I know why I am helpless

Return to the table of contents

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I want to take a prominent part
In the desire-drama.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not believe
In my illumination-whispering heart.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I feel that opportunity
Is another name for forced responsibility.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I am afraid of climbing up
The reality-tree.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not want to accept
That my desire-life
Is indeed a frustration-heart.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I like constant sound-success
And not sleepless silence-progress.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not allow patience
To feed me.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have turned my mind
Into a self-importance-volcano.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I want to succeed
In substituting my mind-cleverness
For my heart-soulfulness.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I always carry a doubt-dagger
Wherever I go.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I am afraid of training my mind
To hope.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not want to accept the fact
That because of my unbending mind
My life has become an unending darkness.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I want to live
Inside a binding and blinding
Desire-room
And not inside
An illumining and liberating
Aspiration-palace.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I am always quick to anger
And slower than the slowest to smile.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I never want to become
An expert in self-giving.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I never pray to God
For a oneness-heart.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have never learned the silence-language
That is needed to talk to God.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have never dared to anchor my heart
In implicit faith-harbour.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I never believe
That God has kept His Heart-Door
Wide open for me.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I am afraid of
Life-transforming dreams.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
Every day I bury myself
In thought-mud.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not enjoy
Doing my will-drills.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have a questioning mind
And not a listening heart.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I enjoy my mind's
Constant unwillingness-grumbles.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not place every day
Fresh hope-flowers
On my heart-shrine.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have allowed outer calamities
And inner frustrations
To befriend me.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
Every day I feel the end
Of my life's fleeting span.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I carry thickening disappointments
Of decades.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I care only for what is gone
And not for what remains.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
My name is ego-indulgence.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
My name is oneness-starvation.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I dearly enjoy
Sleepless ignorance-appetite.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have never developed
A distaste for ignorance-food.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
My inner faith
Has deserted me for good.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I have not yet discovered the antidote
To my expectation-poison.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I am afraid of taking
Aspiration-fitness-course.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not ignore
Constant anxiety-punches.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I do not dare to think
That God the Creator is within me
To awaken me
And God the creation is for me
To please me.

I know why I am helpless

I know why I am helpless.
I am helpless
Because
I think that my life
Is a curse of the devil
And not a Love-Gift from God.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That can never be shattered.

Mine is a God-dream
That can never be shaken.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That never forgets
Its God-appointment Hour.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That tells me
That my heart's aspiration
Is nothing other than
My life's re-creation.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That embodies only
The mountain-silence-peace.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That knows only
My heart's rising aspiration-sun
And never the setting
Of the aspiration-sun.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That is always empty
Of doubt-poison.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That is always triumphant
Over my earthly human fate.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That tells me
It is not sadness but selflessness
That makes us very special to God.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That is indeed my passport
To God's celestial Country-Home.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That does not allow
My God-manifestation-heart-song
To remain unsung.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That bravely swims
Across the ocean of impossibility.

Mine is a God-dream

Mine is a God-dream
That always finds
My Lord Beloved Supreme available
Inside my heart-home.

The Sri Chinmoy Library