Superiority

Superiority, my superiority, why are you so cruel to me? Why do you make me always sad and mad? Do you not realise that because of you, at every moment I am assailed by the fear that someone is going to dethrone me and take away my crown?

Why do I have to be always in the world of darkening, threatening and killing fear? I want joy at every moment, and this joy I can never get from you. The fleeting joy that I get from sitting an inch higher than the rest of the world disappears when I see the arrows of jealousy, meanness, anger and frustration that others hurl at me. The joy I get by becoming a little bit superior to others is insignificant in comparison to the suffering I then go through. I need abiding happiness, and this happiness I can never get from you, O superiority.

I do not need and I do not want inferiority, either. Inferiority always kills me with sorrow, despondency, fear, doubt and meanness. In the battlefield of life inferiority sometimes gives way and surrenders helplessly to superiority, thinking that it is a hopeless case to fight against it any more. Willingly or unwillingly inferiority serves superiority. Inferiority unconsciously wants to remain where it is, while superiority never, never wants to come down to the level of inferiority or allow inferiority to be on the same footing. Superiority fights until the last moment to maintain its supremacy. It never wants to give up its pedestal.

O superiority, I do not need you and I do not want you. O inferiority, I do not need you and I do not want you. O equality, I need you and I want you desperately and sleeplessly. I will need you until the divine Hour dawns when I know consciously what God's Will is. Once I know precisely what God's Will is and once I can cheerfully and unconditionally execute God's Will, then in my life of aspiration and dedication there can be no such thing as superiority or inferiority. When I am all oneness with the universal and transcendental Will of my Beloved Supreme, happiness will reign supreme in my heart of aspiration and in my life of dedication.

O superiority, O inferiority, if I stay with you, far will I have to go. And even at the end of my journey, I will see that I have not gone anywhere, for with superiority and inferiority I have no real goal. But if I start with equality, there shall come a time when God's Oneness-Reality will come and lead me, guide me and take me to my destined goal. It is from equality that I will enter into God's Oneness-Reality, and there I will have constant peace, constant satisfaction and constant love for the poor earth and the rich Heaven.