535. Who else is utterly helpless?

Who else is utterly helpless,
If not I?
An urgent matter compelled me
To phone Heaven.
Heaven’s line was busy, as usual.
I phoned earth.
Earth was not at home.
I phoned my soul.
My soul told me that
My problem was too complicated,
And I should not bother it.
I phoned my Lord.
My Lord said, “Son, when will
You learn the supreme secret:
‘Self-help is the best help’?”
Now tell me, my seeker-friends,
Who else is utterly helpless,
If not I?