Question: Why is it that I find it so difficult to surrender to my inner life?
Sri Chinmoy: You constantly surrender to earthly things — noise, the traffic lights, the government. You feel that you are helpless if you do not surrender to these things, and totally lost, whereas if you do surrender, at least you can maintain your existence on earth. You feel you have to be clever to stay on earth. You feel you have to make some compromise between your desires and the world that you actually see around you. So whatever the earth gives you, even if it is a form of torture, you feel that you have to accept it.Now if you want to lead an aspiring life, then you have to have this same kind of feeling towards spiritual things. You have to feel that if you do not pray, if you do not meditate, then you will be totally lost; if you do not cry, if you do not surrender to the higher divinity, then your whole existence will be of no value and you need not stay on earth. You have to feel that without the inner guidance you are totally helpless and lost. And this inner guidance comes only when you really want to surrender your ignorance to the Light within you.
There are millions and billions of people on earth who are not praying and meditating, but they still exist, although they may be living an animal life. But if you feel that it is not enough just to maintain your existence on earth, if you feel that your existence should have some meaning, some purpose, some fulfilment, then you have to go to the inner life, the spiritual life. If you see that only the inner life can offer you Peace, Light and Bliss, then naturally you will surrender to the inner life, the life of purity, the life of reality.
So aspiring people will try to go beyond earthly circumstances and events and surrender to their inner divinity. This is not the surrender of a slave to the master; it is not a helpless surrender. Here one surrenders his imperfections, limitations, bondage and ignorance to his highest Self, which is flooded with Peace, Light and Bliss. Here one does not lose his individuality or personality. No! Rather his individuality and his personality are enlarged. They expand into Infinity.