God was simply shocked
Introduction
On the strength of my inseparable oneness with the souls of my students all the world over, I ventured to write this book for their fastest spiritual progress.If anybody takes these heart-rending and soul-stirring messages seriously and devotedly, and works on them cheerfully, bravely and unreservedly, they definitely will before long become supremely chosen hero-warrior-children of our Lord Absolute Beloved Supreme to fight against the age-old ignorance-night and establish His full manifestation on earth.
— Sri Chinmoy
1.
God was simply shockedTo find my abominable
Plus unquestionably unpardonable
Carelessness, nay, callousness,
In not feeding Him
Every day
In the small hours of the morning
With my prayers and meditations,
Which He so desperately needs
And rightly deserves.
2.
God was simply shockedWhen I criticised
His beautiful creation
Ruthlessly.
3.
God was simply shockedWhen He saw me
Majestically and proudly complacent
And not at all concerned
About my spiritual life.
4.
God was simply shockedWhen He saw
My most precious enthusiasm-life
Had considerably disappeared.
5.
God was simply shockedTo see
My devotion-heart-tears
Were totally missing.
6.
God was simply shockedTo see me playing happily
With my ceaseless
Self-doubts.
7.
God was simply shockedTo see me listening
To my doubting mind
Very faithfully.
8.
God was simply shockedTo see
My vital and my mind
Secretly deserting
My aspiration-heart.
9.
God was simply shockedTo see me
Extolling to the skies
My stupendous success-life
And giving Him
No credit whatsoever.
10.
God was simply shockedTo see my heart totally empty
Of gratitude-flowers.
11.
God was simply shockedTo see that I was doubting
His unconditional
Compassion-Eye.
12.
God was simply shockedTo see
My unthinkable delay
In delivering
His express Messages.
13.
God was simply shockedTo see my doubting mind,
Restless vital
And lethargic body
Working together
Against my aspiring heart.
14.
God was simply shockedTo see me feeding
My doubting mind
So happily and proudly.
15.
God was simply shockedTo see
That I was not listening
To His lectures
Most attentively.
16.
God was simply shockedTo see
That there was not even
An iota of sincerity
Inside my gratitude-heart.
17.
God was simply shockedThat I was not maintaining
The same beauty and fragrance
In my devotion-heart.
18.
God was simply shockedTo see
That I had lost
Two most valuable virtues:
Simplicity and patience.
19.
God was simply shockedThat I was giving all importance
To my self-assertion
And not to God's Will
At all.
20.
God was simply shockedTo see
That there was no genuine
Sincerity-breath
In my dedication-service-life.
21.
God was simply shockedTo see me entering into
A self-styled
And self-sufficient life.
22.
God was simply shockedTo see me losing so rapidly
My inspirational joy
In my spiritual life.
23.
God was simply shockedTo see me incapable
Of knowing
What true surrender is.
24.
God was simply shockedTo see me building fast,
Very fast,
My self-indulgence-tower.
25.
God was simply shockedTo see
That I so often
Deliberately ignore
My Heaven-climbing
Responsibilities.
26.
God was simply shockedTo see me playing
Happily and proudly
With hesitation, doubt
And suspicion.
27.
God was simply shockedTo see
My spiritual discipline-life
So drastically dwindling.
28.
God was simply shockedTo see me forcing
My aspiration-heart
To starve to death.
29.
God was simply shockedTo see
That I was thinking of God
Less and less
As the days were passing by,
And thinking more and more
About my desire-fulfilment-life.
30.
God was simply shockedTo see
That my overconfidence-life
Was taking me away from Him
Fast, very fast.
31.
God was simply shockedTo see
That I was drinking deep
My success-glories
And not placing them devotedly
At His Feet.
32.
God was simply shockedThat I was not at all anxious
To regain
My aspiration-heart's
Devotion-tears.
33.
God was simply shockedTo find me
Wallowing in the pleasures
Of extravagant lethargy.
34.
God was simply shockedTo find the drastic descent
Of my life's purity-height.
35.
God was simply shockedTo find me quite happy
And unconcerned about my
Readiness-willingness-eagerness-heart-bankruptcy.
36.
God was simply shockedTo see
The most unfortunate decline
Of my aspiration-dedication-speed.
37.
God was simply shockedTo see
My utterly baseless feeling
Of inferiority
In every aspect of my life.
He also feels sad and miserable
That my inferiority-poison
Is slowly but unerringly killing
My aspiration-life.
38.
God was simply shockedTo see
That I have given myself
A totally new name
Without His permission —
Even without His knowledge:
God-attention-expectation-frustration.
39.
God was simply shockedTo see
My sesquipedalian list,
To be purely and breathlessly precise,
Of my catastrophic expectations
In my inner life of aspiration
And my pathetic expectations
In my outer life of dedication.
40.
God was simply shockedTo see
My hopelessly weak inability
To establish
My inseparable oneness
With the streaming tears
And bleeding hearts
Of humanity,
Even for a fleeting day.
41.
God was simply shockedTo discover
That I was enjoying
My stone-life-
Consciousness-emptiness-heart
For a very long duration.
42.
God was simply shockedTo find
That I had already sold
My illumination-soul
And aspiration-heart
In order to pay the exorbitant fee
To become a brave soldier
Of ignorance-night.
43.
God was simply shockedTo have
An unprecedented experience
In His Eternity's Existence:
My earth-bound insecurity-life
Devoured His Heaven-free Breath,
Instead of my devouring Him
With my unconditional love,
Devotion and surrender.
44.
God was simply shockedTo find
That I was, in secrecy supreme,
Beating my mind-drum
Harder than the hardest,
Consciously and deliberately,
To obliterate my previous
God-readiness
And God-acceptance-life.
45.
God was simply shockedWhen He entered into
My sleeping, snoring
And utterly God-oblivious
And sanctimoniously self-amorous
Body, vital, mind, heart and life.
46.
God was simply shockedAnd unspeakably perplexed
And confused
When He entered into
My abysmal abyss-stupidity-mind
That had convinced me
Of my indispensability
In God's Life.
47.
God was simply shockedTo see me playing
Hide-and-seek
With useless and lifeless
Desert-barrenness
Instead of treasuring and enjoying
The breathless beauty and fragrance
Of my heart-garden.
God whispered into my non-listening
And unwilling ears
That my darkest
Ignorance-enjoyment-life
Beggars description.
