Question: I have an enemy named anxiety. When I run 400 metres, I know I can do it, but when I think of it, my vital starts running like a motor, and I'm full of anxiety. I don't know if it's from a sense of competition, but it's the thought of being exhausted. It's a baseless fear.
Sri Chinmoy: You have run 400 metres many, many times. You know that you have run so many times and you are still alive, even though you became exhausted. The 400 metres is most difficult because it demands both stamina and speed. In most running, you need either speed or stamina. For long distance you need stamina and for short distance you need speed. But the 400 metres demands both stamina and speed. It is a most difficult race. But since you have run it many, many times, you know that you are not going to die. The difficulty in your case, is not actually fear of exhaustion, but a subtle fear that you may not be first. That creates anxiety. You do not actually worry that after 400 metres you are going to collapse and die. That fear would be absolutely baseless. But the real fear is that someone is going to beat you.You have to have the feeling that even if somebody else comes in first, you will do your best. "I will do my best. Who cares what others do?" If you have that feeling, then there can be no anxiety. You have to learn the difference between anxiety and alertness. Anxiety and alertness are two different dynamic energies. When the starter is about to fire the gun, you have to be very alert. You cannot say, "If he comes in first and I come in last, no harm." No, let him do his best and you also do your best, your utmost.
In India I once saw a race among several men over the age of 65. Two of the runners had such stupid false modesty that when the starter fired the gun they did not start. The starter said to one of the two men, "What are you doing?" The man said, "He has not yet started, so how can I start? It is not polite." He wanted to be such a perfect gentleman that he did not want to take any advantage. Is this not stupidity? When the starter says: "Go!" at that time it is for both of them. But this fellow looked to the side and, just because his friend had not started, he said, "How can I start now?" Everybody laughed and laughed while they were running. Naturally one of them was a better runner, but he did not want to stand first. He wanted to stay with the one that was lagging behind, so they ran side by side right to the finish line. Is it not the height of stupidity?
We want to see your capacity. You show your capacity. Whether you are going to come in first or last is for God to decide. You cannot say that you will not show your capacity just because somebody else will not be able to run as fast as you or will be able to run faster. When you are about to run 400 metres, you should always feel that you are going to run alone. Feel that you are the only runner, and you will run at your fastest speed. Before a race do not think of others; think only of yourself. Then there can be no anxiety.