Why are you running?¹

Early this morning it was raining so heavily! When I came back from running, the lady with the dog on 150th Street saw me. She said, “Why are you running?”

Eating before racing²

Before every long-distance race, I deliberately eat enough for four or five persons. This is supposed to be my carbo-loading. But then I have to carry this extra weight when I run!

The disco³

On the day of the Westchester Half-Marathon, I secretly ran eight and a half miles early in the morning before the race. When I came near the subway station on Queens Boulevard, I saw hundreds of people coming out of a large building. The building had pictures of movie stars on it. I was thinking to myself, “How can they show a movie at five-thirty in the morning?” But you can’t drink in a movie theatre and all these people were absolutely drunk. Disciples told me later that it was probably a disco.

Lost time⁴

It took me almost a minute to get to the starting line of the half-marathon. Often when you start a race, you lose at least one or two minutes at the beginning. Then it is hard to run; there are so many people ahead of you blocking your way. There are always some poor runners who have to run right in front of you. Once I saw Kirsty, but I could not go in front of her because there were so many people blocking me. At one point there were three runners running together, and I couldn’t pass them.

Passing⁵

Previously when I would start a race, hundreds of people used to go ahead of me. I would just run at my own pace and let everyone pass me. Now I can’t believe it — when I run, I go ahead of others. That means my speed has increased. So many people I pass — ten here, two or three farther on. In silence I ask them, “What are you doing? You are doing what I used to do — falling back.” Those people are having the same experience that I used to have.

The ERG stop⁶

At the three-mile point of the half-marathon, Vince was supposed to give me ERG, but he didn’t see me run by. I saw him, but I didn’t know that he was helping my road crew. Then Lucy saw him and told him that I was about a hundred metres ahead of her. Vince had to run to catch me. Then, once he caught up with me, he had to run another 100 metres because I still didn’t know he was the person meeting me and I kept on going. I thought that he was running to inform somebody else that I was coming.

The quick change⁷

I would like to have T-shirts with zippers in the front. Then I could change in the middle of a race very quickly. This time, after five miles when I took off my nylon running suit, I felt so cold because my shirt was wet, but I didn’t stop to change it. If I could have changed, I would have felt fresher and run faster.

Muscular power⁸

Sometimes I see that after only four miles or so, strong young men start walking. They are very strong and muscular; their chests, arms and legs are so developed. Perhaps they think that their muscular power alone will carry them through the race. But if that were the case, then weight-lifters would all be excellent runners.

Delay⁹

In the half-marathon I lost over a minute because of Databir. First I was screaming because he didn’t see me. Then, he delayed me because he didn’t have the ERG ready for me. He had put the ERG on one side of the road, near his car, and was standing on the other side of the road. He said, “Do you need ERG?” Then he had to run across the street to get it.

When you stop to drink ERG or water, for two hundred metres or so you lose your rhythm and your strides become short. Then you start getting back to your normal pace.

Cramps¹⁰

After running five miles in the half-marathon, I was finished; I had absolutely no strength. Then, at nine miles, I got such a painful cramp. By eleven miles my cramps were so painful that I had to walk. I couldn’t run 800 metres at a time without walking. I stood on the sidewalk, trying to stretch my legs, but the cramps were so powerful that I couldn’t do it. No matter what stretching exercises you take for cramps, they are so painful. What can you do? I had such pain that I could barely stand up. At that time I saw Nemi going ahead of me. I said, “Go!” I had to surrender to her speed.

Walking and running¹¹

After about five miles I walked so many times. Before I would start running, I would decide how far I would go before I would start walking again. When I reached that particular place, I would walk for 50 or 100 metres. Afterwards, it came to the point where I was walking 20 metres and running 20 metres. Such pain I had! Two young black boys were joking with me and telling me to run. Of course, they themselves were not running in the race. They were only watching.

New disciples¹²

When I was dying around eight or nine miles, I saw some new disciples from Connecticut. There were two girls and one boy. They passed me with folded hands. I could see from their faces that they were disciples, but I didn’t know their names. Then one girl said, “Guru!”

While I was walking, she went ahead of me 30, 40, 200 metres. She never stopped; she only ran. Then, when I started running again, I caught up with her. Later, when I started walking again, she continued running and passed me.

Virendra and his blanket¹³

When I had finished nine miles of the half-marathon, I saw Virendra with a big blanket wrapped around him. The nine-mile point was near the finish, so he came to watch after he had completed the race.

Going ahead¹⁴

At one point on the road it said one and a half miles to go. But even before that, people giving water were saying, “Only a mile and a half to go.”

Right near the finish of the half-marathon, a man wearing a Citibank T-shirt came up to me and said, “Are you Sri Chinmoy?”

I said I was. Then he said, “Please don’t mind if I go a little ahead of you. I won’t be able to go very far ahead of you.”

I said, “Please go.”

He finished not even 50 metres ahead of me.

Running like a pig¹⁵

Yesterday’s 21 miles were not enough. Today greed took me another 11 miles. If you eat like a pig, you suffer. If you run like a pig, you also suffer.

I have goat-speed climbing up hills. Now I need deer-speed.

Greetings¹⁶

This morning I ran eleven miles in the Father’s Day Marathon around the Jamaica High School Track. When the race started, I waited until the last person was 30 metres ahead and then I started. The first person I passed was Chameli. As I passed her, I greeted her. Like that, I greeted many. I was getting such joy by competing with Anupadi. I passed her and greeted her seven or eight times. Many times I was looking at Anupadi’s strides.

Watching strides¹⁷

When I see any runner, I don’t look at any part of him — not at his head, not at his face, not at his feet. Even in the car if I see somebody running, I don’t see the runner. Immediately I look only at his strides. I have that wonderful disease; I can see only the strides.

Age is laughing¹⁸

What a difference between the days when I ran in India and now! I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry. The best thing is to laugh at age, but perhaps age is laughing at me.

When I ran the 100 metres in India, I used to run much, much faster. Now, nothing moves.

My left leg moves as if it were carrying a dead elephant — it is lifeless.

The 100-yard saviour¹⁹

I am so glad that we had the 100-yard race today so that at least in one event I could defeat Dipali. Otherwise, for me to defeat her in long-distance is impossible!

Two smiling rivals²⁰

I smile when I play tennis with Sunanda, and Sunanda smiles when she runs with me. When we run, we know what happens — she always defeats me. When we play tennis, we also know what happens — she has to surrender to me.

The car crash²¹

Today I had absolutely my best experience running! One of the disciples was following me in his car while I was running in Flushing Meadow Park. I had covered three miles and I was starting my fourth mile, when all of a sudden I heard a big crash, as if two cars had collided.

I turned around to see that the car that was following only 40 metres behind me had crashed into a lamppost. It was a really frightening experience. Then the disciple came out of the car only to tell me that he had been drinking Coke and eating peanuts to stay awake, but in spite of that he fell asleep.

Can you guess the name of the driver? Databir!

Now I ask anyone who follows me while I am running to drive 100 metres either ahead of me or behind me.

The soulful monkeys²²

Yesterday around noon, I was walking down the 150th Street hill with my weighted shoes on. When I was coming back up, I saw four little boys — three black and one white. One of the black boys stood in front of me, practically blocking me, with folded hands. There was no joke involved. So I looked at him very soulfully. I couldn’t believe my eyes: the other three monkeys were silent. For them to even remain silent was something. Three of them just looked at me, but the other one folded his hands.

When I passed by them, I didn’t hear anything, so I knew that they were not cutting jokes. This kind of experience I very seldom get. I was very, very deeply moved to get that kind of treatment from those monkeys.

The Rabbi's birthday present²³

Today in our races for the boys, Sanatan — whom I always call my rabbi — lost to me in the 50, 60 and 100-yard races. But then he got extra energy because it was his birthday, and he defeated me in the 1,500-metre race.

Birds of a feather²⁴

Yesterday I saw Shraddha running. I was so delighted to see him running. He had just finished and he was near Annam Brahma. Today I saw Dhananjaya running. So these two photographers have started flocking together. They have become good boys.

I am smart!²⁵

Today Pahar and I were running near the 300-metre mark on 150th Street when we saw a middle-aged lady crossing the street. When she saw us, she said, “I am smart! I walk!”

The drum player²⁶

Once while running in Flushing Meadow Park, I passed by a fellow who was beating a drum. The park authorities were asking him to play more softly. When I ran by, the young man said to me, “You run so fast, so fast!”

The uphill course²⁷

On the Boston “Fifty Oneness-State-Songs” running course, the fifth and sixth miles were all uphill. In the beginning it was all downhill. But what benefit was it, since in the beginning I was fresh? Then coming back it was all uphill. Just when I was tired and exhausted, at that time I had to go up.

The Heartbreak Hill run²⁸

After I ran my seven miles in Boston, I watched the disciples run two miles up “Heartbreak Hill” on the official Boston Marathon course. Nothing gives me so much joy as to watch others running. I really sympathised with them.

Chikur was the first boy. He was far ahead of the second boy, Pahar. Pahar was panting “Hah, hah!” while he was running, but he could not catch up.

The lady with the dogs²⁹

This morning I was walking down the 150th Street hill at about 6:15. After about 100 metres I saw an elderly lady. This is the lady that I always see whenever I run there, even when I go out at three or four in the morning. She always has her two dogs with her and says hello. She is very nice to me. This morning she smiled at me and said, “My dogs will never bite.”

The big shot³⁰

Later, on my way to the tennis court, I was walking quickly in the street and four or five black children were walking lifelessly towards me. They looked right at me and said, “Oh, he thinks he is a big shot!”

I was in an absolutely soulful consciousness. What could I do or say?

Getting ahead³¹

Now when I run races, I see many people who start out ahead of me fall behind me after one mile. Of course, the really excellent runners have gone far, far ahead — God knows where. I can’t even see their backs.

In today’s five-mile race, towards the end I passed ten or twelve people. Then one girl went ahead of me. She looked at me to see if I was going to try to catch her, and in silence I said, “Go ahead.” Later I caught her.

Another girl went ahead of me after four miles. She was taller than I am and so strong and muscular. Again in silence I said, “All right, go ahead.”

Mistaken identity³²

At one point in the race I passed Gayatri. She was wearing white. Then later, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone in white coming along my side to pass me. I said, “How can Gayatri be running so fast?” Then I turned a little and saw that the person who was passing me had short hair. I said, “This can’t be Gayatri.” Finally I turned all the way around and saw that it was a man. Gayatri could not keep pace with me.

Appreciative competitors³³

After the race, a white man and two black men came up to me and congratulated me for going ahead of them in the last 800 metres. All three came up to me and said, “We were struggling like anything.”

Recognised in London³⁴

During one of the times that I went to London secretly, without telling the disciples that I was going, I went out running. Suddenly I heard someone call, “Guru!”

I said, “Who could that be?” Then I saw Shankara. I said, “What are you doing?”

She said, “I am going to school.”

Another time when I went there secretly, a car started following me while I was running. I started to get annoyed because the car was following me. I didn’t know there were disciples inside. Finally, the driver came out and said, “Are you Guru?” It was Devashishu’s parents, Kaivalya and Bhavani, who live in London. At that time they had just joined our path.

The traffic people³⁵

In North Carolina the “Fifty Oneness-State-Songs” course was very hilly, and it was on a major highway. At one point I had to make a left turn from the right side of the road. If the disciples had told me ahead of time, I would have crossed the highway long before the actual turn. But they did not tell me. They just suddenly said, “Go left!” Chetana and Begabati were supposed to stop the traffic at the turn. But Chetana was only telling me a car was coming. She was not stopping the cars at all. She was only informing me that they were coming. There I lost so much time. I had to come to a total standstill and wait. Then Begabati was standing with her back to the cars and her arms spread, just looking at me. I lost so much time because of these two.

The 300-metre hill³⁶

At one point in the sixth mile of the North Carolina course, there was a 300-metre hill. What could I do? Perhaps when the boys were measuring the course, they were half asleep, so they did not even notice the hill.

The San Francisco course was absolutely the best, so far, of all the “Fifty Oneness-State-Songs” courses. It was totally flat.

The dead elephant³⁷

While I was watching the videotape of my run in North Carolina, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know that I am not a strong runner, but the videotape showed that I looked very strong — like another Bholanath. In the chest, back and thighs, there appeared to be so much strength!

At the same time, I was seeing the speed of a dead elephant and I was feeling and identifying with the dead elephant-runner in myself. I said, “If I really have that much strength, why am I going so slowly?”

Blind disciples³⁸

Sunanda is a first-class blind disciple. Today I was running behind her for 200 metres down the 150th Street hill, with only a 50-metre gap between us. I saw her, but she didn’t see me.

Later I saw her again near Jamaica High School. Databir was screaming her name from the car, but still she didn’t see me.

I have so many blind disciples. I saw Saroja running, but she was so discouraged that she didn’t see me. Sunanda had been running quite fast, but Saroja was running slowly. Perhaps she was disappointed in her running.

Then I saw Pratibha. She was looking at my car, but she didn’t recognise it.

Screaming and beaming with joy³⁹

I have never seen any disciple as happy, delighted and excited to see me while running as Mitali. Two days ago I was at my 400-metre mark and she was at the 500-metre mark. When she saw me, she started screaming with joy. I said, “Who can be screaming?” Then I saw her screaming and beaming with joy.

Three-mile record⁴⁰

This evening in Flushing Meadow Park I ran a 3.1-mile race. For three years my three-mile record has remained the same. Now today I have finally broken my record by one second. Long live Sushoban! He went and got me a number at the last minute. My coach Pahar has also set a personal record.

Dipali ran extremely well. She was tenth among all the women runners.

Kick it in!⁴¹

Yesterday, when I was finishing the 3.1-mile race, over the loudspeaker the man was screaming at me to run faster. He was saying, “Kick it in, Sri Chinmoy!” So I kicked and defeated a girl. But in the chute she went ahead of me.

Then while people were receiving prizes, they announced my name and said that I had run. When Dipali got a prize, they said that she was from the Sri Chinmoy team. Then they said, “Sri Chinmoy also ran.”

Why does Sri Chinmoy have to run?⁴²

This morning I ran a four-mile race in Central Park. At the start I saw a middle-aged man talking to his wife and a friend. I was only ten metres away from them, by the side of the road. The man pointed to me and said, “I don’t know why he has to run. Of all people he has to run.”

His wife asked him, “Why are you saying that?”

The man said, “He is Sri Chinmoy, and his disciples run all over the world.” Then he mentioned Thomas’s name — no surname, just Thomas. “His disciple Thomas is going all over the country, running thousands and thousands of miles. Now why does Sri Chinmoy have to run?” he said.

His wife asked, “What is wrong with it?”

I was filled with pride and gratitude for what Thomas was doing. Then the man said, “He and his disciples are doing a very good job.”

At that time I wanted to change my shoes, so Bipin ran and got another pair of running shoes from Dhanu’s car. The man was looking at me with such appreciation, and I smiled at him. I was so embarrassed that everyone was helping me with my shoes while I was sitting there like a king. I tried to take one shoe and put it on myself, but unconsciously Nirvik pulled it away from me. I didn’t want these people to see Nirvik put on my shoes. If it had been after the race, they could have thought that I was dying, but the race had not even started yet.

Shrai, you are going ahead⁴³

At the halfway point of the four-mile race, I saw two men running — a fat man and his friend. As I was passing them, one said, “Hi, Shrai, how are you?” I said, “Fine, thank you.”

Then the man said, “Shrai, you are going ahead of me!”

Dogs and snakes⁴⁴

At the four-mile race there was a dog that was very bad. What was he doing in the race? The owner was there, taking the dog to this side and that side. Sometimes the dog wouldn’t listen to him.

Children should be forbidden in these kinds of races. They should have their own races. It is so hard to run with them! They never, never stay in a straight line. While I take one step, they take three steps. And during these three steps they move like snakes — all serpentine winding!

The president has come⁴⁵

In today’s race I didn’t know that Fred Lebow was ahead of me. They were announcing that Mary Decker Tabb would run there in September. Then they said, “The President has come.” Karabi heard it over the loudspeaker as she was finishing.

Dipali, out of her infinite kindness, stayed behind me so that she could follow me to the end. But Karabi went ahead at the very beginning. Husiar was twentieth out of thousands.

Like a light⁴⁶

A lady told Shephali that she saw me running once a few years ago before she knew anything about meditation. She said, “I saw a man running at a distance. He was like a light. I was so curious that I followed him in my car.” The lady pointed to her third eye and told Shephali, “He was just like a light.”

Then Shephali showed her one of my Run and become books, and the lady was laughing while reading the stories.

The 100-metre dash⁴⁷

When I ran the 100-metre dash in India, after 60 metres, out of the blue I used to get such speed. But here on Sports Day, after 70 metres everything went blank. I was about to collapse.

Next year I will keep the same people in my heat: Pulin, Sandhani, Pulak and Sanatan. My time was 15.2 seconds. Now I am crying, but twenty or thirty years ago I would have laughed at this timing. Now I have to cry and cry and cry. When in my life did I ever run 100 metres even as slow as 15 seconds? I started at 12 seconds and then went to 11. Now, if I can run under 14, I will be so happy. Next year I have to aim at under 15.

I should commit suicide⁴⁸

In India I used to do 200 metres in 23.4 seconds. But today it became 36.9. I should commit suicide. One or two years in India I stood second. Then after that, every year I was first.

In 400 metres I was always first. One year there was a tie with someone who was in another heat. If we had been in the same heat, God knows, I would have gone faster.

The false start⁴⁹

Once in India I was using the starting blocks in a race. When you use the blocks your foot has to touch the ground. You cannot put your foot on the block unless it is also touching the ground. I was 100 percent sure that my foot was touching the ground, so I was surprised when the official gave me a false start. He said my left foot was not touching the ground.

The official felt sorry for me but he couldn’t tell me what I was supposed to do. He could tell by looking that my left foot was not touching the ground, but he couldn’t say anything to correct it. So I took a standing start, which is useless. Even then I won the 200-metre dash. Then afterwards he saw me on the street and said, “I feel very sorry about your timing.”

I said, “I was first.”

He said, “That is true, but if you had started from the crouching position, your timing would have been better.”

Running during the parade⁵⁰

Yesterday’s parade route was seven miles long. From one end to the other, the marchers and floats spread out over 700 metres, practically half a mile. I would run one mile and wait for the parade to go by. Then again I would run one mile and watch the parade.

I told one of my attendants, Tejiyan, to be careful. Next year I will run at a seven-minute pace. He said he has started practising running so he will be able to keep up with me while accompanying me.

A real man⁵¹

I was running near my 500-metre mark on 150th Street when a young student with a tape recorder in his hand came out of his house. He was listening to music. When he saw me he said, “Happy birthday!”

I said, “Thank you!”

Then he said, “You are a real man. There are very few real men on this earth.”

“Real” means that I am a good man.

Your birthday is over⁵²

When I was out on a four-mile run, four or five children approached me and said, “Your birthday is over.”

I said, “Not yet.”

They had seen the parade, so they thought that my birthday was over.

How do you do?⁵³

While I was running, a man said to me, “Hi, Sri Chinmoy! How do you do?”

He used my full name. He was very nice, and I waved to him. So there are good people in this world.

The Rabbi versus the Master⁵⁴

I beat Sanatan in the 100-metre dash on Sports Day. As you know, I always call him my Rabbi. That means that this Indian spiritual Master is better than that Rabbi. Last spring the same Rabbi also lost to the Indian Master. And then a few days ago, again the Rabbi lost. Three times the Rabbi lost, so don’t be a disciple of that Rabbi.

Compelled to run⁵⁵

The two English brothers, Devashishu and Sahadeva, write to me quite often. One time the little one, Sahadeva, lodged a complaint against the older one. He said that sometimes he doesn’t want to run, but his brother compels him. That’s why he hates his brother.

But Sahadeva also loves his brother because his brother is kind in other ways. Now Sahadeva has to love his brother because Devashishu was able to run seven miles. That’s why he got a special prize from me.

The surprise blessing⁵⁶

Today I was practising speed work on the street in front of my house. I would run a hundred metres, stop for a short time and then run another hundred metres. After finishing one 100-metre sprint, I turned around only to see a white dog in front of my house. I didn’t see the owner at all.

All of a sudden a fat lady with white hair came from behind me and put her hand on my left shoulder. She said, “You look so beautiful today!” I smiled at her. What could I do? She was blessing me.

This lady also has a granddaughter. Both of them sometimes sweep their backyard. Her dog’s name is Pauly. Some years ago she had a fight with another lady on my street, and I took her side. So she and I became friends.

Smart guy⁵⁷

This year I started the 47-mile run in the evening before the disciples started. While I was running around Jamaica High School, a boy who was observing me said, “You are showing off.”

I said, “You are right.”

Then the other fellow with him said, “He is a smart guy.”

Can I help you?⁵⁸

While I was running 47 miles, one person came up to me and said, “You do such nice things for people. Sir, can I be of any help to you?”

I said, “Thank you, I do not need any help right now.”

What tennis has done⁵⁹

During the 47-mile run, I was limping. Mahiyan, our tennis champion, passed me and said, “This is what tennis has done to you.”

Observations⁶⁰

I was observing all the disciples during the ultramarathon. Pranika sometimes found it difficult to smile at me because she was dying. Shephali dies inside when she runs, but she always smiles at me. Such a peculiar style Shephali has! She runs as if she is boxing. Her elbows stick out.

Heinz was the rabbit of the day. He is such a good sprinter. He was ahead for so long. Then all of a sudden, he slowed down and disappeared. He sells tofu for Abarita’s factory, so he should have kept some tofu inside his pocket to give him energy.

Databir’s goal was to defeat Khudita, but what could he do? At one point she was 16 laps ahead of him.

The curse⁶¹

While the race was going on, at one point a black lady was standing on the other side of the street, near Apeksha’s old store, cursing us. She was screaming that I have brainwashed all of my disciples. She went on screaming and screaming so loudly!

Descent of an oath⁶²

I was born on a Thursday, so I recently made an oath to run 27 miles every Thursday, starting any time after midnight.

After running thirty-four miles in the 47-mile run, my oath descended to 13 miles. Soon it may descend to 10 miles.

Editor's preface to the first edition

Sri Chinmoy’s interest in running dates back to his youth. At the ashram, or spiritual community, where he lived from the ages of 12 to 32, he was the top-ranked sprinter and, for two consecutive years, decathlon champion. It wasn’t until the fall of 1978, however, that he first became interested in long-distance running. Since then, he has pursued the sport with the same one-pointed intensity that he has brought to his various literary, artistic and musical pursuits. For Sri Chinmoy, running — like writing, painting and composing — is nothing but an expression of his inner cry for ever-greater perfection: perfection in the inner world and perfection in the outer world. “Our goal is always to go beyond, beyond, beyond,” he says. “There are no limits to our capacity, because we have the infinite Divine within us, and the Supreme is always transcending His own Reality.”

Sri Chinmoy regards running as a perfect spiritual metaphor. “Try to be a runner and go beyond all that is bothering you and standing in your way,” he tells his students. “Be a real runner so that ignorance, limitations and imperfections will all drop far behind you in the race.” In this spirit he has inspired countless individuals to “run” — both literally and figuratively.

“Who is the winner?” he writes in one of his aphorisms. “Not he who wins the race, but he who loves to run sleeplessly and breathlessly with God the Supreme Runner.” As a fully God-realised spiritual Master, Sri Chinmoy has consecrated his life to this divinely soulful and supremely fruitful task. At the same time, on an entirely different level, he has made some significant contributions to the sport of running. He was the inspiration behind several long-distance relays, including a recent 300-mile run in Connecticut and the 9,000-mile Liberty-Torch run through all the states held during the 1976 Bicentennial. He has composed several running songs, which his students have performed at a number of races. His students have sponsored Sri Chinmoy Runs throughout the U.S., Canada, Europe and Australia as an offering to the running community. Moreover, Sri Chinmoy has encouraged his followers around the world to take up running as a means of overcoming lethargy and increasing their spiritual aspiration on the physical plane. Two hundred of his disciples, for example — most of whom were novice runners — completed last years’s New York City Marathon.

In the year he has been running, Sri Chinmoy himself has completed seven marathons. He averages about seventy to ninety miles a week, with most of his running done late at night or in the early hours of the morning. During his runs he has been chased by dogs, accosted by hooligans, greeted by admirers and cheered on by children. Sometimes he has had significant inner experiences; other times he has suffered deplorable outer experiences. As a spiritual Master of the highest order, Sri Chinmoy views these experiences — both the divine ones and the undivine ones — with a unique perspective. The running world is nothing but the human world in microcosm, and Sri Chinmoy’s reminiscences stand as a remarkable commentary on the whimsical, poignant, funny, outrageous and, above all, supremely significant experience we call life.