Question: Guru, your family members had such love for you and such oneness with you. Is there anything we can do to increase our love for you and our oneness with you?
Sri Chinmoy: The difference is that my sisters and brothers never expected anything from me in return, period. They expected nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing! They only wanted my joy, in my own way. My disciples give me joy, and at the same time they expect from me. Since they have given me joy, since they have done something good or great, since they have smiled at me, since they have achieved something, since they have received a good performance report from their office, they expect something from me. Always if somebody does something good for me or even for himself, which is the same thing, there is expectation, expectation. The individual expects that I will say something nice, something encouraging, or I will give him something.In my case, my sisters and brothers never, never cared for expectation. They never expected anything from me. They expected from me only in a silly way: that I would come to eat at a certain time. If I was late, they scolded me so affectionately. These expectations were on the very ordinary level. Once when I was late, my cousin playfully said, “I will kick you!” I said, “All right, kick me! Show me how you will kick me.” My cousin raised her leg to show me how she would kick me, and then she could not lower it, because I used a little bit of occult power. This was her silly expectation: only that I should not come late. Again, the same cousin showed me such affection. In return, she did not expect anything from me.
When my disciples do something good, there is expectation. When there is expectation, there is always a problem. At that time joy goes away. The human problem is always expectation. We say, “I did so much for you. Can you not do something for me?”
The whole philosophy in our spiritual life is “give, give, give.” If so is the Will of God, God will give us back. We pray and pray and pray for something good. Our prayer goes on, goes on, goes on. If it is the Will of God, we will get it; but our expectation ruins our joy. Then again, our desire may not be fulfilled. From the beginning we have to say, “I desire this, my Lord. If it is Your Will, kindly fulfil my desire. But if it is not Your Will, then please forget about it.”
Here is the problem: expectation. The solution is to live in the heart. We can live in the heart no matter how old we are — even if we are seventy, eighty or ninety years old. If we live in the heart, everything is possible, everything is possible. When we give something to a little child, he is so full of affection. Here and there he moves around with such joy. In exactly the same way if we can live in the heart, we can love others and we can fulfil ourselves.