. But again, we can imagine, imagine, imagine Somebody who is most beautiful, infinitely more beautiful than any human child. Imagination has its own reality.

To come back to your question, there is an advantage and there is a disadvantage to being in the Master’s physical presence. If you are wise, you will always avail yourself of the advantage.

Question: My question is about work. Can one make equally fast spiritual progress if one is working outside of our Divine Enterprises?

Sri Chinmoy: You have to be the judge. If you are in the company of your spiritual brothers and sisters, you all have the same spiritual Master. If people who are working at the Divine Enterprises are really spiritual, if they are only thinking of me, thinking of me and pleasing me, it is easier. If four or five disciples are working at the same place, and if they are good disciples, their consciousness or their concentration is all the time around me. They will say to each other, “Tomorrow is Saturday. I am dying for Saturday to come so that I can go to New York.” They will all be trying to find out what is happening in New York and what I am doing. They have an advantage because their goal is the same.

If you work outside the Divine Enterprises, your colleagues have nothing to do with your spiritual life, absolutely nothing. Your destination is your Guru, and their destination is somewhere else, so it may be difficult, very difficult for you. That is why I encourage the disciples to work at our Divine Enterprises. There are many disciples who work in Divine Enterprises. They may not get as high a salary as they could get elsewhere — I know that. But in one place several workers are thinking of the same goal, whereas at another place, you are the only one who is on our path, so it may be very difficult. Who will be there to help you? And whom are you going to help? There is a great advantage for those who work in a Divine Enterprise.

Again, if you are very spiritual, who cares whether others are spiritual or not? But you have to have tremendous concentration and will-power. Let others think of their own life; you will think of your spiritual life. It is very difficult, but not impossible, not impossible, not impossible. Nothing is impossible — it is only difficult. In a Divine Enterprise it is easy, because all the workers are in the same spiritual boat. But in your case you have to be extremely strong in your heart, in your mind and in your life to maintain the height of your spiritual life.

Again, it is difficult, but not impossible. Look at this boy! He is a doctor. Where is his country, and where is New York? While he is working, his mind and his heart are all the time for me. His consciousness and his concentration are here, with me. In how many ways he serves our humanitarian programme, The Oneness-Heart-Tears and Smiles! In the doctors’ profession, they are dealing with life and death every second. Their business is life and death. In spite of doing something very serious, he is always thinking of me and how to please me, how to please me. He is one example. We also have a professor who comes to New York so often. While he is teaching, his mind and heart are here, with me.

The mother is working someplace, let us say, and the child, the little baby, is at home. The mother is working, but her heart is in her house, in her home, in her baby’s room. That little child is the mother’s goal and her God — nobody else. With her mind the mother is working at her office, but her heart is in the tiny room where her baby is staying.

It is difficult, difficult, I must say, to maintain your spiritual height while working outside our Divine Enterprises; but it is not impossible. Nothing is impossible. Definitely it is difficult if your colleagues are not spiritual and they are not in the same spiritual boat — very difficult, but not impossible.

Question: I have heard it said that if Jesus Christ could have lived a longer time, it would have been better.

Sri Chinmoy: Jesus Christ was a direct descendant of God. For him, everything was destined.

Perhaps an ordinary person cannot get up because of his lethargy. If he gets one year more to live on earth, then the next day he may be inspired to get up early in the morning to pray and meditate. If ordinary people, or seekers, stay on earth for a longer time, then they get the opportunity to pray and meditate. But in the case of God-realised souls, it is all destined. Whatever God wanted to do in and through them was all destined. Jesus Christ lived for thirty-three years; Swami Vivekananda, for thirty-nine years; Sri Ramakrishna, for fifty years; Sri Aurobindo, seventy-eight years; and the Mother of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, ninety-five years.

Question: Once you were joking that you gave a disciple bad advice. How could an Avatar do something that is not right?

Sri Chinmoy: Avatars come into the world. They cannot drink divine nectar all the time. I think I have enjoyed nectar, whereas my disciples have not. In the absence of nectar, I have to enjoy drinking juice. Ordinary human beings like juice, and Avatars also enjoy juice. In this case, “juice” means “jokes.” All spiritual Masters like to cut jokes!

One cannot be serious twenty-four hours a day. If a spiritual Master is serious twenty-four hours a day, nobody will go near him. Nobody will be able to go near him because he is in another world. Sometimes, all of a sudden, I become very serious. At that time I become unfathomable for you. But when I look at you and cut jokes, then you feel that I am alive.

My advice is never to compare my life with your life. I am not boasting. My life was like your life many, many hundreds and hundreds of years ago. I have a human body, but I am something totally different, totally different. My soul, my heart, my physical body, my life is God-made, God-moulded, God-shaped. It is totally different from other human beings.

A spiritual Master’s outer life people may judge, but there is no difference between his inner life and his outer life. In your case, they are totally different: your outer life is one thing, and your inner life is something else. In my case there is no difference between my inner life and my outer life. While I am speaking seriously or sternly to someone, I do not lose an iota of my divinity, I tell you. But if you scold someone, you go down, down the hill. This is the difference.

Never be discouraged with the spiritual life! I am begging you never to give up hope. Bring to the fore your promise, the promise that you made when you joined the path, the promise that you would make fast, faster progress to realise God. That should be your goal. Again rekindle the flame of aspiration inside you. Never give up, no matter what your present standard is.

There were some spiritual Masters of the highest calibre who, for one month or six months, could not meditate. They openly told their disciples, in order to encourage them, “I myself was not able to meditate for quite a few months.” Again, some spiritual Masters, out of sheer compassion, told lies to console their disciples; but some said, in all sincerity, “I myself have gone through that desert-life, with no aspiration, no inspiration.” Never give up, never! If you have descended, so what? If you climbed up the tree and now you have descended, again you have the capacity to climb up to the top of the tree and stay at the top.

Question: In a book about Sri Aurobindo, the Mother spoke about the descent of the overmind, and I was wondering if you could explain that.

Sri Chinmoy: In 1926 Sri Aurobindo declared his God-realisation. At that time Lord Krishna descended into him permanently. Before that, Sri Krishna used to come and go, come and go. Sri Aurobindo was in the Alipore jail for one year. There Sri Krishna used to come and see him. In the Alipore jail, Sri Aurobindo would look at the wall, look at the bad people, look at everything and see that it was all Krishna, Krishna, Krishna. But Sri Krishna was coming and going. Finally he entered into Sri Aurobindo permanently. We heard that Lord Krishna brought the overmind. There are so many layers of the mind!

The overmind-consciousness descended into Sri Aurobindo and also the Krishna-consciousness. Lord Krishna promised to Sri Aurobindo that he would be inside Sri Aurobindo permanently. That was Sri Aurobindo’s God-realisation. Swami Vivekananda came to Sri Aurobindo in the inner world for two weeks continuously while he was in jail to tell him that there is another plane of consciousness higher than the overmind: the supermind. He said, “You must bring it down, you must bring it down.” Sri Aurobindo got this message from Swami Vivekananda.

When Sri Aurobindo left the body, for two and a half days the supramental consciousness descended as a most beautiful light. There was no electric light there; it was the supramental consciousness. After two and a half days, the Mother said that the earth-consciousness was not ready to receive the supramental light. On the 5th of December Sri Aurobindo left the body; by the 9th the light was completely gone.

I was brought up in the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. Around 1956, the supramental light was descending. I was an athlete, a first-class athlete. Once, after running 400 metres, I was all ready to die. I was lying down on a mat, and I saw that supramental light descending. On the highest plane it is golden, but when it descends, the supramental light becomes reddish. The Mother said that only three or four persons saw the supramental light the first day, when it started descending.

There is the overmind, the supermind, and what I call the intuitive mind. There are all kinds of minds. Before the level of the overmind there are quite a few minds. After the overmind comes the supermind. For you it is not necessary to know what the overmind is doing or what the supermind is doing.

When one deals with the overmind, the ordinary mind is still operating. But when it is a matter of the supermind, the supramental consciousness, at that time one far transcends the mind-consciousness. It is totally different. There is a big jump, a big leap between the overmind and the supermind. Before that, from the ordinary mind it goes in tiny, tiny steps. Between the overmind and the supermind is a very, very long step. I am telling you this from my own experience and realisation. Very few people on earth have had glimpses of the supermind.

One evening Sri Ramakrishna said to five or six very, very close disciples of his, “Please do not tell anybody: I am God." In all sincerity and seriousness he said, “I am God, I am God. Please do not tell anybody.” He was not cutting jokes. In Sri Ramakrishna’s case, most seriously he told his very dear disciples, “You know, I am God.” This moment Swami Vivekananda believed his Master, and the next moment he did not believe. At the eleventh hour of his life, Sri Ramakrishna said, “He who is Rama, he who is Krishna, in one form is Ramakrishna.” Lord Rama is an Avatar, and Sri Krishna is an Avatar. “Avatar” means direct descendant of God. Sri Ramakrishna declared himself to be a direct descendant of God.

In my poem “Revelation” I wrote, “The Supreme and I are one; all we outlast.”⁵ I had the realisation long before, but at the age of twenty-three or twenty-four, in my poems I declared it.

Question: Guru, on April 13th, 1964, what was the weather like? When you came out into the air, were you surprised by the cooler air on your face? Did it shock you at all?⁶

Sri Chinmoy: Curiosity reigns supreme! On April 13th, 1964, at the airport I became curiosity — plus, perhaps, helplessness. An Indian gentleman was so kind to me. He knew that I was lost, completely lost, so he helped me out. He asked me if anybody outside was waiting for me. I said, “Definitely my sponsors are waiting for me."

The weather was very good, very good, not like today’s weather. I enjoyed everything on the 13th. It was like a dreamland.

When I came to New York, I used to meditate for hours, and I enjoyed window-shopping! Every night I used to meditate and meditate, and then talk to the Lord Buddha. My sponsor, Sam Spanier, had a huge statue of the Lord Buddha that was absolutely alive, alive, alive. I used to meditate and talk, talk, talk to the Lord Buddha.

Greenwich Village! Nowadays I do not know how it is, but in those days it did not have night; it was all day. There were thousands of people in the street. At around three o’clock or three-thirty in the morning I used to go out. My sponsor was shocked. How could I go out at that hour? I said, “There are so many people.” He said, “It is not safe.” Then I believed him, so I stopped going out at three o’clock.

I had another sponsor. Her name was Ann Harrison. She was extremely, extremely devoted and fond of me. Her husband was one of the owners of The New York Times. In her car a doll was hanging. The doll would “tell” her when to turn and when to go forward. Sometimes she would drive through a red light. Why? Because the doll was telling her by moving forward. Then, when there was a green light, if the doll did not move, she did not move. I had to say, “Anne, Anne, I beg of you, when I am in your car, please follow the red lights and the green lights!”

I used to go to Woodstock quite often. Ann Harrison was very kind. Once, on my birthday, she took me to a bakery. She went into the bakery, and I remained inside the car. A policeman came and asked me to move the car. I said, “I do not know how to drive.” He said, “No, you have to go!" The car was on. I saw “R” and I said to myself, “ ‘R’ means ‘right.’ ” I did not know anything about driving. The police car was behind me, and very nicely I dashed against it. The policeman started barking at me. Then Anne came out and started barking at the policeman. She said, “Why did you ask him to drive?” That was a very funny experience, a significant experience. I thought that “R” means right, but “R” means reverse.

Many, many, many happy experiences I had, and many, many, many sad experiences also. The sad experiences I bury forcefully into oblivion. The good experiences, healthy experiences, I try to remember.

The other day, when I was at our Jharna-Kala exhibit at the United Nations, a few significant curators or assistant curators from the Guggenheim Museum came. The head of the Asia Society also came. In 1965, when I was working at the Indian Consulate, the Asia Society wanted the Consulate to send a singer for a function at the Guggenheim. They wanted somebody who could sing Bengali songs, and I was perhaps the only Bengali available. The Asia Society wanted me to set music to two poems. These poems were composed three hundred years ago, and the Bengali was ancient Bengali.

I went to the function at least forty-five minutes early, and I was inside the museum, looking outside at a lamppost. Whom did I see? Lord Krishna! We were talking and talking and talking. A most significant talk we had!

I sang, and I got thirty dollars for two songs — not bad! Somebody very important from the Asia Society came.

My friends took me to see Bengali paintings at the Guggenheim. Never, never in my wildest imagination did I think that I would become an artist. And who ever thought there would come a time when my paintings would be exhibited at the United Nations, where all the nations meet together? Long live Ranjana, my curator. All my artwork is her contribution. Many, many years ago in a tiny hotel room in Ottawa, Canada, I started my artwork, with her encouragement. Many times she used to come to my place in the morning when I would draw. Some boys made me a machine. I would put my paintings on the belt, and the machine would take them to the other side. Then Ranjana would come and collect all the paintings.

What encouragement can do! In my art-life, Ranjana is the proof. In many important places we have shown my artwork, and I am extremely, extremely grateful to all those who have helped me.

I had two or three art teachers in the Ashram. They taught me how to paint. A great artist named Sanjiban came from Chittagong. He and my brother Hriday were dearest friends, and he was very close to our family. When I started painting in America, he said to my brother Chitta, “Tell Madal not to waste his time. He will never become an artist. He is just throwing ink here and there. He can never be an artist.” That was his comment.

Two or three years later, my paintings were exhibited. In those days our galleries used to cover almost a block in Manhattan, and a few important people came. They were kind enough to offer their good opinions. I sent my brother Chitta their comments, plus some of my new paintings. What the opinions of others can do! Immediately that artist, Sanjiban, changed his mind. He said, “O my God, Madal has become a real artist!” Three years earlier he had said that I should not waste my time. This is the nature of artwork. This moment you get discouragement, and the next moment it is all appreciation.

This man is a real artist. In the meditation hall at the Ashram are his portraits of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. You cannot imagine how beautiful they are! They are absolutely living beings, his portraits in the meditation hall. There is also a bust of Sri Aurobindo. It was done by a South Indian sculptor, and it is excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent.

I have gone off the track in my answer!

Question: When your feet first touched the soil of America, was there any inner experience that you could share with us?

Sri Chinmoy: Only one thing I can say. When I stepped onto the soil of America, joy and bewilderment, joy and bewilderment in measureless measure I felt.

The same thing I can say about Switzerland. Years later, when I first stepped onto the soil of Switzerland, I knew nothing about Switzerland. I only knew that Indians who suffered from cancer and other ailments came to Switzerland. That much I knew. I said to myself, “This is my land, this is my land, this is my land — Switzerland! This will be the land of my manifestation.” Then Kailash came. Now look at Switzerland, Germany and Madal Bal! This was my experience in Switzerland that evening. I was so delighted, so excited.

Both joy and fear I felt while walking on the street in New York — tremendous joy, and fear also. Such huge, huge human beings! I could not understand their language, although they were speaking English.

I had a friend who was so kind to me. He was from Brooklyn. His name was John Kelley. Alas, I could not understand anything he was saying. His accent was too much for me! Even now, Brooklyn pronunciation still puzzles me. Queens and Bronx pronunciation I understand, but in Brooklyn, their English is totally different.

I used to type 60, 65 or more words per minute in India. Then, for months I did not practise. A score of 33 was needed for the Indian Consulate, and I got less than 33. John Kelley was so kind, so kind, so kind. When he heard that I needed to practise typewriting, he immediately took me to get a typewriter. At the Ashram I used a Corona that had belonged to President Wilson’s daughter Margaret, whose spiritual name was Nishtha. Then Nolini gave it to me. Here in New York, John Kelley immediately got me a typewriter. I practised a little, and right away I went over 33 words per minute.

That night Mr. Mehrotra’s secretary, who was from the West Indies, phoned me up and said, “Ghose, tomorrow morning come and see Mr. Mehrotra at nine o’clock.”

The next morning Mr. Mehrotra said, “We shall take care of you.”

My friend John Kelley wanted me to study at the New School. Many years later I went to the New School to give a talk. I said to myself, “My friend wanted me to study at this place, and now I have come here to speak.”

Part II — Comments and talks

Life-awakening experiences⁷

Many years ago there was a disciple in our Centre whose son had been, in his immediate past incarnation, a very, very devoted disciple of Sri Ramakrishna. He did not realise God, but he was a most, most devoted direct disciple of Sri Ramakrishna. From Calcutta this disciple went to Madras, and to Mylapore. It was at the Sri Ramakrishna Ashram in Mylapore that I had an experience with Sarada Devi in 1964.

I went to Mylapore to collect a “P-form," a kind of visa that cost eight dollars. I needed it in case my sponsors did not come to the airport in New York to pick me up. For more than two weeks I stayed in Madras, but I was not getting the form. Every day I went to a big government office building, but there was no P-form.⁸

One evening I went to the Sri Ramakrishna Ashram. I walked two and a half or three miles from the hotel where I was staying. There were huge pictures of Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Vivekananda and Sarada Devi at the ashram. I stood in front of Sarada Devi’s picture with tearful eyes. I said, “Mother, I am waiting here, but I am not getting my P-form.”

Sarada Devi said to me, “Go there tomorrow. Go at eleven o’clock.”

I said, “Mother, Mother, tomorrow is Saturday.”

Again she said, “Go.”

All the doubts of the whole world entered into me! Again, I said to myself, “Sarada Devi is a God-realised soul. How can she be mistaken?” I was torn between doubt and faith. My life-boat was plying between doubt and faith, doubt and faith. On Saturday would such a huge government office give me my form? Impossible!

Again Sarada Devi said, “Go!”

The next day I did go there. It was a huge building, with many steps. I did not walk. I did not know how to walk in those days — I only knew how to run! I climbed up the steps very fast.

When I came to the last step, a thin, dark-skinned young girl opened up the door and said, “Mr. Ghose?”

I said, “Yes."

She gave me my passport and the P-form. Then she bolted the door and disappeared. God knows where she went! This is what happened in my life.

That night I entered into my highest meditation. When I enter into my highest meditation, I know everything. When we do not enter into meditation, we are like absolute beggars. This side is doubt, that side is faith; we do not know what to do. In my meditation I saw that this girl was a disciple of the Sri Ramakrishna Ashram and a devotee of Sarada Devi. She went to that temple. Mother Sarada Devi had appeared before her and told her to give me the passport and the P-form. Otherwise, how would she have opened the door for me at eleven o’clock on a Saturday? This story is one hundred per cent true.

We all struggle with doubt. Why do we have to struggle? Let us have implicit faith. I am your spiritual Master. If I tell you to go and get a form from the immigration office on a Saturday, then go! Outwardly it may seem absurd. This experience of mine seemed like the height of absurdity. Like that, many other so-called absurd things have happened in my life.

In Pondicherry, just before that, I had another experience. I needed police clearance to get my passport. The Ashram manager only had to say that I had behaved well. He was so fond of me! But the Mother of the Ashram did not want me to leave. For more than a month I waited. The manager was really so fond of me, but the Mother did not want to give me permission, so I could not leave Pondicherry. I begged him. He said, “What can I do?”

Then I went to my dearest friend’s place. The whole family was so devoted to me — not only loving, but absolutely devoted. At around midnight I was chatting with them. One of the family members was in the habit of smoking and drinking. In the Ashram, smoking and drinking were forbidden, but he did not believe in those rules. That fellow died young, at the age of twenty-eight. He was very fond of me, and I was very fond of him. In that big family, he was the only one who used to drink and smoke. I was in their kitchen, chatting with the whole family. This fellow placed his hands on my shoulders. He was heavily drunk — I could smell it. He said, “Chinmoy-da, why are you so sad? What is wrong with you?"

I was sad. I said, “What am I going to do? I cannot leave the Ashram, because the Mother is not allowing me. She will not permit me to get the police clearance. She will not allow the manager to tell the police that I have behaved well.”

He said, “Do not worry! I am now going to the head of the police."

I replied, “What are you saying?”

He said, “Just now we were drinking together, so I will go to his place.” How could I believe him?

He went to the police chief's place on his motorbike. Such a noise it made! In five minutes he came back again. The motorbike was victorious! My friend said, “Tomorrow the police chief will sign the clearance form for you."

I said, “He does not know who I am!”

My friend said, “That is not necessary. Tomorrow morning you can go to the police station. He has promised.”

I said to myself, “My friend is drunk, and his friend is perhaps more drunk.

I am caught in between two drunkards!" Again, I had such love for this fellow.

The next day I went to the police station, and immediately they gave me the form. Who had signed it? The head of the police department.

Then I went to show the form to the manager. He asked how it was done, and I told him. This happened just before I went to Madras.

You have seen a photograph of me in Pondicherry where I am wearing a hat. My head is cleanly shaved. That young man was the photographer. He took that particular picture about two months prior to my departure for America. He had a very good heart. His name was Gopal — Lord Krishna. Alas, he died at the age of twenty-eight.

Two miracles! Outwardly, we would say that these experiences reached the height of absurdity. We have to go beyond the mind. The mind will not be able to comprehend such absurd stories.

One more story I can tell about an absurd utterance that proved true. Mahatapa’s great-uncle was a professor at Santiniketan. At one point, he came to America to teach Indian philosophy at Missouri University. He taught there for two years. His complaint was that some students behaved very badly! He was very, very, very fond of me.

At the end of 1960, this gentleman gave a series of talks at the Ashram. I had no idea of going to America at that time, let alone having a sponsor! I was preparing wholeheartedly for the Himalayas. I said to myself, “This is the time for me to go to the Himalayas.” That was the whole story. I was not thinking of going to America.

This professor was so fond of me. During one talk at the Ashram, he was reading out his paper, which was about ten pages long. After reading out the second page, he stopped. He said, “I can clearly see that our Chinmoy will one day go to America and make a big noise!” Everybody laughed and laughed at him! I was in the third or fourth row. There were eight hundred people, at least, in the audience. The whole playground was full, and he was reading into a microphone. After reading two pages, he got that inspiration: “I can clearly see it.” Everybody laughed! Again, I never thought of going to America — never! I was only preparing for the Himalayas.

Six or eight months later, Sam Spanier came to the Ashram. I was coming out of the main gate. I was going very fast. In those days, believe me, I did not walk. Very, very fast I was moving; I was almost running. God knows, perhaps I was hungry and it was time to eat. I was in a hurry. Sam Spanier caught me. He said, “Brother, brother, will you please tell me something about Sri Ramakrishna and Mother Kali?”

Alas, I was a Sri Aurobindo Ashram disciple, and he was asking me to tell him something about Sri Ramakrishna. He had come to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, and he was asking me about another Guru!

I said, “All right, very good. Let us go to the park.” There was a park about eight hundred metres away from the main gate. We went to the park and he asked me so many questions about Sri Ramakrishna, although he had come to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram to become a disciple. I answered all his questions. He was very happy. Then he said, “I will have to take you to America.”

Then an American lady came to the Ashram. She was so devoted. She wanted to become my sponsor. Her name was Ann Harrison.

Now I am coming back to Mahatapa’s relative. How could he have had such a vision? He had never discussed anything with me. Out of the blue everything happens. I am sure that everybody has had that kind of experience. It seems absurd, absurd; but that very absurdity awakens our life.

Many kinds of manifestation⁹

Recently in New York I have been giving importance to one particular aphorism:

“I have come to learn
Something very new:
Manifestation-privileges
God gives to very few.”¹⁰

That message should be ingrained in your heart. I would like you to recite it quite a few times, so that you will value God-manifestation.

God-manifestation can take place even inside your own physical body. Let us say that your body is undisciplined, or you have a disease. If you can bring down light, peace, bliss or any other divine quality into the physical, that is a great manifestation.

Again, if you can be sincerely nice and kind to your brother and sister disciples, that is also an aspect of our manifestation.

The manifestation that disciples are doing here and there, you all know. But there are many, many other kinds of manifestation that you may not be consciously aware of.

The Lord Buddha¹¹

I have written a very powerful poem about nirvana. Tomorrow perhaps I will compose a song. This poem is about my first experience of nirvana — that is to say, in this incarnation. In previous incarnations I definitely had the experience of nirvana and I went beyond it. In this incarnation I have perhaps gone far beyond nirvana. One day I was enjoying my nirvana experience and I wrote this poem. I can tell many, many stories. It will be difficult even for my disciples to digest my experiences!

At Kamakura, and also at Borobudur, how I was conversing with the Lord Buddha! Many times it happened. Even in Puerto Rico I had such a wonderful conversation with the Lord Buddha.

I was told, although I did not see it when I used to meditate in Sri Aurobindo’s room, that Sri Aurobindo kept only one picture there, and that was the Lord Buddha’s picture. I meditated there every day for quite a few years, but I did not see the Lord Buddha’s picture in Sri Aurobindo’s room. Perhaps it was long before I was born that Sri Aurobindo kept the Lord Buddha’s picture. When I meditated there, I saw only two tigers.

The Lord Buddha’s wife was extremely eager to be her husband’s disciple, so she played a wonderful trick on him. Their son, Rahul, became very, very devoted to his father. The mother asked the son to go to his father and beg him for initiation. Ananda, the dearest disciple, and others felt very sorry for the little boy. He was all sincerity. At first the Lord Buddha refused. He said, “No, no, no! I will not accept my son.” But Ananda, his absolutely dearest disciple, begged him. Ananda said, “Look at his sincerity! How sincerely he wants to become your disciple! Please, please accept him.” So the Lord Buddha accepted Rahul, his son, as his disciple.

Then the son played a trick on his father! He said, “Father, you have left my mother. I have also left her. Now, who will take care of her?” What a wonderful trick he sprang upon his father! Then the father accepted his wife also as a disciple.

The Lord Buddha was a spiritual Master not only of infinite Compassion, but also of infinite Forgiveness. In the evening of his life, a former disciple invited him to come and eat at his place. That is how the story runs. Whether the host deliberately put poison inside the food or it was done inadvertently, God alone knows.

The disciples were very, very, very upset and furious, but the Lord Buddha said, “You must not, must not punish him. My time has come. Do not blame him." They did not do anything, because the Lord Buddha forgave that man.

At the age of eighty, the Lord Buddha could not walk properly. He could not keep his head and chest straight. According to the books, he needed a walking stick. He was bending and bending.

The Lord Buddha used to give lectures, and many, many seekers came, only to go. When the Lord Buddha gave talks, hundreds of people used to come. One day these people would come to listen to the Lord Buddha’s sermon, and the following day they would go to hear a talk given by another spiritual Master. Like this it went on and on and on. The Lord Buddha’s disciples Ananda and Sariputra begged their Master, “You are now too old. Please, please give up offering sermons. Those who want to become your followers will come.”

The Lord Buddha said, “I am not doing this to acquire more followers. I am doing it as a service to mankind. When people come to me, they get some benefit. And when they go to the other Master, they get some benefit.”

The strangest thing is that the Lord Buddha and another spiritual Master, Mahavira, could not or did not want to meet. Only nine and a half miles — some say six and a half miles — separated them from one another, but they did not have the occasion to meet. In two neighbouring villages they were born, and they left home at practically the same time. The Lord Buddha had a son and Mahavira had a daughter.

Mahavira’s way was the most difficult way, the most arduous. He tortured his body to the extreme. Physical discomfort he embraced. In the Lord Buddha’s case, he also wanted to practise austerity. Then he came to realise that austerity was not the answer; the middle path was the answer. Sujata taught him to follow the middle path.

It is like music. If you play on the higher scale all the time, nobody will appreciate your music. Again, if you play always on the lower scale, nobody will appreciate it. We start from the middle scale and occasionally we enter into the highest scale and the lowest scale. Who will be able to sing always on the highest scale?

Happiness in every sphere¹²

I wish to give a one-minute speech on happiness.

Happiness, happiness, happiness, happiness, happiness I expect from each and every disciple. Happiness, happiness, happiness! If you are unhappy, if you are miserable, if you are depressed, you must feel that you are hurling arrows.

I am fortunate, sincerely fortunate, to have you as my disciples, and I wish to say that you can also feel the same, since you have an Avatar as your spiritual Master. I make bold to say that I am an Avatar. An Avatar is the direct descent of the Absolute Supreme. Believe it or not; believe that I am an Avatar or not; but believe in your own happiness.

If you are happy, then you are giving me a world of bliss. If you are unhappy, I feel miserable. Unhappiness does not have any solid foundation. Even if you are sick, very sick, your sadness will not cure your disease — never! Your happiness is the cure, the only cure — a happy, cheerful mind and heart. In every sphere of your earthly activities, keep happiness, happiness.

There are some disciples who were attacked by the most serious diseases. Their faith in me, and their happiness, was most praiseworthy. Even here there are some disciples in this category. A disciple’s faith in me enters into the Heart of the Absolute Supreme. If one has implicit faith in our Lord Supreme, He is bound to help the suffering patient. Faith is needed — absolute faith.

Not only one, but hundreds of disciples of mine have been cured of serious ailments because of their faith in the spiritual life, and that means their faith in our Lord Supreme. Again and again I say, He is my Guru, He is your Guru, He is everybody’s Guru. He chose me to be His representative to be of service to Him and to be of service to you as well.

Come back to this world!¹³

How many times our Jagattarini practically died — seven or eight times! Recently the message came from Moscow that she was dying. The case was absolutely serious, and the doctors said she would die soon.

I started talking to her on the phone. She was enjoying a so-called mental hallucination. She was saying that she was in such a beautiful place, and she did not want to leave that place. Sometimes she understood what I was saying, and sometimes she was giving me a full description of Heaven. I did not have to tell her anything about Heaven; she was telling me how beautiful it is.

I said, "O Jagattarini, I want you to come back from that beautiful place. I want you here!"

Then she said to me, “Oh, Guru!”

I said, “No, I want you to be here. Come back, come back from that place!” Then, after we had been talking for four or five minutes, there was a complete change. She came back to this world. Before, she was lecturing about the other world! She was very lucky. It was a matter of half an hour or an hour — not even two or three hours — before she would leave this world. Luckily the disciples got me on the phone.

Now she has her story number ten or eleven to tell about death. This time she herself wanted to die, but it was not the Will of the Supreme. She writes in such a charming way about how many times she was saved. She has such faith, such faith in me.

If the mind can be illumined by the heart¹⁴

There is a disciple who has a most powerful intellectual mind, but luckily it has surrendered to his heart. If his mind had not surrendered to his heart, God knows what kind of disciple he would have been! Because he surrendered his intellect so sincerely to his heart’s wisdom, he is a very, very good disciple. The mind can destroy; again, if one can pull the mind into the heart, it is a tremendous success.

Some disciples were born intellectuals, but I am so happy that they have put the brilliance of the mind inside their heart. Some of my very, very close disciples have had problems because of their powerful intellect. I spoke very seriously to them, and now they do not use that intellectual mind in a wrong way. Sometimes my seriousness works!

If the mind can be illumined by the heart, then the mind and the heart will be able to go together. Right now, inside everybody there is a constant fight going on between the two. At times the mind becomes faithful, like a little puppy following a very big dog. It has happened in some cases, and it is still happening. But if the mind and the heart both remain aloof, then there is a very serious problem. Everything at that time the person sees with a negativity-mind. Negativity comes forward always. When the mind is not under control, immediately we get an attack from negativity. There is no rhyme or reason for it.

Somebody is walking in the street. You have nothing to do with that person, but you immediately form a bad opinion of him. Or let us say that your friends are moving around with very good, compassionate and affectionate feelings. As soon as you see them, all your negative thoughts you inject into them. They will immediately say, “What happened, what happened?” They have not done anything wrong.

If the intellectual mind, the negative mind, is not illumined by the heart, dryness will reign supreme. The intellectual mind loves dryness. In the spiritual life, we never want dryness! Sri Ramakrishna used to say, “Give me juicy stories!” He did not want dryness. At times he wanted to enjoy earthly news, earthly humour, as everybody does. When the intellect is not purified by the heart’s affection and compassion, the intellect becomes a very serious obstacle. It feels that it knows everything. It is all dryness; there is no sweetness.

Intellectual people who cherish dryness create suffering for their dear ones. Again, the dear ones are at times so kind that they understand their intellectual family members and friends. If the two parties have tremendous affection and compassion for each other, then the intellect surrenders to that affection and compassion. When the intellect enters into the heart, it is overwhelmed by the affection, sweetness and concern of the heart. Then intellectual people can become very, very happy.

Sri Aurobindo wrote that the intellect was the helper in the beginning, but then it became an obstruction. Many, many good things we want to have in the beginning of our life. Then we get them, and at times we misuse them or we overuse them. At that time they become veritable obstacles in our life. Those very things become weapons. Then we pray to God for God’s Grace. When God’s Grace descends, at that time the obstruction goes away, because God’s Grace swallows pride, intellect and all other problem-makers. But the heart also has to be fully prepared to save the mind. If the heart is not strict and eager to save the mind, then the mind runs amok.

Again, I am so happy that many so-called intellectual giants on our path have accepted the spiritual life so sincerely. They give full value to the spiritual life, and their intellect is under full control.

When kindness fails¹⁵

Once upon a time, two disciples of a spiritual Master had a very unfortunate experience. One disciple was not doing well, and the other one was trying so hard to encourage and inspire him. There is perhaps something called being overly kind. One disciple was very, very kind and wanted to help the other one and do the work of the other one. Alas, the second disciple, instead of taking the help of the first one, rejected his help and did something absolutely wrong from the spiritual point of view. This is what happens at times. We try to please someone in our own way, but when our consciousness is not high, no matter how we try to help the person who has become a victim to irritation or some other undivine quality, we cannot be of any service to him.

At times it seems as though nothing works in this world! In one of her books Mother Teresa said, "I thought love could conquer everybody.” But then she said that, from her own experience, she had discovered that it was not true, not true. She said, “I loved, but I could not succeed in certain circumstances.” Sometimes even love cannot succeed. Then what shall we do? We always say that power does not succeed; love succeeds. But there came a time when Mother Teresa, who was all compassion, self-giving and forgiveness, said, “Even love does not work.” What can we do at that time?

In my case, many, many times when my kindness, softness, tenderness, politeness and everything else fails, fails, fails, then I use my powerful scolding, and it works. When I scold someone, inwardly I am so miserable. Outwardly I am pretending that I am very, very angry, but inside my heart I know how much I myself am suffering from the scolding that I am giving to someone.

This kind of thing I do for some good disciples who work very hard. When I appear to be angry with them, I suffer much more than they suffer. Outwardly I do not show them kindness and compassion, but this is only what is visible in the outer world. I become two individuals: one individual to use justice-light, and one individual to take the suffering. Inwardly, I am all kindness, all forgiveness.

The capacity of meditation¹⁶

Prayer and meditation both are needed, true. But if we can enter into the meditation-world seriously, then we will see the difference between meditation and prayer. Prayer is needed, but prayer only says to God, “Give me, give me, give me!” Good things we are asking for, true. But during our meditation, we dive deep within. At that time we house the Infinite. The finite houses the Infinite. The mind cannot believe it: how can the finite house the Infinite? But it does house the Infinite. That is the capacity of meditation.

When God wants to discuss something, God takes meditation as His eldest son with whom He can discuss anything. When we deal with the prayer-world, we see that prayer is a little child. God can show His Affection, Sweetness and Fondness to the prayer-world, but He is not going to discuss anything serious with the prayer-world. But in the meditation-world, God gives advice to those who do excellent meditation. He even discusses things with them, as a father speaks with the eldest child in the family. The father and mother discuss things with the eldest one. They have such confidence in him.

The prayer-world is good, very good. Instead of breaking things here and there, a little child prays to God to get God’s Attention, Blessings and Love. But if we really want to describe the difference between prayer and meditation, we can say that prayer is like a child asking for something, and meditation is like a grown-up who is at once diving deep within and going up, all the time.

Sometimes one has to be a strict judge of the whole spiritual realm. Spiritual Masters do have the authority to tell the difference between prayer and meditation.

A gift from the soul¹⁷

This morning at four o’clock I vividly saw one of the disciples in the inner world. His soul came to me. He was so happy, and I blessed him. His soul is very small, but most beautiful and most powerful. His body is much more stout than his soul — much more! His subtle physical being gave me a beautiful blue lamp, very bright. How happily his subtle body was giving me this lamp! I was very pleased.

Now, in the outer world, I have given this disciple a job: I have requested him to find a lamp like that for me. That experience took place in the higher world. Now he will bring me many lamps, I am sure. Easily he will be able to do it. I shall have to choose the one that will satisfy me.

This is what happens when we are dealing with the soul.

Protection from hostile forces¹⁸

About two weeks ago, a disciple gave me a note. In the note he said that he had had a very, very vivid dream of his mother’s passing, his father’s passing and his sister’s passing. All the members of his family had died, and the dream was extremely vivid. I did not have to do anything in the inner world, because I saw that the dream was not at all true; it was absurd. When you have dreams or frightening experiences that bother you, please write to me.

We all have dreams, almost every night. There are many reasons when you have bad dreams. The most common reason is that you do not sleep properly. You lie down on your chest, or either one palm or both palms you place on your heart chakra. That is not good at all. When you lie down to sleep, do not put pressure on your heart chakra. You may think that very lightly you have placed your palms on your chest, but it may not be true. Even unconsciously you may be pushing your chest. When you sleep, do not keep your arms on your chest. Just keep them relaxed.

Before you go to sleep, you can concentrate on only one chakra. That is the Manipura chakra, the navel centre. From there on down, lower forces, undivine forces, unaspiring forces, can attack the sleeper. In the spiritual life, when it is a matter of protection, the most important thing is always purity. Purity has to be given first and foremost importance in the spiritual life; otherwise we shall have serious difficulties. Purity is not something delicate or powerless. Purity’s strength is unimaginable, absolutely unimaginable. If you concentrate on the navel centre, it will help you considerably. At that time you do not have to concentrate on the heart, on the throat, on the forehead or on the top of your head, the crown centre.

Many spiritual Masters have suffered and even now are suffering, I am sure, because of the hostile forces. Some hostile forces have the capacity to take the forms of spiritual Masters or Indian gods and goddesses. When I was fourteen or fifteen years old, I meditated for about two hours at night. I used to get up at seven minutes past two. On one occasion I was resting a little, lying down on my bed, and my hands were not on my chest. All of a sudden I saw a most beautiful figure that had the appearance of Lord Vishnu, but it was not the real Lord Vishnu. A hostile force had such tremendous power that it was able to take the form of Lord Vishnu.

By that time I knew that when hostile forces attack us, we have to show them our purity. They can fight with everything that we have, but when we show them purity from the central being, from the heart, they will fail. I had read this, and also I knew it inwardly. When I brought forward the strength of purity from my heart, that figure of Lord Vishnu burst. It had no physical form, but against the wall it was standing. What a horrific sound it made! It was four-thirty or five o’clock in the morning.

Then what happened? From across the street, Nolini’s son Ranju and his friends came, and people from upstairs came down because the sound was so loud! From across the street they came at four-thirty in the morning, because this kind of sound we do not ordinarily hear. My brother was in the same room, in another bed, and I did not have the heart to say anything. I was pretending that I was fast asleep. My brother heard the sound, and he said to me, “Did you not hear the sound just now?" I said, “I will tell you tomorrow. Now I want to sleep.”

From upstairs a Gujarati man came with a big stick to beat the culprit! Where was the person for him to beat? How could he beat the force that had taken the form of Lord Vishnu?

The hostile forces have the capacity to give someone a heart attack, if he is not aware of them, and if he does not use the power from his own heart. Purity is a power! I know of at least four instances where that kind of heart attack took place. A hostile force took the form of somebody’s dearest beloved and the person thought, “My dearest beloved has come to me.” If you see this kind of form, never bow down — never! You may say, out of devotion, "O my God, Lord Vishnu has come! Then let me bow down.” Never, never bow down! As soon as you bend your head or bow down, you will be kicked. Your life-energy the hostile force can take away, or it can destroy one of your limbs. I have read and I have experienced it — not in my personal life, but in the lives of some of my close associates. Some of them were of a very high order, and some of them had even realised God.

Again I am telling you, hostile forces can take the forms of divine beings. But if the Master is in the physical, and if the disciple is quite devoted, the disciple can be saved. In my case, I have said that hostile forces will not be able to take my form. I said it, but some people did not believe me. One of my very close disciples, one of my dearest disciples, was attacked. He said that he had seen me in the inner world, and I told him that his vision was absolutely false. Outwardly I was telling him, “No, no, no!” but he did not believe me. He enjoyed the form he had seen inwardly. I said to him, “I have told you that nobody can take my form.” I scolded him so powerfully! I said, “Believe me — I am here in the physical!” From that morning on, he was completely all right.

Sri Aurobindo had a disciple from Chittagong who was on the verge of God-realisation. Once somebody wrote to Sri Aurobindo, “What can the hostile forces do against the divine forces?” Sri Aurobindo wrote to him, “Tell me what they cannot do! My disciple was on the verge of God-realisation.” He was a very devoted disciple of Sri Aurobindo, very, very devoted and very close. He said that at night Sri Aurobindo had come to him and told him something. Sri Aurobindo said, “Wrong, wrong! I am in the physical! How is it that you are not listening to me? You are listening to your dream and not to me!" How badly the mind can be distorted!

Hostile forces do exist. Nowadays quite often I give prayers on protection. What is today’s prayer?

[The disciples repeat the prayer:]

“My Lord Supreme,
Right from the day I was born,
My life has been
Your Compassion-Protection-Abundance-Indulgence.”¹⁹

You know perhaps seven or eight instances of protection in my life, including the boat experience, the scimitar experience, Mother Kali’s protection when I collapsed after running, and the experience of seeing my mother in the eyes of a tiger.

Coming down from the highest meditation²⁰

From 1946 to 1952, perhaps, over a six-year range, I used to go up high, very high, during my meditation. When I came down, I could not remember my name. It took me a long time to remember my name. For at least ten or fifteen minutes I could not remember. There was only one way for me to know: by looking at my notebook. I was a student, and we had to write down our name for the teacher to see. This happened many, many times.

Sometimes in my room I was meditating and one of my dearest friends or admirers would be there. He was not meditating; he was only watching me and seeing how high I was going. When I came back down, I asked him my name, and he told me. Many times this happened.

Sri Ramakrishna used to go up very high during his meditation. In two ways he would come down. One way was to touch his disciple Brahmananda, either his leg or some other limb. Then he became perfectly normal. Before that, he did not remember anything after he came down. He did not know where he was or what he was. This happened again and again. On other occasions, his disciples who were near him when he came down from his meditation used to give him a hookah to smoke. When he smoked, he remembered everybody’s name, because he had completely touched the earth-consciousness.

Quite a few times after meditating I used to go out of our house to the dining room, which was about four hundred or five hundred metres away, with only one sandal. One foot had a sandal and one foot had no sandal. I continued walking, and people would say, “What are you doing? Why are you wearing only one sandal?" Then I would go back and get the other sandal.

At times something else happened. There was a place where we would drop our plates after eating. A few times it happened that after eating I did not go there. I went straight out of the building and into the garden with my plate. People asked me, “What are you doing here?” There was a small park where I used to have very high meditations, and I walked there at least two or three times with my dish.

Impossibility does not exist!²¹

Impossibility does not exist! The term “impossibility” exists only when we use our mind.

One may have a big palace, but he may prefer to live in a small, cosy cottage. Sometimes even a king or an emperor may wish to live in a cottage. The mind will say, “How can a king live in a tiny cottage? Is it not beneath his dignity?” No! The king can choose to live in a cottage; it is quite possible. Man uses the term "impossibility,” but God says that it does not exist.

The mind will see in the ocean countless drops. To the mind, these drops are inside the ocean, so the ocean is infinite and the little drops are finite. The finite is inside the Infinite. How can we see or feel that inside one drop is the ocean itself? For the mind, it is impossible! But the soul sees the reality on another plane of consciousness. If we can enter into that consciousness, immediately we see the entire ocean inside one drop.

A seed grows, and gradually, gradually it becomes a banyan tree. We see the banyan tree; it is exposed. The seed was under the ground. We were not able to see it; now we see only the vast tree. But if we have access to another plane of consciousness, there we will see inside the seed the entire banyan tree. It is not a mental hallucination! Right now, we cannot go to that plane. That is why our mind has fixed ideas about the banyan tree and the ocean. How can it be that inside a seed is the tree? How can it be that inside a drop is the ocean, when it takes countless, countless drops to form the ocean?

There is a plane of consciousness which we cannot see and we cannot enter into with our present human consciousness. That is why we immediately say that something is impossible. But if we can raise our physical, earth-bound consciousness to a very high level where the mind cannot interfere, we shall see that what we call impossibility is more than possibility. The mind cannot even imagine that that plane exists. On that plane we see that inside the drop is the ocean; inside the seed is the tree. As long as we use the mind, we will never, never have this experience and we will never, never be able to believe it.

Impossibility is in the physical world, the earth-bound world. In this world, it is all limit, limit, limit, limit! The mind is limiting everything. It can go a little, and then it stops. It can come a little closer, and then it stops. But the soul does not limit anything. The soul starts with Eternity and Infinity. For the soul, nothing can be called impossible. We see that a three-year-old boy has run a marathon in India. He is three or four years old, and he runs, runs, runs. Here is the proof that some of the realities of the higher worlds have descended to this world. Otherwise, how can a three-year-old boy in Bihar run a marathon?

So many things are happening! These feats the mind will never, never, never believe. Even if they are performed right in front of someone’s eyes, his mind will not believe it. Some reporters say, “Even if we see you perform these feats, we will not believe it." This is the supremacy of the mind and the limitation of the mind. Even if we achieve something right in front of some people, they will not believe it, because their mind has formulated the idea that it is impossible.

In this Creation of God’s, so many things are considered impossible, but they are quite possible. If we enter into the higher worlds, we will see that these things are more than possible. They are happening every day, every day, every day. If we can go a little beyond the mind, then we are ready to believe everything.

If I cannot do something, but I hear that somebody else has done it, I will never say it is impossible, because I know that it is possible! I have done many things in my own life. If I can perform a so-called impossible feat, you can also do it. God is not my sole monopoly, so how can I say that others cannot do the impossible? If I cannot do it, that does not mean that somebody else cannot do it.

If some villagers hear something remarkable, the first thing they say is, "No, it cannot be, it cannot be, it cannot be!” Science is making such progress in the West and everywhere, but if you tell these villagers that something extraordinary has happened, they will say, “Impossible!” Their consciousness and their awareness are so limited, but they judge the entire world as if they had such a high degree of knowledge or wisdom! If you ask them about America, their ignorance will say, “No, no, America does not exist.” What does exist for them? Only their little village — beyond that, nothing. Only if some of their relatives go to America and come back will they believe in America. They do not even go to the next village, but with supreme authority they declare about anything, “It does not exist, it does not exist!”

In the spiritual world, there is a Sanskrit saying: Neti, neti, neti. It means, “Not this, not this, not this.” People repeat this saying. Then, finally, they surrender, and they go beyond their limited awareness.

Comments from the inner world²²

About a week ago, Ranjana’s Bhajan group performed. Sri Chaitanya is all for bhajans — devotion, devotion! He was observing and appreciating from the inner world and he was very pleased. He said how devoted my disciples are — not only the Bhajan singers, but all, all my disciples. He said that I am so lucky, so fortunate that I have such soulful, prayerful, devoted disciples. He was so proud!

Sometimes the Saviour Jesus Christ has a totally different view. I have seen him vividly. Sometimes when my disciples sing Christmas carols, he feels that they need more humility. But many, many times the Saviour Christ has appreciated my disciples so much. He needs only humility and simplicity. His whole creation is all humility and simplicity. He says that when my disciples sing soulfully, it gives him tremendous joy.

I wanted renunciation²³

We have just watched a performance of my play about Sri Chaitanya. He threw his book on logic in the Ganges to save his friendship.

In 1951, for a few days I was thinking of sannyasa. Renunciation, renunciation — give up, give up everything! By that time I had many, many notebooks full of my poems, short stories and other writings. At around eight-thirty one night I said, “No more! These things are only for name and fame. I do not want name and fame. I do not care if people appreciate my poems; I do not want it. I want renunciation.”

The Bay of Bengal was less than a hundred metres from our house. I said to myself, “Now it is eight-thirty. Before my brothers come back, I will become a real renunciate.” The idea had come, so I took about twenty notebooks and I came out of my room to throw them into the Bay of Bengal.

There was a main gate that was huge and very heavy. We needed a key to open it on both sides. As I approached the gate, I was so happy that I was going to renounce my name and fame.

My brother Chitta usually used to come home at around nine-thirty or a quarter to ten. He was in the Ashram, praying and meditating. On this occasion, as soon as I opened the main gate, whom did I see? My brother Chitta! On that day, instead of nine-thirty or ten, he happened to come back at eight-thirty. I thought that, before he came back, it would all be over! He grabbed me and scolded me. Then I said, “I do not want name and fame.”

Chitta said, “All right, you do not want it, but I want name and fame for you! ” He grabbed all twenty of my notebooks and brought them back. If he had not appeared, today I would have been without those twenty notebooks.

That divine or foolish idea of renunciation came to me. Because of my brother, today I still have those notebooks. My brother usually came home at nine-thirty, or sometimes even at ten o’clock. But on that day, at eight-thirty he happened to appear! If he had come a minute or two later, by that time I would have reached the Bay of Bengal and all my notebooks would have disappeared.

I went through all kinds of experiences. My life is full of aspiration, renunciation and also some peculiar experiences.

It was God’s Will for my notebooks to be saved. Otherwise, would my brother have come home at eight-thirty on that day? There was no rhyme or reason for his early arrival. He said, “A voice within me was telling me that something was going wrong, something very serious was happening.” Something very serious was happening in my life: that was my brother’s feeling, so he came home to see what was wrong. How can I forget this experience!