Illumination-Song and Liberation-Dance, part 4
151
Ami pathhara pathikAmi dikhara nabik
Ami kajhara shramik
Ami ashahara premik
Translation
I am a lost traveller,I am the sailor
Who knows not where
The destination is.
I am the labourer
Who has lost his job.
I am the lover
Devoid of hope-flames.
152
Amrita amrita amritaTumi atmar chira parichita
Amrita amrita amrita
Mor hridayer ankhi kusumita
Translation
Nectar-delight, nectar-delight, nectar-delight!I have known you through Eternity.
Nectar-delight, nectar-delight, nectar-delight!
You are my heart’s eye fully blossomed.
153
Nupur baje napur bajeKhudra hiyar ankhi mahje
Kahar nupur kahar nupur
Amar prabhur amar prabhur
Nirabatar madhubane
Atmatyager putagane
Translation
Ankle bells ring, ankle bells ringInside the vision-eye of my tiny heart.
Whose ankle bells are these, whose?
My Lord’s, my Beloved Lord’s.
And now my Lord and I
Are in the nectar-forest of silence.
He is teaching me the songs
Of sacred self-giving.
154
Jara jete chaiJete de tadere
Tora at tora ai
Toder lagiya amar swapan
Hridayer anginai
Tora ai tora ai
Niye jabo ami toder sabare
Asimer simanai
Translation
Let them go, those who want to goYou come, you come.
It is for you that I have
Garnered my sweet dreams
In my garden-heart.
You come, you come.
I shall, without fail,
Carry you all
To the shores
Of the infinite Beyond.
155
Sanga habe jiban khelaTai heri aj alor bhela
Sanga habe jiban khela
Ami kritagyatar mela
Sanga habe jiban khela
Translation
My earth-pilgrimageIs at its end.
Therefore today I see
The golden boat
Of light and delight.
My earth-pilgrimage
Will before long stop.
I have become today
Nothing but a humble gratitude-fair.
My earth-pilgrimage
Is fast terminating.
156
Tomar khamata jenechiTomar mamata peyechi
Tomar hriday henechi
Tomar charan bendhechi
Translation
I have seen, Lord, Your infinite Power,I have received, Lord,
Your Compassion-Affection infinite.
Countless times I have hurt
Your Forgiveness-Heart,
And then I have bound
Your Divinity’s Immortality-Feet.
157
Shudhu sei din dekhi jibaner bhorAj heri shudhu maraner kalo ghor
Shudho sei din chila mor nam asha
Aj mor nam hatasha hriday bhasha
Shudhu sei din sonali swapan sathi
Charidhare aj bastabatar rati
Translation
Only the other day I sawMy life’s hallowed dawn.
Today I see Death’s tenebrous darkness.
Only the other day my name was hope.
Today I have become
A broken heart-world.
Only the other day my friend
Was a sweet and golden dream.
Today I see all-where
The reality-night.
158
Amar hriday pakhire pushibeAmar ashru kanna rodhibe
Amar chapal parane khamibe
Amar khudita jibane tushibe
Ogo premamoy jani ami jani
Tabu kena hai taba prane hani
Bhule jai taba sudhamoy bani
Andhiyar ghore buke mor tani
Translation
You will keep and feedMy heart-bird.
You will stop my heart’s pangs
And extinguish the tear-flames of my eyes.
You will satisfy my hungry life,
O Lord of Compassion.
I know all these and many more
And yet why do I torture You,
Your heart of Compassion-Light?
I completely forget
Your nectar message.
I draw into my heart
The measureless gloom of ignorance-night.
159
Swarga duare taba madhumoy bani shunechiMartyer ghare taba ankhi duti dekhechi
Swarge balechi ami shudhu toma lagiya
Martye ekhano uthi nai ami jagiya
Translation
I have heard your ambrosial messageAt Heaven’s door.
I have seen your Feet divine
In earth’s home.
In Heaven I told You that
I was only for You.
Alas, on earth I am still
Enjoying imponderable
Ignorance-sleep.
160
Shuno shuno ogo bangshidhariTaratari karte sabi pari
Taratari tomar charan
Dharte ami pari
Dukhi dharar hiya sathe
Kandte ami pari
Sukhi nabher hasi sathe
Haste ami pari
Translation
O Lord Krishna, O Flutist Supreme,I can accomplish everything quite fast.
I can touch your Divinity-Feet in the twinkling
Of an eye.
I can in no time cry
With the bleeding Mother-Earth.
Again I can smile, sing and dance
With the ever-happy sky.
161
Ghure amar manBhul kare o bishwaprabhur
Chaina darashan
Ghure amar man
Hese khele andhar sathe
Kare alapan
Ghure amar man
Praner deshe bhalo lage
Moher parashan
Translation
My mind wanders,Even through oversight.
It does not look at the world-Lord.
My mind wanders,
It plays, sings and talks
With darkness-night.
My mind wanders,
It enjoys the restive life
Of the vital attachment.
162
Tomar karuna amar kamanaTaba paye mor hiyar jatana
Taba sudha hasi amar sadhana
Mukti nritya amar eshana
Amare pheliya jeona jeona
Bhaba guha ghore amare rekhona
Translation
I long for Your Compassion.I place my heart’s sorrowful pangs
At Your divine Feet.
I meditate to watch
And to implore Your Liberation
To grant me Your Liberation-Dance.
Do not go away
Leaving me here alone.
Do not leave me
Inside the tiny earth-cage.
163
Tomar lagi ratri jagiDaki tomai daki
Phanki tomai deina kabhu
Amar paran ankhi
Tabu kena thako dure
Balbe ki hai more
Bandhbe kabe hiya amar
Asim kripar dore
Translation
I keep late hours for You at night.You I call upon.
My heart’s eye
Will never deceive You.
Why do You remain away
At the farthest corner of the globe?
When will You
Bind my heart
With Your infinite
Compassion- Light?
164
Akash amai janeTaito akash tane
Rabi amai jane
Taito rabi tane
Ami jani akash rabi
Ankbo ami tader chabi
Mora habo brahma bishnu shib
Pabe moder supta dharar jib
Translation
The sky knows me.Therefore it pulls me
Towards it.
The sun knows me.
Therefore the sun invites me.
I know the sky and the sun.
I shall draw them,
The beautiful sky
And the dutiful sun,
We shall become
The three great Cosmic gods:
Brahma, Vishnu, Siva.
Our very existence-life on earth
Is for the great success and good progress
Of the world.
165
Tara amai dakeTara amai tader shire rakhe
Tara amai tane
Puta hiyai ashru bhara gane
Jabo ami jabo
Tader sathe durnilimai
Shanti sudha khabo
Translation
They call me.They place me on their heads.
They draw me towards them
With the tearful songs,
The sacred hearts.
I shall go with them
To the farthest blue
And enjoy with them
Boundless Peace
And boundless Nectar-Peace.
166
Tomar dekha pabar lagiSanpi nayan jale
Tomar paye basbo ami
Tomar kripar bale
Tumi amar chira apan
Tumi amar mukti swapan
Barek ese baso prabhu
Amar hriday dale
Translation
I offer my tears to YouOnly to see You once.
I shall place myself at Your Feet
Only on the strength of Your Compassion-Light.
You are eternally mine.
You are my Liberation-dream.
O Lord Supreme, do descend
Into my lotus heart.
167
Tumi aso tumi hasoMor hiya bane
Khama tumi karo prabhu
Mor achetane
Ami kandi dibanishi
Taba pada lagi
Taba madhu barabhoi
Ami sada jagi
Translation
You come and you smileInside my heart forest.
O Lord Supreme, you forgive me
Even when I am totally unaware of your forgiveness.
I cry all day and night to see your Feet.
I am always awake to receive
Your compassion blessing.
168
Esechi ei dharai ekaPete tomar charan dekha
Pabo ki hai tomai prabhu
Amar jiban bhelai kabhu
Jani ami kangal
Tumi prabhu asim dayal
Ei bharasai achi eka
Esechi ei dharai eka
Translation
Alone have I come into the worldTo see Your Lotus-Feet.
Will I ever see You, my Lord?
In my tiny life-boat I know
I am poor in spirit.
I know my greed knows no bounds.
Lord, You are Your infinite Compassion.
Your constant self-giving shows Your real name.
Therefore I know I am still able to live on earth.
I came into the world all alone.
169
Rakhal rajaTomar smriti tomar priti
Jage mane jage
Tomai aji
Basbo bhalo hriday diye
Barai anurage
Translation
O King of the cowherds,Your sweet reminiscences,
Your divine Love-Light,
Are sporting in my mind.
1 shall love You today with my heart’s oneness-joy.
To You I shall offer my life’s inner eagerness-cry.
170
Parabo mala tomar galeBase tomar charan tale
Ekti shudhu balbo katha
Laho amar hiyar byatha
Translation
I shall place my heart’s garland of divine love,O Lord, around Your Neck.
And then I shall sit at Your Feet Supreme.
Only one word I shall utter:
Receive my tearful life and my broken heart.
171
Ami nirmamAmi naradham
Tabu magi taba sneha
Karuna plaban
Jiban sharan
Laho mor ama deha
Translation
I am ruthless.I am the worst possible mortal on earth.
Yet I implore Your Compassion-Flood.
O Heaven of my Eternity’s soul,
Do accept my dark and ignorance body.
172
Ogo amar pather sathiRupantarer sudha bhati
Ami jabo tomar deshe
Puta madhur hasi hese
Tomar kripa amar jiban
Bedan bihin jyoti swapan
Niyecho mor maran rati
Ogo amar pather sathi
Translation
O my Friend,You and I walk along Eternity’s Road.
You have the message of Transformation-Light.
I shall smile a sacred smile.
Your Compassion is my life.
My life knows no suffering,
It is flooded with Your Dream-Light.
Nowhere do I see the night of death.
173
Mahiruha matoHabo ami nato
Khama giri mato
Habo unnata
Jananir mato
Sada jagrato
Dharanir mato
Bandana rato
Translation
Like the tree I shall bow down.Like a mountain I shall forgive and keep my head high.
Like the mother I shall always remain awake,
Like the heart I shall always worship.
174
Dharar buke esechilam ekaHayechi bahu tomar peye dekha
Tumi amar jiban sathi
Tuni amer maran bhati
Ami tomar mukta shishu
Merir kole jeman jishu
Translation
I came into the world all aloneBut now I have become many.
Do You know why?
Precisely because I have seen You.
You are my eternal Friend.
You are the Light in my death.
I am Your liberation-child.
Like Jesus in the lap of Mary
I always stay in Your Lap.
175
Jiban maranHasi bedan
Ke janena ke janena
Ashar prabhat
Sanjher aghat
Ke janena ke janena
Moher bandhan
Mukti sadhan
Ke janena ke janena
Translation
Life and death,Smile and tears —
Who is not aware of them?
Morning hopes and evening blows —
Who is not aware of them?
The bondage of attachment and liberation practice —
Who is not aware of them?
176
Shudhu asha shudhu asha shudhu ashaE jiban nadi mor sarba nasha
Nayan samukhe alik swapan
Pratikkhan prane shaman jatan
Translation
Hope, nothing but hope;This life-river of mine
Is meeting with destruction.
My eyes see nothing but false dream.
My heart is tortured by ruthless death
Day in and day out.
177
Abichar charidike abicharAnyayer anirban adhikar
E dharani pashaber pashu shala
Jani ami nahi habe kabhu ala
Translation
Injustice, injustice, injustice;Injustice-night has enveloped the entire world.
This world is the playground of nothing
But animal kingdom.
I know, I know, illumination will always
Remain a far cry.
178
Chahi shudhu puta pranNahe dhan man
Chahi shudhu bodi gyan
Amrita sandhan
Habo ami tyageshwar
Udar mahan
Translation
I always long for a pure heart.And not for name and fame.
I always look for confusion-sun.
I always look for Nectar Delight.
I shall only become the Lord Supreme of
    Sacrifice-Light.
179
Je jibane nahi kono doshSe jibane param santosh
Je jibane kalo phanki nai
Se jiban pai prabhu padi thai
Translation
The life that is empty of dark crimesEnjoys satisfaction-delight.
The life that knows no deception-darkness
Receives blessing light
Of the Absolute Supreme.
180
He mor jiban nadiChalo tumi nirabadhi
Maha parabar pane
Amiyer sandhane
Mithile je taba trisha
Ghuchaibe pran nisha
Translation
O my life-boatYou always run and run
Towards the great ocean of the unknown
For Nectar-Delight.
The moment your thirst is quenched
My life of darkness will cease once and for all.
181
Ogo amar praner durbalataTumi chalo amar sathe sathe
Taito amai hane biphalata
Tumi jedin jabe amai chere
Sedin habo purna saphalata
Translation
O my weakness-life,You always follow me.
Therefore, frustration and failure constantly
Torture me.
My life will become a success and glory
The day I can enjoy your absence-might.
182
Ami nutan sebak chatAmi nutan hriday chai
Ami nutan swapan chai
Ami nutan srishti chai
Ami nutan mukti chai
Ami nutan hasi chai
Translation
I wish to be a new servitor.I wish to have a new heart.
I wish to be flooded with a new dream.
I wish to envision a new creation.
I long for a new liberation.
I soulfully desire a new smile.
183
Jyotir sathe thakbo amiTimir sathe thakbona
Swapan sathe thakbo ami
Bastabatai raibona
Adhir praner maya jale
Amai je ar bandhbona
Translation
I shall stay with Light,Never with darkness.
I shall stay with sweet dreams,
And never with hard reality.
I shall no longer bind myself
With the restive vital.
Silence-life I shall invite.
184
Ekla chalar ananda dheuHabo ami prabhu
Maya moher timir jale
Thakbona ar kabhu
Ami habo amar hiyar
Puta swapan bhor
Dakbe amai bhalo bese
Rupantarer dor
Translation
Lord Supreme, I shall become the wave of Delight.By walking all alone,
I shall no more walk along the road of
Attachment-night.
I shall become the dawn of your heart.
With love from above, the door of transformation
Beckons me.
185
Ami jabo ekaAmi jabo
Dekha pabo eka
Dekha pabo
Tabo padatal
Mor trisha
Dure jao chale
Moha nisha
Translation
I shall go alone.I shall see you alone.
Your lotus Feet shall quench my thirst.
O attachment-illusion-night
Away you go.
186
Bahudur hate esechiBahu asha buke rekhechi
Hastashar prane henechi
Muktir lagi chalechi
Translation
I have come from afar.In my heart I have collected countless hope-flowers.
I have struck the life of wild despair.
I am running to see the shore of Liberation-Delight.
187
Bandhu amar ghor abhimanBandhu amer baddha paran
Bandhu amar mithya pahar
Chaudike mor shaman andhar
Translation
A sulking life has become my true friend.A narrow and tight life has become my friend.
A false mountain has become my friend.
Within and without I see the darkness of death.
188
Bhagaban Bhagaban BhagabanNiye jao mor shata abhiman
Bhagaban Bhagaban Bhagaban
Dao more taba nil tari khan
Bhagaban Bhagaban Bhagaban
Kripa karo udar mahan
Translation
My Lord, My Lord, My Lord,Do take away my sulking nature.
My Lord, My Lord, My Lord,
Do grant me your blue boat.
My Lord, My Lord, My Lord,
Your Compassion-Light I soulfully desire.
189
Jalo jalo jaloAmar hiyar nibir andhare
Heri jena taba shaman bijayi alo
Jalo jalo jalo
Kanu priya banshi swapaner hasi
Amare basibe bhalo
Translation
O kindle the flame of aspiration inside the depthOf my darkness-heart.
I long for the light that is the conqueror of death.
O kindle the flame of dream-smile and grant me
The flute of my beloved Krishna.
I need the Love-divine.
190
Karbona bhoi karbonaBandhbona ar bandhbona
Mithya mohe dakbona
Jiban juddhe harbona
Translation
I shall not fear.I shall not fear.
I shall not bind.
I shall not bind.
I shall not welcome attachment forces.
I shall not lose on the battlefield of life.
191
Bhalobese hasi mukheBaki ami jare
Se je nahi kabhu ase
Mor hiya dare
Bhalobese puta prane
Jare ami chai
Chhute chale jai dure
Tare nahi pai
Translation
To whomever I call with a smile, “Come to me,”I always get a strong refusal.
My heart’s door remains sad and lonely.
Whenever I write welcome with a pure heart;
I meet with a strong refusal.
He runs away.
192
Prabhur bijoy habeJadi o janina kabe
Mor parajoy habe
Jadi o janina kabe
Dharani dhanya habe
Jadi o janina kabe
Madhumoy sab habe
Jadi o janina kabe
Translation
My Lord’s victory will take placeAlthough I know not when.
My defeat will take place
Although I do not know when.
This world will one day be blessed and fulfilled.
Although I know not when.
Everything will be sweet and ambrosial
Although I know not when.
193
Tomar sathe tomar pathe chalboTomar paye matha nata karbo
Swapan hiyai bandhbo tomai bandhbo
Chira apan kare tomai rakhbo
Translation
I shall walk with You along the road.I shall bow down only to You
With my dream heart.
I shall bind You.
I shall keep You eternally as my own, very own.
194
Ashar jibane krandanSwapan parane bandhan
Jibaner bhore maran
Charidike nache bedan
Translation
The life of hopeIs tortured by bitter tears.
The life of dream
Is devoured by wondrous night.
At the dawn of life
Is the stark frown of death.
Destruction-blows are dancing all around.
195
Sabai amar bhaiMukti giti dibas rate
Amra sabai gai
Sabai amar mita
Amra nachi alor nachan
Hase bishwa pita
Translation
Everyone is my brother.We sing the song of liberation together
All day and night.
All are my friends.
We dance the dance of Light.
The Lord Supreme of the creation vast smiles at us.
196
Amar ashar nabheTomare heribo jabe
Labhibo ananda sudha
Mitibe juger khuda
Ogo anupam kotha tumi balo
Tomar karuna bale niye more chalo
Translation
I shall receive Nectar-Delight.My agelong hunger will be fed
Only when I see
You in the firmament of my hope.
O Beauty unfathomable,
Do tell me where You are,
Where do You hide?
Can You not exercise Your infinite
Compassion-Light
And take me where You are?
197
Amar hiyar ganNahi habe abasan
Tomar kripar ban
Nahi habe abasan
Chetonar abhijan
Nahi habe abasan
Translation
The songs of my heartWill never come to an end.
The flood of Your Compassion
Will never stop.
The journey of Consciousness-Light
Will never come to an end.
198
Maha satyer anulsandelhanParama mukti amrita pan
Ghor mithyar chira abasan
Jachiche amar trishita paran
Translation
My life of eternal thirst I have become.I desire only three things:
The discovery of highest Truth,
The taste of the highest Liberation,
The immediate extinction of falsehood-life.
199
Tomare ami charibanaBasana ghare rahibona
Simar dake chalibona
Dinata sathe kandibona
Translation
I shall not leave You.I shall not remain inside the room
Of darkness-desire.
I shall not respond to the call of the finite.
I shall not cry with poverty, inner or outer.
200
Andhiyar charidike andhiyarNahi heri hasi pran sushamar
Abasad hiya hane abasad
Madhu khama nahi shudhu aparadh
Ami ar byatha pran duibhai
Swarge martye amader nahi thai
Translation
Darkness all around, darkness.I see not the life of beauty anywhere.
A heart of frustration night tortures me.
Sweet forgiveness nowhere exists.
I see only a mountain of mistakes
And a sea of punishment.
A heart of sorrow and I are two brothers.
Neither the heaven nor the earth cares to grant us
A little shelter.