Swami Vivekananda's desire for initiation

Swami Vivekananda was a great, great spiritual figure. He was a towering giant in the inner worlds. Just one or two days prior to Sri Ramakrishna’s earth-departure — some even say a few hours — Naren (Swami Vivekananda) said to his Master, “You are leaving us. What have you given me? What can you do?” Sri Ramakrishna answered, “I am now giving you my all.” He concentrated on Naren and entered into trance. Afterwards, he told Naren, “Now I am a beggar. To you I have given everything. All my inner wealth I have given to you.”

Naren was Sri Ramakrishna’s dearest disciple. Sri Ramakrishna had brought Naren’s soul down to earth to do his work and the work of his consort, Sarada Devi. Sri Ramakrishna always showed Naren infinite affection and love. He often extolled Naren’s height to the other disciples.

On another occasion, after Swami Vivekananda had already conquered the heart of America and become world famous, all of a sudden a strong desire entered into him. At that time, Sri Ramakrishna had left the body, but Sarada Devi was still in the physical.

Swami Vivekananda said, “Thakur (Sri Ramakrishna) did not initiate me. I need initiation to make progress.” Can you imagine! With his Master’s compassion, blessings and grace, Swami Vivekananda had become one of the absolutely supreme spiritual figures. But now he sought initiation from another spiritual Master, Pavhari Baba, who lived in Ghazipur. Swami Vivekananda had disciples of his own by that time, but still he felt he needed initiation!

Swami Vivekananda went to Ghazipur. He visited Pavhari Baba in his home and begged initiation from him not once, but sixteen times! Each time he went to Pavhari Baba, Swami Vivekananda had a vision of his own Guru, Sri Ramakrishna, looking at him and offering a very sad face. Finally, Swami Vivekananda lost all his desire for initiation. He said, “I will not go again to Pavhari Baba or any other great Master. I will not torture my Master any more.”

Even when a person reaches a very, very high spiritual state, he must not think he is safe from making mistakes. Why things happen, we do not know; but we must always pray to our Lord Beloved Supreme for His Protection.