Question: One day I saw a father standing on the sidewalk holding his daughter. He looked serious and he was pretending that he was going to throw her into the traffic. But she was so secure that he would not do that, she was smiling and laughing. I don't feel that you want to throw me out, but how can I feel as secure as that child?
Sri Chinmoy: By this time you know that God has given me infinitely, infinitely more Compassion than any human parents. I have more Compassion even in the human way than most, if not all, human parents. But the divine heart that the Supreme has given me has infinitely more Compassion that the heart of any human being. Again, in the human heart also there is always room for comparison. Somebody has a smaller heart and somebody else has a bigger heart in a human way. Some people are kind, some people are generous, some people are sympathetic, some people have closeness and oneness with the suffering of the world. So in the human way also, God has given me, out of His infinite Compassion, an extremely, extremely, extremely vast heart.When I am strict with someone, it doesn’t mean that my human heart is closed at that time. Far from it. My human heart has become inseparably one with the divine Heart, which is all Wisdom. The divine Heart knows the ultimate Reality, ultimate Truth, ultimate Divinity. If the human heart becomes inseparably one with the divine heart, when the divine heart wants to do something, the human heart knows perfectly well that that is the right thing, so it does the right thing in a divine way. An ordinary human being will think, “How could he do that? Even I could not have done that; even I could not have been so unkind.” But here the question of unkindness does not arise at all. It is only that the human heart has surrendered to the divine heart, which knows the ultimate Reality.
To come back to your question, if you have a sincere longing not to leave me, do not think I will ever want to inspire you or instigate you or compel you in some way to leave the path. No, it is not possible. When someone sincerely says, “I don’t want to leave you, so please don’t let me go,” I tell you, that person will never go. But there are some who outwardly say, “I don’t want to leave you,” but inwardly they have left me six months before or two years or even eight years before. Outwardly I may not tell them, “Go! You have been very undivine, very unaspiring,” but those people have left me long ago, in the inner world of aspiration and in the outer world of dedication. If I tell them outwardly that they should leave, they may feel that they have got the shock of their life. But actually they have left long ago. Only with infinite Compassion I wait and see if there is any hope. The doctor has said that the patient is about to die, but those who love him sincerely wait and pray that perhaps some miracle will take place and the patient will recover.
But I wish to say that if anybody sincerely says to me, “Don’t let me go; I don’t ever want to go,” if it comes directly from the heart of that person, I tell you that person can rest assured that I will never compel him to go. What actually happens is that people become complacent after a couple of years. They have worked for a while, so now they feel that they can enjoy their pension. But spirituality is not like that. At every moment a tug-of-war is going on between good thoughts and bad thoughts, between ignorance-night and wisdom-light. And, unfortunately, the undivine forces are much more vigilant. The divine forces have a complacent feeling. They think that since God is divine, God is perfect, God is dealing with Eternity, Infinity and Immortality, ultimately He will grant them the victory, because they have taken God’s side. True, they have taken God’s side, but that doesn’t mean that they can sleep most of the time and on occasions they can serve God. The divine forces know perfectly well that ultimately they will win; therefore, they take rest. It is like a very good runner who does not run his fastest in the race because he knows that ultimately he will win, whereas the weaker one tries his utmost to defeat the better runner. The hostile forces always like to attack us. When we succeed in one particular field, they attack us more vehemently. So when we achieve victory, we have to be very careful, for at that time the hostile forces will attack us most powerfully.
The thought-world is the most creative world or it is the most destructive world. One thought is enough to totally ruin the entire day for a sincere seeker. The bad seeker indulges in bad thoughts, undivine thoughts, unhealthy thoughts, vital thoughts all the time. His standard is at the foot of the tree, and he is more that willing to remain there. But seekers who experience good, divine, healthy thoughts most of the time know perfectly well the value of good thoughts and the value of bad thoughts. A sincere seeker will feel miserable if one undivine thought enters into his mind. Then he becomes insecure. But if he becomes deeply disturbed, he will not be able to transform that undivine thought into a divine thought. He should feel, “I am sorry I was not guarded, but since this thought has come, the thing to do is to fight it out.” You have to say to the bad thought: “You have come, but I have ten good thoughts to challenge you. Ten good things that I have done will come to retaliate.” In that way fight against the bad thought.
It is from the mental world that insecurity starts, not from the physical world or the vital world. In some rare cases insecurity starts in the psychic world when the heart mixes too much with the emotional vital. Then the heart becomes a prey to the vital forces; it becomes weak and it cannot feel the light or see the light of the soul, so it becomes really weak and insecure. Then insecurity starts in the heart. Otherwise, the heart always feels oneness with the soul, oneness with God, and it cannot be insecure. But the mind is so tricky and, at the same time, so helpless. The mind as such is not bad, but thoughts come and strike the mind, and then the mind gets agitated. If you can remain thoughtless — not like an idiot, but thoughtless in the sense that the mind is absolutely calm and quiet — then you will constantly feel peace in boundless measure. When you feel peace in infinite measure, the question of insecurity does not arise.
Insecure people are digging their own graves at every moment. People who are secure are climbing up the tree of evolution at every moment. Security must be based on the Supreme’s Compassion. It is not because I have done this, not because I have said this, that the Supreme has granted me security, but because He knows that I am entirely His. I shall always be for Him, because He has given me the capacity to be on His side. Otherwise, I shall always be only for myself. Because He has given me the capacity, He is giving me the capacity and He will be giving me the capacity, I am on His side.
