Question: Guru, how can I lose fifteen pounds in one day? Forever?

Guru: If you lose fifteen pounds in one day, nobody will be happy. Not even one member of your inner family — your body, vital, mind, heart and soul — will be happy if you lose fifteen pounds in one day. So, don’t try to make them unhappy. Lose fifteen pounds in four months or three months. Then they will be very happy, very pleased with you. If you really want to lose fifteen pounds, then from today you can change your name. We shall call you Nathan. Your name will be Nathan from now on, and Nathan’s name will be Casey. If we call you Nathan, then automatically you will solve your problem, since Nathan is so thin. Just change your name, and automatically you will lose your fifteen pounds.